Victoria by Anna Kirwan Page B

late last night. O’Hum was writing letters and otherwise occupied. I believe he has found a way to get the bay mares, after all, but it seems to involve his going here and there and doing a lot of visiting with Mr Owen and some other gentlemen.
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12 July
    Rain again. Played twelve games of bell and hammer. In desperation, I believe, Uncle has promised to teach me chess.

13 July
    Uncle had to be away today. It was overcast, though not raining (for the most part).
    Sketched Lehzen and Mrs Louis and the chambermaid (as a dairy maid).
    Played three games of bell and hammer with Lehzen and Mamma. In the second one, my dice came up blank at every single throw . They agreed they had never seen such a thing.

14 July
    Sunday at St George’s again. A wasp was buzzing all around us in the pews for about a quarter of an hour. I sat very still and prayed it would not sting anyone, and the Lord heard my prayer. But I don’t know if that is a miracle or only good luck. In fact, I don’t know if one may call anything “luck” that happens in church. I shall try to remember to ask the Reverend Mr Davys.
    There was veal at dinner, but for some reason I kept thinking, Diamond, heifer of Rose; Irene, heifer of Rose , so I declined the schnitzel. Instead, I had a Cornish hen with sauce of raspberries, and potatoes mashed and fluffed into little swirled domes like a Russian palace and broiled golden-brown. Uncle’s Cook does such things most beautifully.

16 July
    O’Hum on a tear, raging at Mamma over something when they came in from visiting. Lehzen took me out into the garden.

20 July
    Oh, Feo, the MOST TERRIBLE POSSIBILITY. It is simply unbearable! Uncle Leopold has been invited to go to Greece and be King there. He told me it may happen, but he must consider whether it would be a wise choice. I am afraid I wept piteously and begged him not to go away. He patted my hand and kissed my cheek and pressed my hand to his heart and said it would be many months before he can decide.
    Later, Mamma and Lehzen told me I must bear up, because the fate of nations hangs on his reply.
    And here is something odd. O’Hum seemed almost as distressed as I – though, I must say, for different reasons. He said, “You see, he has always had his own objective, his own best interests, most before him. He is not a thoroughly dependable ally.” Mamma was curt to him, and only said, “You are wrong, you will see.”

21 July
    MOST miserable. I had an odd dream – really, almost more like a memory.
    In it, I was a tiny child again, and it was the time Grandmamma Coburg was visiting here at Claremont, and she had brought our cousins Ernest and Albert with her – remember, Feo? And in this dream, I was riding on the back of my little white donkey, Blanco, that Uncle York gave me before he passed away. I wanted to climb down and run and play with Albert on a hillside covered with white flowers, as thick as a snowy white fleece, and I could see Uncle Leopold and Stocky were strolling nearby, too. But I was too small to get down and run to them. Blanco’s little bells kept jingling, jingling. Then, Captain Conroy came to me and lifted me down, so gently, he was quite like Uncle York.
    I woke up then, and I was weeping. My Papa is dead, and Uncle York is, too, and I shan’t see them again until we meet in heaven. Everyone says Uncle King will die soon, too. And Uncle Leopold may go to live far away. I wish O’Hum would be kind to me.
    Lehzen woke up and came and put her arms around me.

Later
    We are all going on holiday to Ramsgate tomorrow. It will take us many days to get there. We must be gracious and stay overnight with so many of Mamma’s influential friends all along our route. How tiresome! I am quite eager for the seaside!
    Uncle showed me that he is packing his little travelling chess set. He said he is sorry to cause me any sadness, and he repeated that he has not decided whether