Try a Little Tenderness by Joan Jonker Page A

lost interest meself. I thought it was funny when I first heard it, but now it’s as stale as this piece of bread.’ When Mary’s mouth opened to protest, Amy raised her hand. ‘Only kidding, girl, don’t get yer knickers in a twist. I’ll tell yer quick, then we can talk about me plans for Christmas.’ She finished the last of the toast and licked her fingers. ‘Sammy Cooper staggered home last night, dead drunk. And Aggie did no more than hit him over the head with a rolling pin. I believe he’s gone to work this morning with a lump on his head as big as an egg.’ Amy’s tummy rumbled with laughter. ‘The part that tickled me was, he couldn’t remember anything and asked Aggie ifhe’d fallen out of bed. She told him she didn’t know because she was sound asleep, but if he had fallen he must have picked himself up again because she certainly didn’t.’
    ‘Ah, she shouldn’t have done that, the poor man hardly ever goes out. She’s twice the size of him, too, she could have killed him.’
    ‘Don’t worry, she won’t do it again. Frightened the life out of herself, she did. And to make it up to him, she’s giving him his favourite meal – liver and onions. The silly cow doesn’t realise he’ll twig something’s up. He’ll be sitting at the table wondering how he came by this ruddy big lump, and she’ll put a plate of liver and onions in front of him. That’s never been known on a Tuesday night before, so he’s bound to put two and two together. And if he does we can expect to see Aggie with a black eye tomorrow.’ Amy rested her elbows on the table. ‘Now that’s out of the way, let’s get down to business. How about us having a party on Christmas night? We could go halfy-halfy with the food and it wouldn’t cost that much. We’ve never had a real knees-up, jars out party, on account of the kids. But they’re old enough now, so let’s have a bit of fun and enjoy ourselves.’
    ‘I won’t have any money to spare, Amy, I’ve only got what’s in me clubs.’
    ‘That’s all yer’d need, girl! We could do some turkey sandwiches, make a jelly and blancmange and bake some fairy cakes. Yer don’t need a lot of food to enjoy yerself, just some good company.’
    Mary’s face lit up. ‘Yeah, ye’re right, sunshine, let’s go for it. We’ll share what we’ve got and I’ll give yer a hand with the table and everything.’
    Amy curled a fist and rested her chin on it. ‘How d’yer mean, girl, yer’ll give me a hand? I thought we were having the party here?’
    Mary gasped. ‘Amy Hanley, even by your standards, that’s barefaced cheek, that is. It was your idea to have a party, I wouldn’t have thought of it.’‘Ah well, yer see, girl, the idea was my contribution to the party. Your contribution is to have the jollification in your house. Now yer can’t say that’s not fair, can yer? Without me, there wouldn’t have been no party.’
    ‘I’m speechless! Why can’t we have it in your house? They’re exactly the same size, it’s not as though I’ve got more room.’
    ‘No, yer haven’t got more room, girl, I’ll grant yer that. What yer have got, though, is more nous. Ye’re very good at arranging things, doing them proper, like.’
    ‘Don’t you be buttering me up, Amy Hanley, I know when I’m being taken for a sucker. How soft you are! Let’s have a knees-up, jars out party, yer said. Let’s have some fun and enjoy ourselves. And soft girl here fell for it! I must want me bumps feeling for listening to yer.’
    Her face as innocent as a baby’s, Amy asked, ‘So it’s all settled, is it, girl? Christmas night at the Nightingales’? Ay, hasn’t that got a nice ring to it? Christmas night at the Nightingales’. It sounds proper posh. Just wait until I tell my Ben he’s been invited to a party, he’ll be over the moon. I’ll have to make sure I get his suit out of the pawnshop so he’ll look the part.’
    ‘Just hang on a minute, sunshine! I don’t