Fiona get back.
There’s a slight lull this time, then a ping.
I’ll pick you up in ten.
“Damn, you weren’t kidding.”Alex gives a half-hearted smile as I get into his car.He stares at my stomach.“I’d have a hard time getting behind the wheel, too.”
“Laugh it up,” I say sarcastically, but we both chuckle, for a few seconds.At the coffeehouse, he gets me a green tea and cookie, waving off my money.
“I’ve got a rule,” he says, pulling out his wallet, “and that’s to always pay for a pregnant woman’s food.”
“Why?”
He shrugged, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.“Good karma, maybe?Seems chivalrous.”
“Well, thank you,” I say, “though I think we can both admit I don’t deserve chivalry.”
“It’s not about deserving,” he says, and leaves it at that.
We sit outside on the patio.The sun is still out, golden and just the right intensity.It lights the ends of his hair and reflects in his glasses, but I stare through the glare, to his eyes.Despite the joking, I can tell he has something important to say.
Of course he does, I tell myself. Why else would he have texted me?
“So,” he says, taking a sip of his coffee, “saw Silas on the news last week.Actually, every night since last Sunday, if I’m being honest.”
I nod.“His trial started yesterday.”I pause, wondering if I should tell him what I learned this morning from Silas himself.“He and his ex-wife are back together.She’s the one who got him out on bail, hired his lawyer, all that.”
Alex raises his eyebrows.“That’s pretty cool, I guess.That they could work things out.Kind of weird, too.But in a nice way.”He clears his throat, his ramble trailing, and doesn’t look at me when he asks, “So you and him…”
“…are done,” I finish, “for real, this time.”I look at my hands, picking the cuticles around each nail.“We aren’t meant to be together.And now we’re both ready to accept that.”I shrug.“Wish I’d figured it out sooner, of course.But…well.”My eyes meet his, just for a second.
“And if the baby’s his?”
I shrug again.“I would have him in the kid’s life.And my life, I guess, at least through that aspect.I wouldn’t want to make the mistake my mom did.”
Alex nods.He bites his lip, then asks, “Can I…feel him kick?Just, you know, one more time in case…in case he is mine.”
I smile, just a little, and scoot my chair out.Alex pulls his closer and rests his hands where I tell him, waiting.
“Whoa,” he laughs, when the baby delivers a kick powerful enough to make his hand jump.“He’s got some serious strength, huh?”
“Tell me about it.”
Our laughs fizzle back to silence.
“Listen, Erin,” he says, exhaling sharply, “I don’t know what’s going to happen after that test comes back, and I can’t promise anything in terms of…of my reaction, I guess.Not until I know.”He looks at me.“But if you’d let me, I would like to be there.At least in the waiting room.”
“You can be in the delivery room,” I say, too fast.I catch myself.“If you want to, I mean.On the other hand, I totally understand if you don’t.”Instinctively, my hands move to my stomach.“I don’t know why anyone would want to be at the birth of a kid that might not be theirs.”
“Because it might be,” he
There’s a slight lull this time, then a ping.
I’ll pick you up in ten.
“Damn, you weren’t kidding.”Alex gives a half-hearted smile as I get into his car.He stares at my stomach.“I’d have a hard time getting behind the wheel, too.”
“Laugh it up,” I say sarcastically, but we both chuckle, for a few seconds.At the coffeehouse, he gets me a green tea and cookie, waving off my money.
“I’ve got a rule,” he says, pulling out his wallet, “and that’s to always pay for a pregnant woman’s food.”
“Why?”
He shrugged, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.“Good karma, maybe?Seems chivalrous.”
“Well, thank you,” I say, “though I think we can both admit I don’t deserve chivalry.”
“It’s not about deserving,” he says, and leaves it at that.
We sit outside on the patio.The sun is still out, golden and just the right intensity.It lights the ends of his hair and reflects in his glasses, but I stare through the glare, to his eyes.Despite the joking, I can tell he has something important to say.
Of course he does, I tell myself. Why else would he have texted me?
“So,” he says, taking a sip of his coffee, “saw Silas on the news last week.Actually, every night since last Sunday, if I’m being honest.”
I nod.“His trial started yesterday.”I pause, wondering if I should tell him what I learned this morning from Silas himself.“He and his ex-wife are back together.She’s the one who got him out on bail, hired his lawyer, all that.”
Alex raises his eyebrows.“That’s pretty cool, I guess.That they could work things out.Kind of weird, too.But in a nice way.”He clears his throat, his ramble trailing, and doesn’t look at me when he asks, “So you and him…”
“…are done,” I finish, “for real, this time.”I look at my hands, picking the cuticles around each nail.“We aren’t meant to be together.And now we’re both ready to accept that.”I shrug.“Wish I’d figured it out sooner, of course.But…well.”My eyes meet his, just for a second.
“And if the baby’s his?”
I shrug again.“I would have him in the kid’s life.And my life, I guess, at least through that aspect.I wouldn’t want to make the mistake my mom did.”
Alex nods.He bites his lip, then asks, “Can I…feel him kick?Just, you know, one more time in case…in case he is mine.”
I smile, just a little, and scoot my chair out.Alex pulls his closer and rests his hands where I tell him, waiting.
“Whoa,” he laughs, when the baby delivers a kick powerful enough to make his hand jump.“He’s got some serious strength, huh?”
“Tell me about it.”
Our laughs fizzle back to silence.
“Listen, Erin,” he says, exhaling sharply, “I don’t know what’s going to happen after that test comes back, and I can’t promise anything in terms of…of my reaction, I guess.Not until I know.”He looks at me.“But if you’d let me, I would like to be there.At least in the waiting room.”
“You can be in the delivery room,” I say, too fast.I catch myself.“If you want to, I mean.On the other hand, I totally understand if you don’t.”Instinctively, my hands move to my stomach.“I don’t know why anyone would want to be at the birth of a kid that might not be theirs.”
“Because it might be,” he
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