on where we were, sometimes I’d cover her mouth firm with
my hand, keeping her quiet. Lots of times that made it even hotter,
her eyes wide when she started to come, then closing in complete
surrender.
I always marveled over
it, how they lost themselves. Like they forgot everything, where they
were, who they were with, maybe even their own names. They always
came hard, though sometimes it was after a slow and steady build-up,
coaxing it out of them. Sometimes it was fast and dirty, them
grabbing my fingers and shoving them up inside like they’d been
dreaming about it all night.
I always came, too,
don’t get me wrong. And I definitely enjoyed it. But it wasn’t as
if I ever forgot my name. My mind was always going, always on,
churning through what was before me, what was past, what was ahead. I
never forgot myself.
And tonight, I felt
restless, more restless than usual. Even after a few beers, my mind
burned with a fever.
I wondered about a girl
like Kara. Had she ever been in a place like this? I doubted it.
She’d probably get real freaked out in a seedy bar. Confused and
maybe even scared, she’d demand whatever sad sack of a guy she came
in with take her home at once. Harlan and I were of one mind: Kara
was off the menu. That girl was trouble with a capital T.
I saw some girls
milling around in the dimly-lit haze, their eyes on me like circling
sharks. Soon, one of them would work up the courage to come over to
me. I liked them easy, and filtering out the shy, reserved ones in
favor of the ones bold and horny enough to come to me worked that out
real nice. It also decreased the likelihood of some dumb shit of a
boyfriend entering the scene while I was over hitting on his girl. I
didn’t need to add any more drunken bar brawls to my name. I’d
fought and won my fair share, no need to prove myself on that score.
Now wasn’t the time to get in trouble. I didn’t need Johnny law
in this two-bit town circling my name on his list. Now was the time
to turn my shit around, get my plane in the air and fly straight up
and out.
I wanted someone free,
ripe and ready. The kind of girl who’d come up to me, serve herself
up on a platter. She’d probably say something stupid and touch my
tattoo, following the patterned band up my muscles.
I could tell Kara had
wanted to do that this afternoon. She had no idea what she really
wanted. It wasn’t me. She was pure, spun gold, all honey sweet and
good. I was dirt and grit and pain. I was the poster boy for dark,
tortured souls. Some girls liked exactly that. Others liked the
challenge of changing me, as if they could be the one to turn me
around. It would never happen.
“Hey. Are you from
around here? I don’t think I’ve seen you before.” A girl came
up next to me. She had jet-black hair, dark red lips and a short
denim skirt she let ride up as she sat down.
“Hey yourself.” I
gave her a slow smile, checking her out, and then took a long swig of
my beer. She smiled back and trailed a finger down her necklace as if
playing with her jewelry. Only her finger kept on going, tracing a
line down to her cleavage, then along the edge of her tank top. Right
where my tongue would be in a few minutes.
Later, in the parking
lot in my truck, she sucked my cock good. And she liked doing it,
dripping wet and moaning as she sucked while I twisted her nipples
and forced her head down on me so she’d take it deep. I could spot
the ones who liked it that way, who got off on it the way I did.
This one would be fun
to play with. She’d liked to be fucked good and hard against my
truck, like it raw and fast up against a bathroom wall. But as I
closed my eyes and she pumped me, sucking nice and tight, it was
Kara’s lips I pictured doing it. It was Kara’s hair I pictured
fisting, her mouth I felt going down on me. Kara taking me deep down
her throat, swallowing it all as I shot out a huge, hot load of come.
Now
Landing fist after
fist, I made the sweat pour off of me. I
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