nice of him. And then he carried out the trash, and I—I just kissed him to thank him, and then we were
kissing.
”
“Just kissing?”
Lily ducked her head.
Sierra sighed. “I’m supposed to tell you this is a terrible idea. I’m supposed to tell you you need to stay focused.”
“I know. It’s a terrible idea. I’m supposed to stay focused.” Lily recited it like a robot. “It was stupid, okay? But the thing is, it was also—amazing.”
He was rough
.
I liked it.
She wouldn’t say that, not even to Sierra, who knew the skeleton of Lily’s story with Fallon—dumpage, humiliation—but not the sordid details.
“He’s who you were looking for this morning.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah.”
“Have you seen him, since last Friday?”
“No. And—”
“And that bums you out more than you thought it would,” Sierra observed, her eyes warm with sympathy.
Tears pricked Lily’s eyes as she nodded.
“Do you know
anything
about him?”
“I think he’s a law student. He was reading some hard-core textbook. And he’s friends with that guy Reg went fishing with last weekend. With the frizzy gray hair and beard.”
“Grant?”
“Yeah.”
“That makes sense. Grant’s a lawyer. Grant used to be married to Jeannie.”
“
Really?
” Jeannie was one of Tierney Bay’s two dentists, and Sierra, who was a dental hygienist, worked for her.
“Yeah. She left because he was a workaholic. But if you know both of them you have to kind of wonder. Jeannie’s such a dominatrix and Grant’s so mild, I think there has to be more to the story. Anyway, Grant’s a good guy,” Sierra said. “So this guy is friends with Grant? I’ll ask Reg to ask Grant about him.”
“Really? Are we in seventh grade?”
“Just to, you know, make sure he’s on the up-and-up.”
“I think it’s moot. Not so much as a peep out of him, since—he hasn’t even come into the diner.”
Sierra sighed. “Maybe it’s for the best. You’re not going to be here long, anyway.”
Of course it was for the best. Lily knew
that
perfectly well. And if she told Sierra more about the “kissing” she’d done with Kincaid, that would only reinforce Sierra’s conviction. Because she’d told Sierra she’d sworn off sex, vanilla or otherwise.
Which theoretically should also include stand-up groping to orgasm with near-strangers in alleyways, of course.
One. Two. Three.
“Lily?” Sierra asked.
She’d been a million miles away, in that alley, deep in joy.
“I’m okay,” she said, but she wasn’t, exactly. She’d been so hopeful, in the alley. That was what she had to admit to herself. When he’d grabbed her wrists, she’d thought,
Yes.
She’d felt, for only the second time in her life, like
herself,
deep in that unfolding part of her that was freed by being confined.
But then he’d disappeared, too.
Maybe it wouldn’t have made any difference at all if he’d showed up in the diner and smiled at her. Maybe it would have felt like just crumbs. But she thought it might have helped. His disappearing felt too much like judgment.
It felt like Fallon.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said, to an imaginary Fallon. To Sierra, who looked unconvinced.
To herself.
“It’s not going to happen again.”
Chapter 7
Kincaid knelt in the thick layer of needles. He was working today on a long road that snaked along the bluffs, close enough to the Pacific that although he couldn’t see it from here, he could hear its roar. There were three or four houses planted at intervals. He didn’t know the owners, only that they were rich Californians, come north to get more bang for their buck and to escape the creep of Silicon Valley.
The Oregon coast was a strange beast, with towns poor as dirt and rich as sin strung out all along it. Tierney Bay had once upon a time been a well-known tourist destination, but about fifty years ago Cannon Beach had stolen its thunder, and Tierney Bay had slowly dried up until there was not
kissing.
”
“Just kissing?”
Lily ducked her head.
Sierra sighed. “I’m supposed to tell you this is a terrible idea. I’m supposed to tell you you need to stay focused.”
“I know. It’s a terrible idea. I’m supposed to stay focused.” Lily recited it like a robot. “It was stupid, okay? But the thing is, it was also—amazing.”
He was rough
.
I liked it.
She wouldn’t say that, not even to Sierra, who knew the skeleton of Lily’s story with Fallon—dumpage, humiliation—but not the sordid details.
“He’s who you were looking for this morning.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah.”
“Have you seen him, since last Friday?”
“No. And—”
“And that bums you out more than you thought it would,” Sierra observed, her eyes warm with sympathy.
Tears pricked Lily’s eyes as she nodded.
“Do you know
anything
about him?”
“I think he’s a law student. He was reading some hard-core textbook. And he’s friends with that guy Reg went fishing with last weekend. With the frizzy gray hair and beard.”
“Grant?”
“Yeah.”
“That makes sense. Grant’s a lawyer. Grant used to be married to Jeannie.”
“
Really?
” Jeannie was one of Tierney Bay’s two dentists, and Sierra, who was a dental hygienist, worked for her.
“Yeah. She left because he was a workaholic. But if you know both of them you have to kind of wonder. Jeannie’s such a dominatrix and Grant’s so mild, I think there has to be more to the story. Anyway, Grant’s a good guy,” Sierra said. “So this guy is friends with Grant? I’ll ask Reg to ask Grant about him.”
“Really? Are we in seventh grade?”
“Just to, you know, make sure he’s on the up-and-up.”
“I think it’s moot. Not so much as a peep out of him, since—he hasn’t even come into the diner.”
Sierra sighed. “Maybe it’s for the best. You’re not going to be here long, anyway.”
Of course it was for the best. Lily knew
that
perfectly well. And if she told Sierra more about the “kissing” she’d done with Kincaid, that would only reinforce Sierra’s conviction. Because she’d told Sierra she’d sworn off sex, vanilla or otherwise.
Which theoretically should also include stand-up groping to orgasm with near-strangers in alleyways, of course.
One. Two. Three.
“Lily?” Sierra asked.
She’d been a million miles away, in that alley, deep in joy.
“I’m okay,” she said, but she wasn’t, exactly. She’d been so hopeful, in the alley. That was what she had to admit to herself. When he’d grabbed her wrists, she’d thought,
Yes.
She’d felt, for only the second time in her life, like
herself,
deep in that unfolding part of her that was freed by being confined.
But then he’d disappeared, too.
Maybe it wouldn’t have made any difference at all if he’d showed up in the diner and smiled at her. Maybe it would have felt like just crumbs. But she thought it might have helped. His disappearing felt too much like judgment.
It felt like Fallon.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said, to an imaginary Fallon. To Sierra, who looked unconvinced.
To herself.
“It’s not going to happen again.”
Chapter 7
Kincaid knelt in the thick layer of needles. He was working today on a long road that snaked along the bluffs, close enough to the Pacific that although he couldn’t see it from here, he could hear its roar. There were three or four houses planted at intervals. He didn’t know the owners, only that they were rich Californians, come north to get more bang for their buck and to escape the creep of Silicon Valley.
The Oregon coast was a strange beast, with towns poor as dirt and rich as sin strung out all along it. Tierney Bay had once upon a time been a well-known tourist destination, but about fifty years ago Cannon Beach had stolen its thunder, and Tierney Bay had slowly dried up until there was not
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