boot. Although she loved most creatures, she wasn’t about to start playing a dirge for that one, who’d looked like a mad scientist’s experimental cross between a bug and a dinosaur.
“Who were you talking to?”
“Nobody. I thought you’d left.”
“I was bringing in your suitcase,” he explained, walking closer, studying her face to see if she was lying, perhaps covering for a bad guy hiding in the pantry. He obviously wasn’t going to go away without an explanation.
Knowing she had to, she admitted in a voice a little above a whisper, “There was a spider.”
His frown disappeared. A twinkle might have appeared in those dark bedroom eyes, but he had the courtesy not to smile. “One that speaks English and follows orders?”
“Ha-ha, very funny. That thing was huge. I mean, it could have been wearing a mask, swinging from webs and looking for the Green Goblin!”
“Comic book fan, huh?”
“Movie biz, remember?”
And considering Tommy was hoping to be cast as the latest comic hero, he’d made her watch a bunch of them recently. She wasn’t a huge fan of the genre, but had to admit, some of those guys did an awesome job filling out their clingy costumes. She’d become a huge Jeremy Renner fan in the past year and fantasized about getting to dress him. Undressing him would be a mighty fine experience, too.
“So where is this huge mutant creature?”
“Gone.”
“Where’d he go?”
“I think onto the bottom of your shoe.”
“You sure? I didn’t hear anything that sounded like the crushing of a colossus.”
“Well, he’s not...” Her voice trailed off and her eyes rounded as she saw a black leg disappearing behind the table leg. She squeaked, grabbed his arm and ducked behind him. “Oh, God.”
“What?”
Keeping her voice low, as if they were facing a ravaging tiger, she replied, “He’s right over there.”
He followed her gaze and snorted. “That’s your monster spider? He’s tiny.”
“That thing’s as big as my hand!” Closing her eyes, she begged, “Please take it away, Oliver. I’ll pay you.... I’ll bake you a cake, cook you dinner. Just please get it out of here.”
“Are you a good cook?”
“The best. Excellent. Cordon Bleu. Restaurants vie for my services.”
“Are you lying?”
“Oh, hell, yes. Right through my teeth. Now would you please help me?”
“I thought you didn’t need any help except in the most dire emergency.”
“This is dire.”
“Are you an arachnophobe?”
“If that means I am utterly terrified to my bones and feel like I’m going to throw up if I so much as glimpse a spider, then yes, that’s me.”
“Gotcha.”
He didn’t tease her anymore, as if knowing she wasn’t playing the weak girlie-girl in some effort to entice him. Not, she hoped, that he would ever expect her to. Turning, he grabbed the dustpan, then unhooked her death grip from the broom. Drawing on his primal, caveman-hunter genes, he stalked the monster, deftly swept it into the pan and carried it toward the front door.
“Are you just going to let it go?” she asked, following him. “What if it gets back in?”
“I’m sure he’d be too afraid to risk it. You’re pretty intimidating.”
“Are you sure you shouldn’t squish it?”
“Bloodthirsty, aren’t you?”
She thought about it. She wasn’t, really. Still, some things were just beyond the bounds of humanity, and sharing a house with a big honking spider was one of them.
“You’ll be glad for him during mosquito season.”
“Maybe if they’re killer mosquitoes carrying the ebola virus. Otherwise, I’ll invest in calamine lotion and take my chances.”
He opened the door, walked outside and was back with the broom and dustpan a moment later. Leaning them both against the wall, he said, “All gone.”
Relieved, she drew in a deep breath and whispered, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. You okay now?”
She nodded slowly. “Oh, sure. Fine.”
Her pulse finally
“Who were you talking to?”
“Nobody. I thought you’d left.”
“I was bringing in your suitcase,” he explained, walking closer, studying her face to see if she was lying, perhaps covering for a bad guy hiding in the pantry. He obviously wasn’t going to go away without an explanation.
Knowing she had to, she admitted in a voice a little above a whisper, “There was a spider.”
His frown disappeared. A twinkle might have appeared in those dark bedroom eyes, but he had the courtesy not to smile. “One that speaks English and follows orders?”
“Ha-ha, very funny. That thing was huge. I mean, it could have been wearing a mask, swinging from webs and looking for the Green Goblin!”
“Comic book fan, huh?”
“Movie biz, remember?”
And considering Tommy was hoping to be cast as the latest comic hero, he’d made her watch a bunch of them recently. She wasn’t a huge fan of the genre, but had to admit, some of those guys did an awesome job filling out their clingy costumes. She’d become a huge Jeremy Renner fan in the past year and fantasized about getting to dress him. Undressing him would be a mighty fine experience, too.
“So where is this huge mutant creature?”
“Gone.”
“Where’d he go?”
“I think onto the bottom of your shoe.”
“You sure? I didn’t hear anything that sounded like the crushing of a colossus.”
“Well, he’s not...” Her voice trailed off and her eyes rounded as she saw a black leg disappearing behind the table leg. She squeaked, grabbed his arm and ducked behind him. “Oh, God.”
“What?”
Keeping her voice low, as if they were facing a ravaging tiger, she replied, “He’s right over there.”
He followed her gaze and snorted. “That’s your monster spider? He’s tiny.”
“That thing’s as big as my hand!” Closing her eyes, she begged, “Please take it away, Oliver. I’ll pay you.... I’ll bake you a cake, cook you dinner. Just please get it out of here.”
“Are you a good cook?”
“The best. Excellent. Cordon Bleu. Restaurants vie for my services.”
“Are you lying?”
“Oh, hell, yes. Right through my teeth. Now would you please help me?”
“I thought you didn’t need any help except in the most dire emergency.”
“This is dire.”
“Are you an arachnophobe?”
“If that means I am utterly terrified to my bones and feel like I’m going to throw up if I so much as glimpse a spider, then yes, that’s me.”
“Gotcha.”
He didn’t tease her anymore, as if knowing she wasn’t playing the weak girlie-girl in some effort to entice him. Not, she hoped, that he would ever expect her to. Turning, he grabbed the dustpan, then unhooked her death grip from the broom. Drawing on his primal, caveman-hunter genes, he stalked the monster, deftly swept it into the pan and carried it toward the front door.
“Are you just going to let it go?” she asked, following him. “What if it gets back in?”
“I’m sure he’d be too afraid to risk it. You’re pretty intimidating.”
“Are you sure you shouldn’t squish it?”
“Bloodthirsty, aren’t you?”
She thought about it. She wasn’t, really. Still, some things were just beyond the bounds of humanity, and sharing a house with a big honking spider was one of them.
“You’ll be glad for him during mosquito season.”
“Maybe if they’re killer mosquitoes carrying the ebola virus. Otherwise, I’ll invest in calamine lotion and take my chances.”
He opened the door, walked outside and was back with the broom and dustpan a moment later. Leaning them both against the wall, he said, “All gone.”
Relieved, she drew in a deep breath and whispered, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. You okay now?”
She nodded slowly. “Oh, sure. Fine.”
Her pulse finally
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