went on. I climbed up a rock, then another, until I reached the top. Lights. Pretty. I lifted my hands out, closing my eyes and just feeling the wind, a little stronger on the higher platform. I shivered a little from the breeze. Oh, that was one thing I’d forgotten, that I usually wore a jacket before going out, because at night-time, it was chilly. The thought saddened me. What else had I forgotten, had I abandoned by choice?
Arms wrapped around my shoulders, and I gasped in surprise. “It’s cold out here, and you’ve had something to drink. Let’s head back,” he said, his voice rough. How can he be so practical, so reasonable? It made me want to rebel against it.
“I haven’t been here for years,” I argued. “When you live here, you almost forget how beautiful it is, and you just… You just stop going all the time. You barely even realize what the place looks like. Then it just becomes another picture, another wallpaper.” I put my hands out in a frame sign, on the area where there was an abundance of greenery and squinted my eyes. Then I looked back at him, to make sure he was still listening, and found that his eyes were on me. Of course he was. He was the type of person, who, if he cared about you, showed it when he gave you his full attention.
“You’re scared you’ll let that that happen.”
I sighed, and raked a hand across my hair. “I’m scared it already is.”
"If something's important to you, you do your best to hold on. That's all there is to it."
Reasonable, calm, logical. How can someone be so sure?
"It's not that simple," I said, digging my heels absently.
"Then maybe you're complicating it."
Did he have to make it sound like my fault? I looked at him, about to say it, then shut my mouth. Ah, to hell with courtesy. "You're an ass."
"Thank you," he replied dryly.
After a minute of silence, just gazing up at the stars quietly, I said, "Sometimes, when you hold on, you develop expectations. Expectations suck."
"Yeah, they do."
I had a feeling we weren't talking about this place anymore.
It was so easy to close my eyes right now, just standing next to him and pretending that two years hadn't passed. Being with him was as natural as breathing, and somehow within the past couple of days, it was as if a barrier between us dissolved.
It was so easy being with him. So right.
And the way it ended had been so swift, it made my heart hurt just thinking about it.
I had him, and then I lost him. Just like that. Why couldn't we move past that?
The simple answer was I didn't know how, or where to begin. What do I say? Did he even care?
But the silence was deafening, cutting me deeper than his words ever did.
"I'm sorry," I said softly, but he'd heard.
My hands gripped the cool railing tightly, as if it was a source of strength. "I realize I never told you that, but I am. Completely."
"I am too."
It said everything, but it didn't at all. But somehow, it eased a weight inside me. And just like that, we stood in silence as we gazed at the stars, burning brightly.
Chapter Nine
My story
A s I was getting ready to go for my run, my phone rang. Who the caller was surprised the hell out of me.
“Going for a run?” Somehow, it didn’t surprise me that it was the first thing Chase said to me this early in the morning.
“Yep.” I was putting on another shoe.
“Haley coming with you?” he promptly asked.
“Umm.” Haley was home late last night, and as a nurse, she was scheduled for a night shift today. She needed sleep, and I didn’t want to wake her to run with me. But if I said that, then he’d–
“Be there in ten.”
The line clicked.
I still stood there, cursing at the line, even moments after the call ended.
I tried to process what had just happened.
Chase was coming with me. To run .
He wasn’t even supposed to be up at this time. It was virtually unheard of.
I spooned some peanut butter and decided if he wasn’t going to come here in ten, I was going ahead
Arms wrapped around my shoulders, and I gasped in surprise. “It’s cold out here, and you’ve had something to drink. Let’s head back,” he said, his voice rough. How can he be so practical, so reasonable? It made me want to rebel against it.
“I haven’t been here for years,” I argued. “When you live here, you almost forget how beautiful it is, and you just… You just stop going all the time. You barely even realize what the place looks like. Then it just becomes another picture, another wallpaper.” I put my hands out in a frame sign, on the area where there was an abundance of greenery and squinted my eyes. Then I looked back at him, to make sure he was still listening, and found that his eyes were on me. Of course he was. He was the type of person, who, if he cared about you, showed it when he gave you his full attention.
“You’re scared you’ll let that that happen.”
I sighed, and raked a hand across my hair. “I’m scared it already is.”
"If something's important to you, you do your best to hold on. That's all there is to it."
Reasonable, calm, logical. How can someone be so sure?
"It's not that simple," I said, digging my heels absently.
"Then maybe you're complicating it."
Did he have to make it sound like my fault? I looked at him, about to say it, then shut my mouth. Ah, to hell with courtesy. "You're an ass."
"Thank you," he replied dryly.
After a minute of silence, just gazing up at the stars quietly, I said, "Sometimes, when you hold on, you develop expectations. Expectations suck."
"Yeah, they do."
I had a feeling we weren't talking about this place anymore.
It was so easy to close my eyes right now, just standing next to him and pretending that two years hadn't passed. Being with him was as natural as breathing, and somehow within the past couple of days, it was as if a barrier between us dissolved.
It was so easy being with him. So right.
And the way it ended had been so swift, it made my heart hurt just thinking about it.
I had him, and then I lost him. Just like that. Why couldn't we move past that?
The simple answer was I didn't know how, or where to begin. What do I say? Did he even care?
But the silence was deafening, cutting me deeper than his words ever did.
"I'm sorry," I said softly, but he'd heard.
My hands gripped the cool railing tightly, as if it was a source of strength. "I realize I never told you that, but I am. Completely."
"I am too."
It said everything, but it didn't at all. But somehow, it eased a weight inside me. And just like that, we stood in silence as we gazed at the stars, burning brightly.
Chapter Nine
My story
A s I was getting ready to go for my run, my phone rang. Who the caller was surprised the hell out of me.
“Going for a run?” Somehow, it didn’t surprise me that it was the first thing Chase said to me this early in the morning.
“Yep.” I was putting on another shoe.
“Haley coming with you?” he promptly asked.
“Umm.” Haley was home late last night, and as a nurse, she was scheduled for a night shift today. She needed sleep, and I didn’t want to wake her to run with me. But if I said that, then he’d–
“Be there in ten.”
The line clicked.
I still stood there, cursing at the line, even moments after the call ended.
I tried to process what had just happened.
Chase was coming with me. To run .
He wasn’t even supposed to be up at this time. It was virtually unheard of.
I spooned some peanut butter and decided if he wasn’t going to come here in ten, I was going ahead
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