To Kiss in the Shadows by Lynn Kurland Page B

choked, even to her ears. “I don’t know how I can repay you for your aid.”
    He said nothing.
    She could not bear to look at him to see how he reacted to her words. All she could do was pull her hand free of his and turn more fully away from him.
    â€œI daresay I’m well enough now. You needn’t stay any longer. Surely a servant can tend me.”
    He was silent. Indeed, he was silent for so long, she wondered if he were struggling to master his disgust before he quit the chamber. But she heard no movement. In truth, she could hear nothing but shame pounding in her ears. How bold she had been! More the fool was she.
    Then he cleared his throat. “Do you, my lady, know of my former master?”
    She frowned. Why ask such a foolish question? Who didn’t know of him? Christopher of Blackmour had the very blackest of reputations, full of violence and evil. He could change his shape, weave foul spells, do all manner of things she had never wanted to hear about after the sun went down. He was a dragon who caught unwary travelers in his claws when he wasn’t loping over his land in the shape of a ferocious wolf, devouring all who dared set foot on his soil.
    And Jason of Artane had been his squire.
    The saints only knew what he had learned at his master’s knee.
    â€œAye,” she managed finally. “I know of him.”
    â€œWell, if you knew him as I do, then you would judge me differently,” he said.
    She could only imagine how.
    â€œNow, I will go, if you wish it, but I will not go unless you look me in the face and tell me to.”
    Ah, what kind of man was he to be so cruel? Had Blackmour taught him that as well? She could only shake her head in misery.
    He was silent for a goodly while, then spoke again.
    â€œWhy do you hide your face?” he asked gently.
    â€œWhy do you think?” she cried out, then bit her tongue.
    â€œDo you think me so poor a man as that?” he asked quietly. “So weak-minded? So vain? So hollow in my character that I look only for perfection? Obviously, you have confused me with my brother.”
    She couldn’t stop a smile at that, but neither could she face him.
    â€œIf you knew my master as I do, you would realize that he made me into a man who judges not by the sight of his eyes, but rather one who has learned to look deeper and trust what his heart tells him. Now, you do not know me, and you have unfortunately passed already too much time with my cocksure sibling and must, therefore, be permitted a bit of doubt about my character given what you’ve seen of his. I must tell you, though, that I cannot leave—nay, I will not leave—until you look me full in the face and tell me to go.”
    It was the hardest thing she had ever done. Indeed, it took more courage than facing the king’s company at dinner. It took more courage than passing hours in a solar, closeted with women who loathed her. It took almost as much courage as it had taken to press on after her parents had died. Indeed, she suspected it might require more, for ’twas not her past that she faced.
    It was her future.
    She couldn’t have said why that thought had come to her, but the truth of it burned within her breast. It was the same feeling that had fair set her on fire the first time she’d heard Jason’s voice in her ear. It was the feeling that she was facing her destiny.
    If she could face him, that is.
    So she took a deep breath, brushed the hair back from her face, and turned to look at him.
    She couldn’t see him, of course. Her eyes were too full of tears.
    â€œStay or go?” he asked neutrally.
    Ah, but that was too much to ask. How could she bid him stay when it might be against his will? She shook her head.
    â€œThat was unfair, I suppose,” he conceded. “Let me ask it thusly: I wish to stay, though perhaps you might wish me to leave and at least change the clothes I’ve been wearing for the