having trouble keeping up. “Wha?”
“Sorry about that. We shouldn’t mix business with…ah…other things. Why don’t you zip up and join me in the living room?”
“Why don’t we have sex on the bathroom floor instead?” he asked in what he hoped was a reasonable tone, but what he was afraid sounded dangerously low and rough with lust. He felt growing anger and stomped on it. No meant no, of course, but he could easily strangle her right now. Had he ever been so aroused? Not since the night he lost his virginity…and maybe not even then.
“No thanks.”
“The kitchen floor? The living room? The fire escape? The hallway? The corner diner? Where?”
“Get dressed,” she said, not unkindly and left the room.
CHAPTER FOUR
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. The thought thundered through her brain, even as she cupped her breasts, even as she ached for more of Jared’s mouth and hands. She had nearly let him take her. ‘Let him’—ha! She had nearly raped him in his own damned bathroom, that was how badly she wanted him. He was all that was good and she was exactly the opposite and why, oh why couldn’t she keep that in mind?
Kara fastened her bra, pulled her shirt back over her head and sat down on the couch, dreading the moment Jared would come out of the bathroom. She’d abused him dreadfully, bringing them both to the edge then backing off and walking out without so much as a “sorry, I’m not that kind of girl”. She wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d wanted to slap her. She was so disgusted with herself she would have stood still for it.
But only once.
She tried to pull her hair into a ponytail with trembling fingers, then remembered the clip was still in the bathroom and gave up. “Remember the rules,” she said softly, trying to soothe herself, calm herself. Her voice sounded hoarse and she cleared her throat and went on silently, trying for calm. Usually she didn’t have to try. People you care for die or leave. So it’s better—safer—to never show true feelings.
Don’t get close. Don’t get personal. You stupid cow.
Scolding herself usually made her smile. Not this time. She had used Jared badly and owed him an explanation she would never let him hear: that she was powerfully drawn to him, that she would take a knife in the kidney before seeing him hurt, that she wished they could be together. Might as well wish she wasn’t a carbon-based life form…
Jared walked into the room and tossed her hair clip at her, gently underhand. At least he hadn’t fired it at her face with all his strength. She caught the clip and immediately pushed her hair up into it. She couldn’t look at him.
“It’s my breath, isn’t it?”
Startled, she looked up and opened her mouth to reply. Might have known he’d turn it into a joke , she thought ruefully and, on the heels of that, You’re not worthy to be sitting on his couch, much less putting your hands on his body, so keep it in mind, okay, doll?
He held up his hands. Skilled hands, healer’s hands. Lover’s hands. She tried not to stare at his fingers.
“No, no, you can tell me. I won’t be mad, I promise. Too many onions on my burger, right? I can take it.” He grinned at her, that crooked smile she was starting to love.
“I’m sorry,” she said. She looked up at him helplessly. “I don’t have an explanation.”
“That’s okay, I do.” He flopped down beside her and put his feet on the coffee table with a satisfying thump. She wanted to snuggle into him, the warmth of his body. Instead, she stared at the carpet.
“You’re secretly in love with me and couldn’t help yourself. Or, you’ve been heavily medicated for some time and need new drugs. Or you lost a bet. Or—”
“You’re very nice,” she interrupted, patting his thigh and then snatching her hand away. His thigh was long and heavily muscled; she wondered what he did to stay in shape. She wondered what he would think if she kissed him where her hand had
“Sorry about that. We shouldn’t mix business with…ah…other things. Why don’t you zip up and join me in the living room?”
“Why don’t we have sex on the bathroom floor instead?” he asked in what he hoped was a reasonable tone, but what he was afraid sounded dangerously low and rough with lust. He felt growing anger and stomped on it. No meant no, of course, but he could easily strangle her right now. Had he ever been so aroused? Not since the night he lost his virginity…and maybe not even then.
“No thanks.”
“The kitchen floor? The living room? The fire escape? The hallway? The corner diner? Where?”
“Get dressed,” she said, not unkindly and left the room.
CHAPTER FOUR
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. The thought thundered through her brain, even as she cupped her breasts, even as she ached for more of Jared’s mouth and hands. She had nearly let him take her. ‘Let him’—ha! She had nearly raped him in his own damned bathroom, that was how badly she wanted him. He was all that was good and she was exactly the opposite and why, oh why couldn’t she keep that in mind?
Kara fastened her bra, pulled her shirt back over her head and sat down on the couch, dreading the moment Jared would come out of the bathroom. She’d abused him dreadfully, bringing them both to the edge then backing off and walking out without so much as a “sorry, I’m not that kind of girl”. She wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d wanted to slap her. She was so disgusted with herself she would have stood still for it.
But only once.
She tried to pull her hair into a ponytail with trembling fingers, then remembered the clip was still in the bathroom and gave up. “Remember the rules,” she said softly, trying to soothe herself, calm herself. Her voice sounded hoarse and she cleared her throat and went on silently, trying for calm. Usually she didn’t have to try. People you care for die or leave. So it’s better—safer—to never show true feelings.
Don’t get close. Don’t get personal. You stupid cow.
Scolding herself usually made her smile. Not this time. She had used Jared badly and owed him an explanation she would never let him hear: that she was powerfully drawn to him, that she would take a knife in the kidney before seeing him hurt, that she wished they could be together. Might as well wish she wasn’t a carbon-based life form…
Jared walked into the room and tossed her hair clip at her, gently underhand. At least he hadn’t fired it at her face with all his strength. She caught the clip and immediately pushed her hair up into it. She couldn’t look at him.
“It’s my breath, isn’t it?”
Startled, she looked up and opened her mouth to reply. Might have known he’d turn it into a joke , she thought ruefully and, on the heels of that, You’re not worthy to be sitting on his couch, much less putting your hands on his body, so keep it in mind, okay, doll?
He held up his hands. Skilled hands, healer’s hands. Lover’s hands. She tried not to stare at his fingers.
“No, no, you can tell me. I won’t be mad, I promise. Too many onions on my burger, right? I can take it.” He grinned at her, that crooked smile she was starting to love.
“I’m sorry,” she said. She looked up at him helplessly. “I don’t have an explanation.”
“That’s okay, I do.” He flopped down beside her and put his feet on the coffee table with a satisfying thump. She wanted to snuggle into him, the warmth of his body. Instead, she stared at the carpet.
“You’re secretly in love with me and couldn’t help yourself. Or, you’ve been heavily medicated for some time and need new drugs. Or you lost a bet. Or—”
“You’re very nice,” she interrupted, patting his thigh and then snatching her hand away. His thigh was long and heavily muscled; she wondered what he did to stay in shape. She wondered what he would think if she kissed him where her hand had
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