his siblings, so his lackluster reaction to Adam’s unexpected visit was yet another reason for worry. “How long is he home?”
“He didn’t say. He’s having lunch with Dad. Maybe he told him.”
“You didn’t want to have lunch with them?” That, too, was unusual.
“I told you. I wanted to have lunch with you.”
“Are you hungry?”
“Not particularly.” His appetite, like his sleep, had been off. That they hadn’t made love since the accident was further evidence that something was amiss.
“Mac…”
“Hmm?”
“I wish you’d talk to me.”
“I am talking to you.”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”
He released her hand and sat up abruptly.
“I’m sorry,” she said, regretting that she’d pushed him. “I don’t want you to go. Please. You don’t have to talk if you’re not ready to. But don’t go.”
A muscle pulsed in his cheek as he seemed to weigh his options. Then he sagged a bit and lay down again.
Maddie was relieved that he’d stayed, but she tried not to show it.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t mean to be so touchy.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I want to help you. Will you let me?”
“I don’t know what I need.”
“Maybe if you talk about whatever is on your mind, you’d feel better.”
He stared up at the ceiling. “I can’t talk about what it was like to not know where my brothers were for hours or how it felt to be almost certain they were dead. I can’t talk about that, because if I do…”
Maddie blinked back tears, determined to be as strong for him as he always was for her. “What, Mac? Tell me.”
“I’m afraid if I do… I might… I might break into a million pieces that can’t ever be put back together again the way they were before.”
She placed her hand over his fast-beating heart. “I won’t let you break. I won’t let you. Hold on to me. Let me help.”
He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair as a sob erupted from his chest.
Maddie clung to him, rubbing his back and combing her fingers through his hair. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you. Let it out. Everything is okay. Your brothers are safe. Everyone is safe.”
He was utterly silent in his despair, but his tears wet her face and neck.
“It had to be awful for you. You’re the big brother, and you couldn’t help them. You had to be so scared and worried about me and the kids and your parents and Janey.”
He didn’t speak, but his arms tightened around her.
She turned her head so she could kiss his face. “Everything is okay now.” Maddie had no idea how long they stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, his body shaking with sobs he suffered through in silence to spare her. Even in his time of need, he always thought of her.
“I’m sorry,” he said, breaking the long silence.
“Don’t be sorry. Please don’t.”
He drew back from her so he could see her.
The sight of his face, ravaged and streaked with tears, broke her heart, but she didn’t let him see that. Rather, she brushed away his tears and traced the outline of his mouth. “I love you so much,” she said. “I had a very long day to think about what my life might be like without you, and I hope I never feel that way again. Ever.”
“I don’t mean to make it all about me. I know it was awful for you, too.”
“My awful was nowhere near as awful as yours. You don’t always have to be strong for me and everyone else, you know?”
“I don’t?” he asked with a small, teasing smile that was far more in keeping with her Mac than the grim countenance he’d sported in the last week.
“No, you don’t. Sometimes you can let me carry the burden for you.”
“You just did, baby.” He kissed her softly and sweetly. “Thank you.”
Maddie gathered him in close again, bringing his head to rest on her chest. “Close your eyes and try to rest for a while.”
“I have to go back to work.”
She reached for his belt where he
“He didn’t say. He’s having lunch with Dad. Maybe he told him.”
“You didn’t want to have lunch with them?” That, too, was unusual.
“I told you. I wanted to have lunch with you.”
“Are you hungry?”
“Not particularly.” His appetite, like his sleep, had been off. That they hadn’t made love since the accident was further evidence that something was amiss.
“Mac…”
“Hmm?”
“I wish you’d talk to me.”
“I am talking to you.”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”
He released her hand and sat up abruptly.
“I’m sorry,” she said, regretting that she’d pushed him. “I don’t want you to go. Please. You don’t have to talk if you’re not ready to. But don’t go.”
A muscle pulsed in his cheek as he seemed to weigh his options. Then he sagged a bit and lay down again.
Maddie was relieved that he’d stayed, but she tried not to show it.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t mean to be so touchy.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I want to help you. Will you let me?”
“I don’t know what I need.”
“Maybe if you talk about whatever is on your mind, you’d feel better.”
He stared up at the ceiling. “I can’t talk about what it was like to not know where my brothers were for hours or how it felt to be almost certain they were dead. I can’t talk about that, because if I do…”
Maddie blinked back tears, determined to be as strong for him as he always was for her. “What, Mac? Tell me.”
“I’m afraid if I do… I might… I might break into a million pieces that can’t ever be put back together again the way they were before.”
She placed her hand over his fast-beating heart. “I won’t let you break. I won’t let you. Hold on to me. Let me help.”
He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair as a sob erupted from his chest.
Maddie clung to him, rubbing his back and combing her fingers through his hair. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you. Let it out. Everything is okay. Your brothers are safe. Everyone is safe.”
He was utterly silent in his despair, but his tears wet her face and neck.
“It had to be awful for you. You’re the big brother, and you couldn’t help them. You had to be so scared and worried about me and the kids and your parents and Janey.”
He didn’t speak, but his arms tightened around her.
She turned her head so she could kiss his face. “Everything is okay now.” Maddie had no idea how long they stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, his body shaking with sobs he suffered through in silence to spare her. Even in his time of need, he always thought of her.
“I’m sorry,” he said, breaking the long silence.
“Don’t be sorry. Please don’t.”
He drew back from her so he could see her.
The sight of his face, ravaged and streaked with tears, broke her heart, but she didn’t let him see that. Rather, she brushed away his tears and traced the outline of his mouth. “I love you so much,” she said. “I had a very long day to think about what my life might be like without you, and I hope I never feel that way again. Ever.”
“I don’t mean to make it all about me. I know it was awful for you, too.”
“My awful was nowhere near as awful as yours. You don’t always have to be strong for me and everyone else, you know?”
“I don’t?” he asked with a small, teasing smile that was far more in keeping with her Mac than the grim countenance he’d sported in the last week.
“No, you don’t. Sometimes you can let me carry the burden for you.”
“You just did, baby.” He kissed her softly and sweetly. “Thank you.”
Maddie gathered him in close again, bringing his head to rest on her chest. “Close your eyes and try to rest for a while.”
“I have to go back to work.”
She reached for his belt where he
Similar Books
