Three Simple Steps: A Map to Success in Business and Life by Trevor G Blake Page A
Book: Three Simple Steps: A Map to Success in Business and Life by Trevor G Blake
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Authors: Trevor G Blake
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become an individual again.
Gossip is toxic to our mentality. Every time we allow a complaint into our brains, it triggers a negative thought that has no choice but to return more of what is being complained about to us. If someone bemoans the economy, and you think “I agree with that,” then events will transpire in your life that give you even more reason to moan about it . . . even though you did not initiate the topic and were thinking of something completely different earlier.
Another good exercise is to sit with friends or family and listen to their comments as you all watch a soap opera or reality television show. Almost everything is negative because the shows are designed and written to trigger that reaction. I did this with two relatives once and counted more than a hundred negative statements from them in less than a half hour.
Every criticism is a form of being against . As painful as it is to consider, whatever someone is against comes back like a boomerang to the thrower, which increases exposure to the harmful effects of stress even more. Of course, if you say something positive, that shows up in your life also, but the challenge is that nothing unites people more than a common dislike. Positive people are a rarity and, unfortunately, most successful people must walk a solo path.
If you reached the end of your days, then added up the beneficial vs. harmful thoughts and came out 51 percent to 49 percent in favor of beneficial, you would have lived a grandadventure. Most people, however, would be more than 80 percent negative, and their lives would be a reflection of that. Our aim with this step is just to shift the balance more toward neutral. If you doubt it, spend a day and a night keeping score. Make a note of every positive comment you hear and every negative one. It will shock you.
This is a national and cultural disease in the Western world. We are a society of complainers. I am not complaining about it. I am just stating a fact. I find complainers a source of amusement, and usually tease them mercilessly by reacting completely differently to the way they expect. In a recent comment on this subject in the San Francisco Chronicle , I read:
Our complaining begins to curdle, to turn back on itself, poison the heart, turns us nasty and low. It shifts from merely being a national mood or general temperament into a way of being; a wiring, deep, and harmful, and permanent.
That writer was onto something, because whatever we allow into our minds begins to rewire our neural networks. A recent study, published in Behavioural Brain Research , September 2011, conducted by researchers from the Department of Biological and Clinical Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany, measured the neural effect of negative and positive words versus neutral words. This functional MRI study showed positive vs. negative words led to increased activation in the ventral medial prefrontal cortex, which is associated with risk, fear, and decision-making processes, while negative vs. positive words induced increased activation of the insula, which is thought to impact perception, motor control, self-awareness, cognitive functioning, and interpersonal experience.
In business, I am always looking for the “so what” aspect to everything. Don’t give me facts and features—tell me the benefit is themantra of any successful sales consultation. With these sort of studies, I am often left with a “so what” feeling, like a great film without a conclusion. What does it really mean?
In his book on neuroplasticity, The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science , Norman Doidge, M.D., states plainly that the brain has the capacity to rewire itself and/or form new neural pathways—if we do the work. Just like exercise, the work requires repetition and activity to reinforce new learning.
So complaining repetitively can become a wired thing in your brain, deep and harmful.
Gossip is toxic to our mentality. Every time we allow a complaint into our brains, it triggers a negative thought that has no choice but to return more of what is being complained about to us. If someone bemoans the economy, and you think “I agree with that,” then events will transpire in your life that give you even more reason to moan about it . . . even though you did not initiate the topic and were thinking of something completely different earlier.
Another good exercise is to sit with friends or family and listen to their comments as you all watch a soap opera or reality television show. Almost everything is negative because the shows are designed and written to trigger that reaction. I did this with two relatives once and counted more than a hundred negative statements from them in less than a half hour.
Every criticism is a form of being against . As painful as it is to consider, whatever someone is against comes back like a boomerang to the thrower, which increases exposure to the harmful effects of stress even more. Of course, if you say something positive, that shows up in your life also, but the challenge is that nothing unites people more than a common dislike. Positive people are a rarity and, unfortunately, most successful people must walk a solo path.
If you reached the end of your days, then added up the beneficial vs. harmful thoughts and came out 51 percent to 49 percent in favor of beneficial, you would have lived a grandadventure. Most people, however, would be more than 80 percent negative, and their lives would be a reflection of that. Our aim with this step is just to shift the balance more toward neutral. If you doubt it, spend a day and a night keeping score. Make a note of every positive comment you hear and every negative one. It will shock you.
This is a national and cultural disease in the Western world. We are a society of complainers. I am not complaining about it. I am just stating a fact. I find complainers a source of amusement, and usually tease them mercilessly by reacting completely differently to the way they expect. In a recent comment on this subject in the San Francisco Chronicle , I read:
Our complaining begins to curdle, to turn back on itself, poison the heart, turns us nasty and low. It shifts from merely being a national mood or general temperament into a way of being; a wiring, deep, and harmful, and permanent.
That writer was onto something, because whatever we allow into our minds begins to rewire our neural networks. A recent study, published in Behavioural Brain Research , September 2011, conducted by researchers from the Department of Biological and Clinical Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany, measured the neural effect of negative and positive words versus neutral words. This functional MRI study showed positive vs. negative words led to increased activation in the ventral medial prefrontal cortex, which is associated with risk, fear, and decision-making processes, while negative vs. positive words induced increased activation of the insula, which is thought to impact perception, motor control, self-awareness, cognitive functioning, and interpersonal experience.
In business, I am always looking for the “so what” aspect to everything. Don’t give me facts and features—tell me the benefit is themantra of any successful sales consultation. With these sort of studies, I am often left with a “so what” feeling, like a great film without a conclusion. What does it really mean?
In his book on neuroplasticity, The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science , Norman Doidge, M.D., states plainly that the brain has the capacity to rewire itself and/or form new neural pathways—if we do the work. Just like exercise, the work requires repetition and activity to reinforce new learning.
So complaining repetitively can become a wired thing in your brain, deep and harmful.
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