Willie, I was only kidding. Don't you know nothing? Sit down, eat your
supper. Forget I said anything." He took up the butter and started spreading some on his
potatoes.
Willie looked at him and then at me.
I shrugged my shoulders, like what could we do with Zack, and motioned him to sit
down at the table again. "Forget it, Willie. Finish your dinner. I've also got some pie tonight." He
looked at me again. For one horrid moment I thought he was going to question me about David,
then he shrugged and sat back down.
"What kind of pie?" He was so serious it would have made me laugh if I wasn't so
frightened. I showed him the salal berry pie that I'd made in the cool of the morning with berries
I'd picked the day before with David. He tucked into his dinner, a smile on his face.
We finished our meal in silence, but Willie's words had been like a bucket of cold water
thrown onto a forest fire. They didn't put out the flame I felt for David but I was more in control
now. Willie was right.
David was a married man. And I was beginning to suspect I was a pregnant woman. I
felt disaster just around the corner. I was two weeks past my monthly, not usual for me. In
another three weeks I'd know for sure.
10. What Am I Going To Do?
My mind was clear, I must tell David. If I was pregnant I was no more than a month
along. Maybe he would know what to do. Having a baby out-of-wedlock in those days was
unthinkable. Shameful. I was terrified at the possibility.
The day after the argument I went to the beach. I found him near our log. He was happy
to see me and hugged me hard and kissed me right there in the open. I hardly cared. "David,
we've got to talk."
He knew something was very wrong. "Sure, honey, what's the matter?"
We sat on the log and I plunged right in. "I think I'm pregnant."
I certainly didn't expect him to leap up, laughing, and then reach down, grab me and
yell, "Tremendous!" right in my face, but that's what he did.
I was shocked, surprised. "But, David," I tried to say. He didn't hear me.
"Are you sure? Oh, honey. This is wonderful! How far?" At last he was going to listen
to me.
"You act like this is a glorious event. It's not! You're a married man. What's going to
happen to me?" I could feel tears starting but I swallowed them. "David, do you know anyway to
stop it?"
He looked like I had struck him. "You just put that idea out of your head right now. You
could die."
"David, you don't understand. What am I going to do?"
"Do?" He had the simplest explanation of all. "You'll come live with me, of
course."
"With you? And what will Amy think of this fine idea?." I thought he'd gone mad.
Maybe he was "Crazy Smithers" after all.
"Why Amy thinks it's just fine."
"What do you mean Amy thinks it's just fine? She doesn't know about us, does
she?"
He looked bewildered for a minute. "Sure, she knows. I couldn't keep something like
this from her. She's known I love you since last spring, when we planted the roses."
All I could think was that David was off his rocker, and so was his wife.
"Look Sophie, maybe it does sound a little odd, but Amy and I... We don't believe a
wedding band should cut you off from life. No one person can be everything to another. Amy
loves the city, and plays, and crowded smoky rooms full of people. I hate it. So when she leaves
in the summer she does all those things, with men who do enjoy them."
"Does she make love to them, like you do with me?" The whole idea was absurd, but I
couldn't help asking. For a moment I ignored my predicament.
"No, she hasn't. It's just that it's her choice. So far she hasn't met any man she loves but
me. But I'll understand if she does."
"But, David," I was repeating myself. "It's so dangerous. What if she finds someone, and
leaves you?"
"Why ever should she leave me? The core of me is her and the core of her is me. That
will never change. I know that as certainly as I know I love you and you love me. Do you doubt
that I love you?"
"No." I didn't. I was
supper. Forget I said anything." He took up the butter and started spreading some on his
potatoes.
Willie looked at him and then at me.
I shrugged my shoulders, like what could we do with Zack, and motioned him to sit
down at the table again. "Forget it, Willie. Finish your dinner. I've also got some pie tonight." He
looked at me again. For one horrid moment I thought he was going to question me about David,
then he shrugged and sat back down.
"What kind of pie?" He was so serious it would have made me laugh if I wasn't so
frightened. I showed him the salal berry pie that I'd made in the cool of the morning with berries
I'd picked the day before with David. He tucked into his dinner, a smile on his face.
We finished our meal in silence, but Willie's words had been like a bucket of cold water
thrown onto a forest fire. They didn't put out the flame I felt for David but I was more in control
now. Willie was right.
David was a married man. And I was beginning to suspect I was a pregnant woman. I
felt disaster just around the corner. I was two weeks past my monthly, not usual for me. In
another three weeks I'd know for sure.
10. What Am I Going To Do?
My mind was clear, I must tell David. If I was pregnant I was no more than a month
along. Maybe he would know what to do. Having a baby out-of-wedlock in those days was
unthinkable. Shameful. I was terrified at the possibility.
The day after the argument I went to the beach. I found him near our log. He was happy
to see me and hugged me hard and kissed me right there in the open. I hardly cared. "David,
we've got to talk."
He knew something was very wrong. "Sure, honey, what's the matter?"
We sat on the log and I plunged right in. "I think I'm pregnant."
I certainly didn't expect him to leap up, laughing, and then reach down, grab me and
yell, "Tremendous!" right in my face, but that's what he did.
I was shocked, surprised. "But, David," I tried to say. He didn't hear me.
"Are you sure? Oh, honey. This is wonderful! How far?" At last he was going to listen
to me.
"You act like this is a glorious event. It's not! You're a married man. What's going to
happen to me?" I could feel tears starting but I swallowed them. "David, do you know anyway to
stop it?"
He looked like I had struck him. "You just put that idea out of your head right now. You
could die."
"David, you don't understand. What am I going to do?"
"Do?" He had the simplest explanation of all. "You'll come live with me, of
course."
"With you? And what will Amy think of this fine idea?." I thought he'd gone mad.
Maybe he was "Crazy Smithers" after all.
"Why Amy thinks it's just fine."
"What do you mean Amy thinks it's just fine? She doesn't know about us, does
she?"
He looked bewildered for a minute. "Sure, she knows. I couldn't keep something like
this from her. She's known I love you since last spring, when we planted the roses."
All I could think was that David was off his rocker, and so was his wife.
"Look Sophie, maybe it does sound a little odd, but Amy and I... We don't believe a
wedding band should cut you off from life. No one person can be everything to another. Amy
loves the city, and plays, and crowded smoky rooms full of people. I hate it. So when she leaves
in the summer she does all those things, with men who do enjoy them."
"Does she make love to them, like you do with me?" The whole idea was absurd, but I
couldn't help asking. For a moment I ignored my predicament.
"No, she hasn't. It's just that it's her choice. So far she hasn't met any man she loves but
me. But I'll understand if she does."
"But, David," I was repeating myself. "It's so dangerous. What if she finds someone, and
leaves you?"
"Why ever should she leave me? The core of me is her and the core of her is me. That
will never change. I know that as certainly as I know I love you and you love me. Do you doubt
that I love you?"
"No." I didn't. I was
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