of my nickname. Coming here seems to have the opposite effect I was looking for. This was supposed to be my chance to get away, to start over, to put as much distance between Jim and me as possible. To move on.
I'm not. I'm scared of the attraction I have for the most beautiful man I've ever met. I'm scared that he seems attracted to me. I'm dwelling too much on the past.
I want to fix it. I really do. I want to return to the woman I once was. The one that enjoyed socializing, and dressing up for Halloween, and drinking with friends, and working out, and trying out that pottery class. Not this bitter, angry, shy, sullen woman I've become. I'm tired of thinking about what I've lost, about how I lost it, how I failed it. But I can't stop. I don't know what the solution is.
A hot affair? With Trey?
A man is what caused all this nonsense. A man isn't going to fix it.
So when my boss comes to me on Monday with what might be the second distraction I need, I'm ready. The project manager isn't returning to Site J for undisclosed reasons and Conrad is demanding to be relieved. They've hired another manager, but it'll be a few weeks before he arrives. Since the project is on Critical Path, they can't delay it.
I accept. A break from the compound and maybe a chance to get my thoughts in order, focus entirely on work, avoid the security team… Count me in.
Not even two days later I'm heading toward a huge, tan military helicopter parked on a concrete landing pad at the far end of our compound. It honestly doesn't occur to me that I won't be traveling alone until Trey climbs into the chopper with me.
The air bails from my lungs. He nods to me and all I can do is stare at him. My eyebrows strain to meet even as I try to keep my face neutral.
This isn't how it's supposed to go. Leaving the compound is supposed to take me away from temptation. Not throw me into a pool of it.
"Relax, Andrea," he shouts. I can barely hear him, but the words are clear. "I'm not going to bite."
I blink. "I know," I say, my voice echoing strangely in my head. "I'm just—" I'm pretty sure I somehow swallowed a baseball. "I'm nervous about the helicopter," I add. Which is true. But I'm more nervous about Trey.
"Don't be. You're in good hands." He slips on a pair of headphones similar to the ones squishing my ears under inches of thick padding and then reaches for me. I flinch as he grabs the safety harness keeping me firmly in my seat and tests its tightness. His brow pushes together as he tightens a strap.
I immediately turn my attention out the window as he buckles himself in. I feel like an idiot. So, he might have wanted to kiss me after I led him to believe that's what I wanted. That doesn’t give me the right to treat him like some sort of predator.
Besides, how arrogant am I to assume he's still interested? Like I hold that kind of appeal…
I keep my gaze locked on the window as the helicopter lurches up and my stomach stays behind on the ground. That familiar feeling of panic begins to spread through my veins. Helicopters crash all the time. And we're about to fly over enemy territory. Where there are groups of people who would love to shoot down an American vessel. Enemies who probably have anti-aircraft guns pointed toward the sky just in case. And today will be their lucky day.
A hand touches my arm. I peel my gaze from where it's plastered to the window and turn. Trey wears a reassuring smile. Don't worry, he mouths. Trust me.
It isn't him I don't trust. Okay maybe it is, but I trust him with this.
I nod. He squeezes my arm before turning his attention to the ground below.
My idiot factor shoots up another twenty points. I wish I could blink three times and erase all the doubt, the distrust, the pain… I can't. I need to find a way to change it.
I follow Trey's lead. The ground whizzes past below us. Brown, lifeless, flat. It isn't long before jagged rocks begin jutting up from the ground like stalagmites rising from a cave
I'm not. I'm scared of the attraction I have for the most beautiful man I've ever met. I'm scared that he seems attracted to me. I'm dwelling too much on the past.
I want to fix it. I really do. I want to return to the woman I once was. The one that enjoyed socializing, and dressing up for Halloween, and drinking with friends, and working out, and trying out that pottery class. Not this bitter, angry, shy, sullen woman I've become. I'm tired of thinking about what I've lost, about how I lost it, how I failed it. But I can't stop. I don't know what the solution is.
A hot affair? With Trey?
A man is what caused all this nonsense. A man isn't going to fix it.
So when my boss comes to me on Monday with what might be the second distraction I need, I'm ready. The project manager isn't returning to Site J for undisclosed reasons and Conrad is demanding to be relieved. They've hired another manager, but it'll be a few weeks before he arrives. Since the project is on Critical Path, they can't delay it.
I accept. A break from the compound and maybe a chance to get my thoughts in order, focus entirely on work, avoid the security team… Count me in.
Not even two days later I'm heading toward a huge, tan military helicopter parked on a concrete landing pad at the far end of our compound. It honestly doesn't occur to me that I won't be traveling alone until Trey climbs into the chopper with me.
The air bails from my lungs. He nods to me and all I can do is stare at him. My eyebrows strain to meet even as I try to keep my face neutral.
This isn't how it's supposed to go. Leaving the compound is supposed to take me away from temptation. Not throw me into a pool of it.
"Relax, Andrea," he shouts. I can barely hear him, but the words are clear. "I'm not going to bite."
I blink. "I know," I say, my voice echoing strangely in my head. "I'm just—" I'm pretty sure I somehow swallowed a baseball. "I'm nervous about the helicopter," I add. Which is true. But I'm more nervous about Trey.
"Don't be. You're in good hands." He slips on a pair of headphones similar to the ones squishing my ears under inches of thick padding and then reaches for me. I flinch as he grabs the safety harness keeping me firmly in my seat and tests its tightness. His brow pushes together as he tightens a strap.
I immediately turn my attention out the window as he buckles himself in. I feel like an idiot. So, he might have wanted to kiss me after I led him to believe that's what I wanted. That doesn’t give me the right to treat him like some sort of predator.
Besides, how arrogant am I to assume he's still interested? Like I hold that kind of appeal…
I keep my gaze locked on the window as the helicopter lurches up and my stomach stays behind on the ground. That familiar feeling of panic begins to spread through my veins. Helicopters crash all the time. And we're about to fly over enemy territory. Where there are groups of people who would love to shoot down an American vessel. Enemies who probably have anti-aircraft guns pointed toward the sky just in case. And today will be their lucky day.
A hand touches my arm. I peel my gaze from where it's plastered to the window and turn. Trey wears a reassuring smile. Don't worry, he mouths. Trust me.
It isn't him I don't trust. Okay maybe it is, but I trust him with this.
I nod. He squeezes my arm before turning his attention to the ground below.
My idiot factor shoots up another twenty points. I wish I could blink three times and erase all the doubt, the distrust, the pain… I can't. I need to find a way to change it.
I follow Trey's lead. The ground whizzes past below us. Brown, lifeless, flat. It isn't long before jagged rocks begin jutting up from the ground like stalagmites rising from a cave
Similar Books
