I started the engine, then I drove off at full speed without a look in the mirror. I didn't want to see him still watching me.
This situation was so very embarrassing and if it wasn't for Amy, I would have returned to my hometown by now. It wasn’t as if New York had been kind to me so far. But Amy was the best friend I've ever had and I didn't want to lose her. And I wasn’t a coward – even if recent events might hint to the opposite conclusion. I wouldn’t give up my dream of being a successful writer in New York because of a guy that had nothing better to do than banging a girl in front of his window.
I could barely concentrate on my work that day – not that it took a huge amount of skill to serve beer to rude customers, but my patience was almost non-existent and it wasn’t helping that I had been forced to take Bruno to work with me because Amy and Jared were busy all day. I could hear him barking in Jack’s office half of the evening. To make matters worse, I managed to drop two glasses, one of them filled to the brim with beer. It took me a while to mop up the mess. Luckily, Jack wasn’t in the bar – he seldom was these days. He spent most of the time in the Caribbean with his young g irlfriend doing god-knows what.
Leon only gave me a kind smile when I mixed up orders and nearly dropped my third glass of the evening. He was probably the most patient guy in the world. Mona leaned against the bar next to me. “Are you okay? You seem a bit out of it today.”
That was an understatement. But I couldn't tell her. Amy accepted my strangeness but I doubted that other people would be as understanding. It was, after all, more than a little weird to spend your evening watching a stranger bang another stranger.
I assured her that I was alright, just a bit tired and she accepted my explanation, though I could tell that she didn't believe me. Was I that obvious?
I was utterly exhausted when I pulled into the small parking lot in front of my apartment building that evening. I looked around myself before I got off my scooter, almost expecting Adrian to wait for me. But this late at night he was probably already giving out his panty-dropping smiles to lure the next woman into his bedroom. When I saw that I was alone, I grabbed Bruno and rushed into the building and upstairs into my apartment.
I took a quick shower – I really couldn’t afford more – and got into my pajamas. All the worries and anxiety were taking a toll on me. Barefooted I walked toward my bedroom window and grabbed the curtains to pull them shut.
I froze and my eyes widened in shock at what I saw. Adrian was standing in his window. His arms were crossed in front of his chest and he was smiling his cocky smile at me. He was fully dressed for once – a white shirt hugging his body and dark pants – and there wasn't a woman in his bedroom. I didn't know what to do.
A part of me wanted to hide. Forever. But another part wanted to go over to his apartment and be the woman in his bedroom tonight.
And then? A little voice taunted. He'd kick you out afterward and you'd be nothing but another one of his conquests. He’ll forget you in no time, and you? You will feel like shit. Do you want that?
No. Yes. I didn’t know. I wanted him. But I wanted more than just sex. I knew it was naïve and stupid of me. I didn't even know him.
I frowned, angry at myself for my stupid dreams. He still hadn’t taken his eyes off me and his smile seemed to be getting wider with every second I spent standing in the window like an idiot. With a jerk I pulled the curtains shut. I needed to stop thinking of him. It would only get me hurt.
***
The next morning I was even more tired than the day before. When would I ever get a full night of sleep again? If I kept it up, Jack would fire my lazy ass. I kept my tired gaze on the floor, Bruno's leash in my right hand, as I scuffled after him. I wanted to head out to the park to write later, but right now I was too tired
This situation was so very embarrassing and if it wasn't for Amy, I would have returned to my hometown by now. It wasn’t as if New York had been kind to me so far. But Amy was the best friend I've ever had and I didn't want to lose her. And I wasn’t a coward – even if recent events might hint to the opposite conclusion. I wouldn’t give up my dream of being a successful writer in New York because of a guy that had nothing better to do than banging a girl in front of his window.
I could barely concentrate on my work that day – not that it took a huge amount of skill to serve beer to rude customers, but my patience was almost non-existent and it wasn’t helping that I had been forced to take Bruno to work with me because Amy and Jared were busy all day. I could hear him barking in Jack’s office half of the evening. To make matters worse, I managed to drop two glasses, one of them filled to the brim with beer. It took me a while to mop up the mess. Luckily, Jack wasn’t in the bar – he seldom was these days. He spent most of the time in the Caribbean with his young g irlfriend doing god-knows what.
Leon only gave me a kind smile when I mixed up orders and nearly dropped my third glass of the evening. He was probably the most patient guy in the world. Mona leaned against the bar next to me. “Are you okay? You seem a bit out of it today.”
That was an understatement. But I couldn't tell her. Amy accepted my strangeness but I doubted that other people would be as understanding. It was, after all, more than a little weird to spend your evening watching a stranger bang another stranger.
I assured her that I was alright, just a bit tired and she accepted my explanation, though I could tell that she didn't believe me. Was I that obvious?
I was utterly exhausted when I pulled into the small parking lot in front of my apartment building that evening. I looked around myself before I got off my scooter, almost expecting Adrian to wait for me. But this late at night he was probably already giving out his panty-dropping smiles to lure the next woman into his bedroom. When I saw that I was alone, I grabbed Bruno and rushed into the building and upstairs into my apartment.
I took a quick shower – I really couldn’t afford more – and got into my pajamas. All the worries and anxiety were taking a toll on me. Barefooted I walked toward my bedroom window and grabbed the curtains to pull them shut.
I froze and my eyes widened in shock at what I saw. Adrian was standing in his window. His arms were crossed in front of his chest and he was smiling his cocky smile at me. He was fully dressed for once – a white shirt hugging his body and dark pants – and there wasn't a woman in his bedroom. I didn't know what to do.
A part of me wanted to hide. Forever. But another part wanted to go over to his apartment and be the woman in his bedroom tonight.
And then? A little voice taunted. He'd kick you out afterward and you'd be nothing but another one of his conquests. He’ll forget you in no time, and you? You will feel like shit. Do you want that?
No. Yes. I didn’t know. I wanted him. But I wanted more than just sex. I knew it was naïve and stupid of me. I didn't even know him.
I frowned, angry at myself for my stupid dreams. He still hadn’t taken his eyes off me and his smile seemed to be getting wider with every second I spent standing in the window like an idiot. With a jerk I pulled the curtains shut. I needed to stop thinking of him. It would only get me hurt.
***
The next morning I was even more tired than the day before. When would I ever get a full night of sleep again? If I kept it up, Jack would fire my lazy ass. I kept my tired gaze on the floor, Bruno's leash in my right hand, as I scuffled after him. I wanted to head out to the park to write later, but right now I was too tired
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