Thin Air by Storm Constantine Page B

now she
felt jumpy. When Gus went out at night, all the furniture flashed
into sharper focus, and had a waiting look about it. There were no
cold spots, and certainly no Sounds, but twice during the evening
following the phone calls, Jay thought she caught the flicker of a
shadow in the corner of her eye. She changed any 40 watt bulbs for
60 watt and kept all the lamps turned on.
    ‘I know I’m creating all this
myself,’ she told Gina, her hands cold around her coffee cup, ‘but
I just want to talk about it. I want it to go away.’
    ‘It’s a reaction,’ Gina said.
‘Dex’s disappearance destroyed you, Jay. It’s going to take time
for you to get over it completely, and that documentary was just a
trigger.’
    ‘But what about the
magazine?’
    Gina frowned, clearly trying to
think of a rational explanation quickly, so that her pause would
not seem significant. ‘Gus was probably right. You had an old copy
of it lying around, and it just got mixed up with some other
papers, or something. If it was any other magazine, you wouldn’t
have thought twice about it.’
    ‘But that’s just it - it wasn’t
any other magazine.’
    Gina put her head on one side.
‘OK, let’s get this out in the open. Are you worried that Dex is
dead and has come back to haunt you?’
    Jay shook her head vehemently.
‘No! No! Of course not. But...’ She raised her eyes uncertainly,
‘... I do wonder whether these things are not some kind of message.
I don’t mean from Dex or anything, but...’ She related the
conversation she’d had with Jez after the interview.
    Gina listened without
expression. ‘So, who do you think is sending you these
messages?’
    ‘I don’t know.’
    ‘Do you think Anton snuck into
your flat to plant the magazine, then plagued you with crank
calls?’
    ‘It seems unlikely. Sometimes, I
think that life itself gives us messages. I’m not talking about
supernatural things, but just... I don’t know. Pointers. Signals.
Hunches.’
    ‘I don’t think you should follow
Jez’s story up,’ Gina said, lighting a cigarette. She closed her
lighter with an emphatic snap. ‘It won’t do you any good.’
    Jay sometimes felt uncomfortable
with the proprietorial air Gina had with her, as if she was
incapable of running her own life. At one time, she’d needed
guidance, but now it just seemed patronising. ‘You don’t need to
tell me that. I’m not a kid, Gina. All I wanted was to tell you
about it.’
    Gina softened. ‘Oh, I’m sorry,
honey. I’m not getting at you. I just worry, that’s all.’
    Perhaps she is right to ,
Jay thought. She felt unsafe, and scanned the lunch-time crowds, as
if by checking and re-checking, she could preserve herself somehow.
She took a long gulp of coffee. ‘Anyway, enough about my weird
paranoias. Tell me more about ‘Visa Vixen’. When’s it being
published?’
    Gina’s face lit up. ‘In about
eight month’s time. I can’t wait. We must have big party for
it.’
    ‘Yeah! I hope you’ve got a good
sexy cover photo.’
    ‘You bet.’ Gina reached out and
squeezed Jay’s arm. ‘It’s partly down to you, you know.’
    Jay laughed. ‘Me? How?’
    ‘You encouraged me,’ Gina said,
‘when even Dan thought I was wasting my time. I really appreciate
that, you know.’
    ‘Look, I’m your friend,’ Jay
said. ‘That’s all there is to it. Let’s order a bottle of wine and
toast your success.’
    Later, Jay went home to the
silent apartment. The living room was suspended in the glow of the
afternoon light, a gush of gold falling between the drapes at the
long window in the living-room. Jay took off her jacket and draped
it over the back of a chair. She looked around herself, rubbing her
hands together, resisting the impulse to call out. This is my
home. I am safe here. Shivering, she went through into the
kitchen and filled the kettle with water. There was a strange smell
in there, like burning bread. Dex was always burning toast. He’d
put slices under the