Warp by Lev Grossman Page A

“My grandmother gave them to me when I was born. It was kind of depressing, actually—kind of like that scene in Risky Business, when Tom Cruise cashes all those bonds to pay for a call girl.”
    â€œYou slept with a call girl?” said Rob.
    â€œWhat’d you make?” said Blake.
    â€œNot very much. Six or seven hundred. I only had a few shares left.”
    A tired-looking waiter came up to the table, and they ordered a round of drinks.
    â€œWait,” Peters said, when the waiter was gone. “Wait. That can’t possibly be true. You hardly even got up today.”
    â€œSo? Okay, I went yesterday.”
    â€œSo why didn’t you just say you went yesterday?”
    â€œI don’t know,” Hollis said. “It just seemed simpler.”
    â€œHas it ever occurred to you that you’re a compulsive liar, Hollis?”
    â€œWhat’s wrong with lying?” Hollis said. “A lie is a blow to the tyranny of fact.”
    â€œOh, that’s brilliant,” said Basil. “A lie is—? What did you just say?”
    Daylight often found him in the blackest of moods. But when night fell and the wine flowed freely, none could match his flashing wit and merry gibes.
    The drinks arrived on a wet plastic tray. When everyone had claimed one they lifted them silently and drank. No one said anything for a minute or two, and Rob stared in the direction of the door, toying absently with his glass.
    â€œIsn’t that one of those Linstead girls?” he said.
    They all turned to look. A pair of women had just walked in; one was talking to the host and taking off her coat. The other waited for her, standing gracefully on one leg with the other leg cocked up behind her. As they watched she rummaged in her purse, took out a scrunchie, and put her long blond hair through it.
    â€œIt’s Fay,” said Basil. “It’s not like they’re twins, you know. Kay’s a lot shorter.”
    He craned his neck for a few moments, then looked away.
    â€œLet’s not stare at them, shall we?”
    Fay walked over to the bar, still arranging her hair.
    â€œOnce I was at this party at the Snail Club,” Basil said. “And Kay pulled me into the bathroom with her. She just wanted to mess around a little, I guess, I don’t know. Anna was there that night, and I wanted to get out without anybody seeing us together, but I couldn’t figure out how, so I started to climb out the window, but I was too drunk and I ended up just falling out instead. It was only on the first floor. But guess who was in the driveway? Fay. She was on her hands and knees, throwing up, and I landed on her.”
    He looked over again.
    â€œLook at her jaw. They both have these Dudley Do-Right chins.”
    â€œIt’s not like anybody forced you to sleep with her or anything,” said Rob.
    â€œActually, I didn’t sleep with her, if you really want to know.”
    â€œReally?” Peters leaned forward. “Is she a virgin?”
    â€œA virgin?”
    â€œOh, God,” said Rob. “Don’t talk about it.”
    Basil shrugged. “She was never not so by my hand,” he said.
    The women sat down at the bar; Fay sat with her back to it, leaning back on her elbows, and a tall, red-faced man came over and kissed them both on the cheek.
    â€œYou never went out with her, did you, Hollis?” said Rob.
    â€œA gentleman never tells.” He took another sip of his gin and tonic.
    Peters announced that he had to go to the bathroom, and Blake stood up to let him out. More drinks came. As the waiter unloaded them, mariachi music started blaring out of some lo-fi-looking speakers up near the ceiling. Hollis began to feel detached from what was going on around him. He leaned back against his corner of the booth and let his head rest against the wall, while the others kept talking.
    Sea marks of dark seaweed, limp sea rags, laid out in parallel on a bank of