work.
“Shut up, I give great advice and you know it. Now, can I continue?” Laughing, I nod. “I’m not telling you to go cheat on Kristin; I actually like her a lot and think she’s a good fit for you. I do, however, think you should be friends with Lilly -- get to know her and see if she is the person you remember.”
“And if she is?” I don’t know why I ask. I know what his answer is going to be.
“If she is, then you need to break things off with Kristin. It’s one thing to be friends with someone, but if, or once those lines start to get blurred, you need to walk away. It’s not fair to either of them. If anything, you will make a friend out of it all.”
Ending the topic, we drink and watch the games on television. Lucas is talking about the games and I just nod when appropriate. I have so much shit going through my head right now, I can’t focus on a game. I need to work something out and soon, because I can’t have this affecting me at work. My job is way too important to me and it needs my full attention. Lucas relies on me to watch his six and I can’t do that distracted. There are plenty of officers who would kill to have a position as a detective and I’m not going to let my personal life affect that. I’m going to go back to work, do my job, and on my next day off, I’m going to talk to Lilly and see if we can be friends.
Chapter 9
Lilly
It’s been a couple of days since I ran out on my lunch with Silas. And although they’ve been peaceful, I find myself missing him. Isn’t that something? I’m back to where I was three years ago. Although I’m thankful for the busy schedule we have this week, that also means I won’t have any time to write. I’m taking Ezra to the zoo this weekend with Joe and Laura, so my writing will just have to wait. I see Joe heading in with our coffees; he places mine on my desk.
“Hey, Lil, so I never got to ask, but how was the signing?” He takes a seat at my desk.
“It was a disaster; I actually have been meaning to talk to you and Laura about it.”
“How so?” He’s rubbing the stubble on his chin. It’s something he does when he’s really interested in something. I wonder if he knows that?
I turn the phone system on before telling Joe what happened this weekend. He knows all about Silas, and I know he is going to have questions. I would rather get them out of the way now than have this dragged out. I’m so tired of talking about it, but maybe he will have some advice on how to handle the situation.
“So you took off after lunch and that was it? You haven’t seen or heard from him since?”
I lower my head to avoid his shocked stare. Instead, I focus on the paper on my desk. “Nope, nothing. I ran out without getting his contact information. How could he contact me?”
“You seem kind of disappointed about that.”
Looking back up at Joe, I let out a heavy sigh. “In a way, I am.”
“Why?” I’m a little envious of him and his ability to act like this whole situation is no big deal.
“For one, there’s Ezra. How am I supposed to keep Silas in my life and have him not find out about our son? God forbid he meets Ezra and decides parenting just isn’t for him. And what about his girlfriend? I’m not a home wrecker, and I’m scared my feelings will make me too attached and give me false hope that he will eventually leave her. This is just scratching the top of the surface of all my what-ifs.” I lean back in my chair, letting out an exasperated sigh. All of this is so stressful; I don’t know how much more my sanity can take. My hands fly up to my head, cradling it to stop the pain that will find its way to the front of my scalp. I rub my temples to calm myself. I need to slow down before I have a panic attack.
“I don’t think you should tell him about Ezra.” I stiffen in my chair; my head flips up to meet his gaze. He is serious. I’m pretty sure my mouth is hanging open right now. I’m completely
“Shut up, I give great advice and you know it. Now, can I continue?” Laughing, I nod. “I’m not telling you to go cheat on Kristin; I actually like her a lot and think she’s a good fit for you. I do, however, think you should be friends with Lilly -- get to know her and see if she is the person you remember.”
“And if she is?” I don’t know why I ask. I know what his answer is going to be.
“If she is, then you need to break things off with Kristin. It’s one thing to be friends with someone, but if, or once those lines start to get blurred, you need to walk away. It’s not fair to either of them. If anything, you will make a friend out of it all.”
Ending the topic, we drink and watch the games on television. Lucas is talking about the games and I just nod when appropriate. I have so much shit going through my head right now, I can’t focus on a game. I need to work something out and soon, because I can’t have this affecting me at work. My job is way too important to me and it needs my full attention. Lucas relies on me to watch his six and I can’t do that distracted. There are plenty of officers who would kill to have a position as a detective and I’m not going to let my personal life affect that. I’m going to go back to work, do my job, and on my next day off, I’m going to talk to Lilly and see if we can be friends.
Chapter 9
Lilly
It’s been a couple of days since I ran out on my lunch with Silas. And although they’ve been peaceful, I find myself missing him. Isn’t that something? I’m back to where I was three years ago. Although I’m thankful for the busy schedule we have this week, that also means I won’t have any time to write. I’m taking Ezra to the zoo this weekend with Joe and Laura, so my writing will just have to wait. I see Joe heading in with our coffees; he places mine on my desk.
“Hey, Lil, so I never got to ask, but how was the signing?” He takes a seat at my desk.
“It was a disaster; I actually have been meaning to talk to you and Laura about it.”
“How so?” He’s rubbing the stubble on his chin. It’s something he does when he’s really interested in something. I wonder if he knows that?
I turn the phone system on before telling Joe what happened this weekend. He knows all about Silas, and I know he is going to have questions. I would rather get them out of the way now than have this dragged out. I’m so tired of talking about it, but maybe he will have some advice on how to handle the situation.
“So you took off after lunch and that was it? You haven’t seen or heard from him since?”
I lower my head to avoid his shocked stare. Instead, I focus on the paper on my desk. “Nope, nothing. I ran out without getting his contact information. How could he contact me?”
“You seem kind of disappointed about that.”
Looking back up at Joe, I let out a heavy sigh. “In a way, I am.”
“Why?” I’m a little envious of him and his ability to act like this whole situation is no big deal.
“For one, there’s Ezra. How am I supposed to keep Silas in my life and have him not find out about our son? God forbid he meets Ezra and decides parenting just isn’t for him. And what about his girlfriend? I’m not a home wrecker, and I’m scared my feelings will make me too attached and give me false hope that he will eventually leave her. This is just scratching the top of the surface of all my what-ifs.” I lean back in my chair, letting out an exasperated sigh. All of this is so stressful; I don’t know how much more my sanity can take. My hands fly up to my head, cradling it to stop the pain that will find its way to the front of my scalp. I rub my temples to calm myself. I need to slow down before I have a panic attack.
“I don’t think you should tell him about Ezra.” I stiffen in my chair; my head flips up to meet his gaze. He is serious. I’m pretty sure my mouth is hanging open right now. I’m completely
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