felt the wind in my long hair, the horse moving beneath me, and Recks’s arm tight around my waist. I was the bird flying away. I thought I might explode from happiness.
We rode all day, past forests and meadows and towns I’d never seen before, until the horse could go no further. With my billa gone, I let my hair fall over my face in a dark wave, hoping it’d at least cover the damaged part. I was glad Recks sat behind me and couldn’t see my face well, even though I knew he wouldn’t have minded.
Nightfall was a relief. Recks guided the horse to a lake surrounded by trees, where she could drink and we could rest. Not used to riding, my body hurt in places I’d never felt before but my stomach ached even more. I wished I hadn’t dropped the potatoes. In this place, I didn’t know where to begin looking for food. I sat on the ground, rubbing my sore muscles, and let my hair fall across my face. I found myself wishing for the warmth of my mat back in Roma. Recks collected kindling and made a fire without speaking. He looked at me once or twice, his eyes curious.
“You should have left me,” I said.
“What kind of talk is that?”
“Stealing another man’s property? They’ll be hunting you for sure. If I’d just disappeared one night, they’d think I’d run away.”
“You’re not property. You’re a human being, Alana. Besides, they’ll never find us where we’re going.”
Recks put something in my hand—a bit of dried meat I devoured ravenously.
“Where did you get this?” I asked.
“I kept some supplies on the horse just in case.”
“I had everything planned, all the things I’d bring. Now I have nothing,” I lamented.
“We will make do,” he said, chewing his jerky with slow, deliberate movements, as if thinking. The world darkened around us, and the fireflies floated amongst the grass like tiny, flickering lanterns. I watched them, able to see them clearly without the billa in the way. I lay down and looked up at the silhouettes of the trees against the blue-black sky.
“Where are we going, Recks?”
Recks lay down across the fire from me. “I still want to go to Lhasayushu.”
“But I thought you needed Kinder to show you the way?”
“It would’ve been better, but he told me how to get there while we were locked up together. I think we can still find it.”
“What if it was just a story? He did leave you. What kind of friend would leave without saying goodbye?”
“I’m sure he had his reasons.”
“What if he lied?”
“I don’t think it was a lie.”
“All men lie.”
Recks didn’t answer that. We lay there, listening to the wood sizzle and pop in the fire as it sent sparks into the sky. My eyelids drooped as the smoke drifted over me.
“What’s your story, Alana?” he said, waking me from the first moments of sleep.
“Hmm?”
“How did you get to Roma?”
“I’ve been Master Dine’s since I was two. I remember a long journey but only bits and pieces. Dine told me my mother sold me to Weevil for no more than a loaf of bread.”
“Why do you never look at me?”
“I’m not allowed. And … I’m ugly.”
Recks got up and moved closer to me so he could see my face. He stared hard at me.
“You aren’t ugly, but you’ve been damaged,” he said, brushing my hair away from my burns. “In fact, you’re beautiful.”
I flinched at his touch. Did he intend to have his way with me like Dine and Tow? I refused to meet his gaze.
“Your eyes are like mine. You must be from the East.”
“I don’t know. I’ve never met anyone like me.” I closed my eyes and hoped he would get it over with quickly. I already hurt from the day’s ride. There wasn’t much more he could do to me.
Instead, he moved his hand away. “Are you in pain?” he asked.
“Some,” I said, my eyes still closed.
“I know a tea for that. I’ll make you some.”
“It will be all right if I can sleep.” My body relaxed when I felt him move away from
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