kind of older sister am
I? I left them in the throes of an illogical venom-shooter that is our mom.
“We’ll see,” I chuckle and reach down to
grab my clutch off the table as Cam and Johnny sit down with the rest of the
kids. “Kids, I’m off to the bar, anyone want anything?”
They all shake their heads as I walk
around the round tables, pretending people aren’t looking at me and whispering.
The Gellys girl is back!
Marisa was gone?
Yes, Libby didn’t elaborate. Something
about a road trip to find herself!
My word!
So, is she back for good?
Her mother is so disappointed in her.
Libby was always harsh!
She looks lovely.
What a wonderful color on her!
Where did she get that dress?
She must have a good job…Gwen said…!
Good old Gwen! I chuckle knowingly to myself as I make my way
toward the bar.
“Hey…” A familiar voice calls from behind
me as I wait behind a few patrons to order from the bartender.
It happens again, just like in the parking
lot, I freeze. My eyes widen in anticipation at what is waiting behind me,
almost half a year in the making. I turn around, and come face-to-face with a
precious part of my past. No matter how much I’d rather he wasn’t so precious,
he is a part of me, and I’m realizing right now I can’t forget him, no matter
what.
Ben.
He stands with his hands in the pockets of
his dark jeans. He’s wearing a fitted, off-white blazer, which I mentally roll
my eyes at, because who wears an off-white blazer? Even if it fits really
nicely, and the person wearing it looks amazing. Ben’s brown eyes twinkle at
the same time and his dark brown hair is gelled back to create a smooth
surface, showcasing the beauty of his face.
But yeah, I roll my eyes; or at least I
think about it. But damn, my ex-boyfriend looks fine, really fine….and if I
keep thinking things like this, this reunion will be more like my inevitable
caving or surrender.
I don’t want to surrender, or give off any
notion that surrender is an option by my facial or body movement. I want to be
strong, to show that I am still as scorned as I was almost six months ago, that
no one should mess with me, even the old love of my life.
Damn it…why couldn’t he just accept me for
me…love me for me? Because I had loved him just the way he was. Even though
sometimes he had acted like a total and complete Momma’s-boy-cocky-douchebag.
But I had accepted him, nevertheless; it was a character trait that I could
easily look past. But cheating…that was on a whole new level of things that I
didn’t and could never get past.
My lips weren’t enough for him.
And that’s what killed the most.
“Hey,” I murmur back, slowly keeping eye
contact.
You can do this!
“How are you?” Ben asks slightly louder
than a murmur. I press my clutch against my thigh and subtly adjust my stance,
bending my knees slightly, just in case I need the stability.
“I’m fine,” I reply.
“Did you just arrive?”
“Yeah, like fifteen minutes ago.”
“So did I. I didn’t see you outside; I
mean, we arrived practically at the same time…” Ben trails off.
“I saw you,” I murmur back. Ben’s eyes
widen in slight shock.
“Really?”
“Yeah, I was in the black SUV in front of
the steps outside,” I explain.
“Oh, you changed your car?” Ben asks
hesitantly.
“No, I got a ride from a friend.” As soon
as I explain that to him, something clouds over his eyes, but he quickly
reverts back to normal.
Is that…jealousy?
“And I don’t have my car anymore…I had to
sell it,” I further explain.
My poor car…I loved that car. I bought
that car with my own money, even though it wasn’t the newest or the flashiest.
Hell, it was as far from flash and class as any car could get, well, in the
eyes of my family and Ben, but it got me from point A to point B without a
problem. And I’d treasured it. Ben’s family had gotten him a used car, a black
2010 BMW, as a graduation present.
I got raised
I? I left them in the throes of an illogical venom-shooter that is our mom.
“We’ll see,” I chuckle and reach down to
grab my clutch off the table as Cam and Johnny sit down with the rest of the
kids. “Kids, I’m off to the bar, anyone want anything?”
They all shake their heads as I walk
around the round tables, pretending people aren’t looking at me and whispering.
The Gellys girl is back!
Marisa was gone?
Yes, Libby didn’t elaborate. Something
about a road trip to find herself!
My word!
So, is she back for good?
Her mother is so disappointed in her.
Libby was always harsh!
She looks lovely.
What a wonderful color on her!
Where did she get that dress?
She must have a good job…Gwen said…!
Good old Gwen! I chuckle knowingly to myself as I make my way
toward the bar.
“Hey…” A familiar voice calls from behind
me as I wait behind a few patrons to order from the bartender.
It happens again, just like in the parking
lot, I freeze. My eyes widen in anticipation at what is waiting behind me,
almost half a year in the making. I turn around, and come face-to-face with a
precious part of my past. No matter how much I’d rather he wasn’t so precious,
he is a part of me, and I’m realizing right now I can’t forget him, no matter
what.
Ben.
He stands with his hands in the pockets of
his dark jeans. He’s wearing a fitted, off-white blazer, which I mentally roll
my eyes at, because who wears an off-white blazer? Even if it fits really
nicely, and the person wearing it looks amazing. Ben’s brown eyes twinkle at
the same time and his dark brown hair is gelled back to create a smooth
surface, showcasing the beauty of his face.
But yeah, I roll my eyes; or at least I
think about it. But damn, my ex-boyfriend looks fine, really fine….and if I
keep thinking things like this, this reunion will be more like my inevitable
caving or surrender.
I don’t want to surrender, or give off any
notion that surrender is an option by my facial or body movement. I want to be
strong, to show that I am still as scorned as I was almost six months ago, that
no one should mess with me, even the old love of my life.
Damn it…why couldn’t he just accept me for
me…love me for me? Because I had loved him just the way he was. Even though
sometimes he had acted like a total and complete Momma’s-boy-cocky-douchebag.
But I had accepted him, nevertheless; it was a character trait that I could
easily look past. But cheating…that was on a whole new level of things that I
didn’t and could never get past.
My lips weren’t enough for him.
And that’s what killed the most.
“Hey,” I murmur back, slowly keeping eye
contact.
You can do this!
“How are you?” Ben asks slightly louder
than a murmur. I press my clutch against my thigh and subtly adjust my stance,
bending my knees slightly, just in case I need the stability.
“I’m fine,” I reply.
“Did you just arrive?”
“Yeah, like fifteen minutes ago.”
“So did I. I didn’t see you outside; I
mean, we arrived practically at the same time…” Ben trails off.
“I saw you,” I murmur back. Ben’s eyes
widen in slight shock.
“Really?”
“Yeah, I was in the black SUV in front of
the steps outside,” I explain.
“Oh, you changed your car?” Ben asks
hesitantly.
“No, I got a ride from a friend.” As soon
as I explain that to him, something clouds over his eyes, but he quickly
reverts back to normal.
Is that…jealousy?
“And I don’t have my car anymore…I had to
sell it,” I further explain.
My poor car…I loved that car. I bought
that car with my own money, even though it wasn’t the newest or the flashiest.
Hell, it was as far from flash and class as any car could get, well, in the
eyes of my family and Ben, but it got me from point A to point B without a
problem. And I’d treasured it. Ben’s family had gotten him a used car, a black
2010 BMW, as a graduation present.
I got raised
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