once got Christmas tabled till Easter, and the second one had taken over Hell until the Devil could refinance. The tiniest of the three was also the meanest. She was from the IRS, and was so good at tax collecting she could find pockets on a shadow. The three of them together carried a roll of red tape so thick a man couldn’t even think of home without a dozen feasibility studies first.
Of course, Johnny’s back was broader than those little woman lawyers were motivated to wrestle, since they worked on salary only, and he threw them faster than rodeo clowns off a bronco. Then he went ahead and dug into that mine until it plumb collapsed fromhappiness, and to this day they call the hole he left the Grand Canyon, in honor of the thousand dollars he paid himself to do it. Then for dessert he cut down all the forest in those parts, slicker than a ballplayer shaving on a TV commercial. And without those pesky regulators, Johnny started growing and growing and
growing
—right in front of the media, so ask them if you don’t believe me—and pretty soon it took three strong men just to
conceive
of how rich he was!
Finally, right when Johnny was so big he was actually twice as large as himself, there was a market-rattling explosion that made analysts bark as far away as Tacoma, and when the hype had cleared, there wasn’t anything left in Johnny Business’s shoes but the air rights.
He was true to his code, even if he did explode—
And you have to give him credit, yes you do, Lord, Lord,
You have to give him credit, yes you do …
Where did he get to? Oh, some say he went and jumped out a window, but you and I both know there’s not enough distance on this earth for a man that big to fall far enough to hurt himself. Others say he died from a heart attack after all that hard work he should have been delegating, and still others have the gold-plated brass to say they’ve seen his carcass on display at Neiman Marcus—but after all the bespectacled Sunday morning commentary floats off into what no one watched yesterday, the real question is, Do dreams like Johnny’s ever really die? Sometimes,on an autumn evening, when trading has been particularly heavy, give a listen to the wind. Maybe you’ll hear a distant voice saying,
“… I’ll get back to you!”
That’ll be Johnny.
QUESTIONS FOR REVIEW
1. Where is the story set? Do you think having a setting adds to the story? Where are you set? Defend your answer.
2. Dinah repeatedly complains about the darkness at Seven Birches. Is it really darkness? What does she really mean? Think of examples from real life of someone saying things you can barely understand to show everyone how unhappy and alone they are. Make a list.
3. Who survives the fire Dinah sets, and why? Who flees into the night? What happens to Wobbles? (Hint:
Grrrrrr.
)
4. Of the three kinds of conflict—Man versus Man, Man versus Nature, and Man versus Himself—which kinds are in evidence here? (Example: When Doctor Luger’s eugenically bred killer ants attack his experimental Ape Maiden, it counts as both Man versus Nature and Man versus Himself—and, arguably, Nature versus Nature.)
5. When Squiffy decides to kick Lars, somethingunexpected follows. What? Go kick someone larger than yourself and describe what follows. Be specific.
6. What famous character does Brannigan resemble? Consider his miraculous powers at Dinah’s poorly planned party, his death in Crossville, and his surprising resuscitation at Doctor Easter’s clinic. Defend your answer.
7. Discuss the perfectly good reasons someone might have for shooting another person, especially in the unorthodox way Dinah shoots Lars. Make a list of people who are bucking for just such treatment. You may include world figures as well as family members and friends.
8. What is it with Dinah? Be specific.
9. Stories consist of rising action, climax, and denouement. Is this true of life? Why or why not? Is
Of course, Johnny’s back was broader than those little woman lawyers were motivated to wrestle, since they worked on salary only, and he threw them faster than rodeo clowns off a bronco. Then he went ahead and dug into that mine until it plumb collapsed fromhappiness, and to this day they call the hole he left the Grand Canyon, in honor of the thousand dollars he paid himself to do it. Then for dessert he cut down all the forest in those parts, slicker than a ballplayer shaving on a TV commercial. And without those pesky regulators, Johnny started growing and growing and
growing
—right in front of the media, so ask them if you don’t believe me—and pretty soon it took three strong men just to
conceive
of how rich he was!
Finally, right when Johnny was so big he was actually twice as large as himself, there was a market-rattling explosion that made analysts bark as far away as Tacoma, and when the hype had cleared, there wasn’t anything left in Johnny Business’s shoes but the air rights.
He was true to his code, even if he did explode—
And you have to give him credit, yes you do, Lord, Lord,
You have to give him credit, yes you do …
Where did he get to? Oh, some say he went and jumped out a window, but you and I both know there’s not enough distance on this earth for a man that big to fall far enough to hurt himself. Others say he died from a heart attack after all that hard work he should have been delegating, and still others have the gold-plated brass to say they’ve seen his carcass on display at Neiman Marcus—but after all the bespectacled Sunday morning commentary floats off into what no one watched yesterday, the real question is, Do dreams like Johnny’s ever really die? Sometimes,on an autumn evening, when trading has been particularly heavy, give a listen to the wind. Maybe you’ll hear a distant voice saying,
“… I’ll get back to you!”
That’ll be Johnny.
QUESTIONS FOR REVIEW
1. Where is the story set? Do you think having a setting adds to the story? Where are you set? Defend your answer.
2. Dinah repeatedly complains about the darkness at Seven Birches. Is it really darkness? What does she really mean? Think of examples from real life of someone saying things you can barely understand to show everyone how unhappy and alone they are. Make a list.
3. Who survives the fire Dinah sets, and why? Who flees into the night? What happens to Wobbles? (Hint:
Grrrrrr.
)
4. Of the three kinds of conflict—Man versus Man, Man versus Nature, and Man versus Himself—which kinds are in evidence here? (Example: When Doctor Luger’s eugenically bred killer ants attack his experimental Ape Maiden, it counts as both Man versus Nature and Man versus Himself—and, arguably, Nature versus Nature.)
5. When Squiffy decides to kick Lars, somethingunexpected follows. What? Go kick someone larger than yourself and describe what follows. Be specific.
6. What famous character does Brannigan resemble? Consider his miraculous powers at Dinah’s poorly planned party, his death in Crossville, and his surprising resuscitation at Doctor Easter’s clinic. Defend your answer.
7. Discuss the perfectly good reasons someone might have for shooting another person, especially in the unorthodox way Dinah shoots Lars. Make a list of people who are bucking for just such treatment. You may include world figures as well as family members and friends.
8. What is it with Dinah? Be specific.
9. Stories consist of rising action, climax, and denouement. Is this true of life? Why or why not? Is
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