Tigers on the Beach by Doug MacLeod Page B

him.’
    That night I ring Sam to see if there’s any hope for us after the disastrous thing that happened in the general store. I wonder if Sam is wearing tights and what colour they are. I don’t ask, in case she thinks I’m a tights-pervert.
    â€˜Today was unfortunate,’ I say. ‘Can we just forget it happened? I liked talking with you.’
    â€˜Me too,’ says Sam.
    I get tingles. There is still hope.
    â€˜We should go to a movie,’ Sam suggests.
    I’m being given a second chance. Suddenly the world is a happier place where wildebeests can procreate happily and successfully.
    â€˜You choose the movie,’ I say.
    â€˜There’s a good one on at Flanders,’ says Sam.
    â€˜Great.’
    â€˜It’s pretty sad. You might not like it.’
    â€˜I like sad movies,’ I insist. ‘The sadder the better. I only ever see movies that are sad.’
    â€˜It’s called
Eternal Winter
. Do you want to go this weekend?’
    â€˜I’ll have to make sure I’m not needed here. After all, I’m the assistant manager,’ I say. ‘And the possums might get diarrhoea.’
    There is a pause as Sam wonders if I have lost my mind.
    â€˜I’ll email you the session times,’ says Sam. ‘I should go now. I need to practise.’
    â€˜I haven’t heard you play your flute yet,’ I say.
    â€˜You will. But I’m no James Galway.’
    â€˜That’s okay. Neither am I.’
    Later that night in the darkness, Xander is lying in bed doing Sir David Attenborough impersonations about the miracle of migrating underpants.
    â€˜Xander, go to sleep,’ I say.
    â€˜Why?’
    â€˜Because it’s late and I have to start work early.’
    â€˜But I’m being funny.’
    â€˜Underpants are only funny for a little while, not for half an hour.’
    Something lands on my face and startles me. For a moment I think it might be a giant moth. I brush it away then realise it isn’t a moth at all.
    â€˜I am going to murder you,’ I say to Xander, tossing the thing back at him. ‘I am really going to murder you for throwing your underpants at me.’
    â€˜I didn’t,’ says Xander. ‘They migrated.’
    He laughs loudly. I toss the pants aside then lie back and think about next time I see Sam. I could really use the world’s funniest joke that makes people fall in love with you, but Grandpa died before he could tell it to me. I feel guilty for wishing Grandpa could be alive just to tell me a joke.
    There is a loud bang as something lands on the roof.
    â€˜The Martians have landed,’ says Xander.
    â€˜With any luck they will abduct you,’ I say.
    Xander and I pull on our shorts and run outside to see what caused the noise. Grandma is in her dressing gown, throwing stones at something neither of us can see.
    â€˜Go away!’ she yells.
    Holiday-makers are calling out to her to be quiet.
    â€˜Go away, you wretched possums!’ she yells.
    Mum appears, wearing her tracksuit. She has a quick word with Grandma, who drops a stone to the ground.
    â€˜I’m very sorry about this,’ says Mum, to the disturbed holiday-makers. ‘Everything is under control.’
    On the second night of her stay, Grandma again throws stones and swears at the possums. Some of the guests wake up and swear at
her
. I think I’d prefer Martians. Mum appears and gently directs Grandma back to her cabin. The guests retreat and close their doors. Dad watches, shaking his head. I have never seen a more troubled look on Dad’s face, which is bad for someone who works in the hospitality business.

Saturday comes. Sam and I have arranged to see
Eternal Winter
. I’d prefer to see a movie with special effects, but I don’t mind, provided Sam and I get to hold hands again. We may even have our first proper kiss. I think about this as I help to prepare the breakfasts with Mum and