Warm and Witty Side of Attila the Hun by Jeffrey Sackett Page A
Authors: Jeffrey Sackett
Tags: Humor
Ads: Link
the son of a bitch!"
Three: Truman's daughter Margaret (later a very successful author of murder mysteries set in Washington) was taking voice lessons during her father's presidency, and she gave a concert for charity. A newspaper critic chose to review the concert as if it were a professional performance instead of what it actually was, an amateur performing to raise money for a good cause, and in his review he absolutely savaged her, criticizing everything from her voice to her demeanor to her comportment. An outraged Truman sent the critic a handwritten letter telling him exactly what he thought of him. The letter ended with the words, "If I ever meet you face to face, you're going to need a bridge and a supporter." Truman later explained that he intended at first to threaten to punch him the mouth and kick him in the balls, but his wife Bess talked him into phrasing it more delicately. (When someone once suggested to Bess that she get Harry to clean up his language, she replied, "It's taken me twenty years to get him to say manure.")
Â
Bess Truman hated politics and had absolutely no desire to be First Lady. (In fact, she spent much of Truman's presidency back home in Independence , Missouri .) But when FDR died and Truman succeeded him, Bess found herself thrust unwillingly into the unwanted role.
She was told that as First Lady she should meet with what was then called the Ladies' Press Corps, and she grudgingly agreed. She answered all of the reporters' questions with monosyllables or noncommittal gestures and an occasional harrumph. At last one of the reporters said, "Mrs. Roosevelt used to meet with us every Monday morning. When will you be holding your press conferences?"
"This is it," replied Bess. And it was!
Â
Anyone who has ever gone through the ordeal of giving up cigarettes will appreciate President Eisenhower's comment on the experience. Ike was a four-pack-a-day smoker, but when he had a heart attack in the middle of his first term he of course had to stop cold turkey. When asked if he would ever start smoking again, he answered, "I don't know about that, but one thing's for damned sure: I'll never stop smoking again!"
Â
Most political figures are to some degree egotists, but Lyndon Baines Johnson (LBJ) raised egotism to new heights. He was fascinated, for example, by his own initials. His wife's given name was Claudia, but he had her change it to Lady Bird, so that her initials would be LBJ also. He named his daughters Lynda Bird and Lucy Baines. His dog was named Little Beagle Johnson, for Pete's sake!
Anyone with so dominant an ego would of course love the power of the presidency. The story goes that when President Johnson was visiting South Vietnam a nervous young soldier on the U.S. airbase was given the task of directing him to the correct helicopter. When the young man said to him, "Mr. President, that's your helicopter over there," LBJ put his huge, bearlike arm around him and said, "Son, they're all my helicopters!"
Â
Many men have a very hard time uttering the two simple words, "I'm sorry." (Many women will agree with this comment.) This quality was particularly true of Lyndon Johnson.
When Detroit's inner city erupted in race riots in the summer of 1966, Johnson sent troops to quell the disturbance. He also appointed a task force to go to Detroit to investigate. Roger Wilkens , a black member of the task force, recalled that in a closed meeting before they left for Michigan a very agitated president said of his troops, "I don't want any bullets in those guns. I don't want any bullets in those guns! I don't want any bullets in those gunsl I don't want any of my men to go and shoot a pregnant nigâ" Then, remembering Wilkins' presence, he stopped speaking for a moment before returning to the issue at hand.
When the meeting was over, LBJ asked Wilkens to stay behind. He obviously wanted to say something conciliatory, to somehow apologize for his truncated words, but could
Three: Truman's daughter Margaret (later a very successful author of murder mysteries set in Washington) was taking voice lessons during her father's presidency, and she gave a concert for charity. A newspaper critic chose to review the concert as if it were a professional performance instead of what it actually was, an amateur performing to raise money for a good cause, and in his review he absolutely savaged her, criticizing everything from her voice to her demeanor to her comportment. An outraged Truman sent the critic a handwritten letter telling him exactly what he thought of him. The letter ended with the words, "If I ever meet you face to face, you're going to need a bridge and a supporter." Truman later explained that he intended at first to threaten to punch him the mouth and kick him in the balls, but his wife Bess talked him into phrasing it more delicately. (When someone once suggested to Bess that she get Harry to clean up his language, she replied, "It's taken me twenty years to get him to say manure.")
Â
Bess Truman hated politics and had absolutely no desire to be First Lady. (In fact, she spent much of Truman's presidency back home in Independence , Missouri .) But when FDR died and Truman succeeded him, Bess found herself thrust unwillingly into the unwanted role.
She was told that as First Lady she should meet with what was then called the Ladies' Press Corps, and she grudgingly agreed. She answered all of the reporters' questions with monosyllables or noncommittal gestures and an occasional harrumph. At last one of the reporters said, "Mrs. Roosevelt used to meet with us every Monday morning. When will you be holding your press conferences?"
"This is it," replied Bess. And it was!
Â
Anyone who has ever gone through the ordeal of giving up cigarettes will appreciate President Eisenhower's comment on the experience. Ike was a four-pack-a-day smoker, but when he had a heart attack in the middle of his first term he of course had to stop cold turkey. When asked if he would ever start smoking again, he answered, "I don't know about that, but one thing's for damned sure: I'll never stop smoking again!"
Â
Most political figures are to some degree egotists, but Lyndon Baines Johnson (LBJ) raised egotism to new heights. He was fascinated, for example, by his own initials. His wife's given name was Claudia, but he had her change it to Lady Bird, so that her initials would be LBJ also. He named his daughters Lynda Bird and Lucy Baines. His dog was named Little Beagle Johnson, for Pete's sake!
Anyone with so dominant an ego would of course love the power of the presidency. The story goes that when President Johnson was visiting South Vietnam a nervous young soldier on the U.S. airbase was given the task of directing him to the correct helicopter. When the young man said to him, "Mr. President, that's your helicopter over there," LBJ put his huge, bearlike arm around him and said, "Son, they're all my helicopters!"
Â
Many men have a very hard time uttering the two simple words, "I'm sorry." (Many women will agree with this comment.) This quality was particularly true of Lyndon Johnson.
When Detroit's inner city erupted in race riots in the summer of 1966, Johnson sent troops to quell the disturbance. He also appointed a task force to go to Detroit to investigate. Roger Wilkens , a black member of the task force, recalled that in a closed meeting before they left for Michigan a very agitated president said of his troops, "I don't want any bullets in those guns. I don't want any bullets in those guns! I don't want any bullets in those gunsl I don't want any of my men to go and shoot a pregnant nigâ" Then, remembering Wilkins' presence, he stopped speaking for a moment before returning to the issue at hand.
When the meeting was over, LBJ asked Wilkens to stay behind. He obviously wanted to say something conciliatory, to somehow apologize for his truncated words, but could
Similar Books
