all back there, even now.
Here in the city, while the apartment buildings loom, the multitudes do whatever they do. Way up there, in the blackness, one yellow rectangle of light.
Someone is up there now, maybe dreaming the way I am. Maybe someone I should know, or who should know me? Maybe someone…
A SNAP, like a pistol crack, breaks Reba’s trance. Even before she wrenches herself around, she knows it’s not a gun, knows it’s someone rapping at her window. Fucking Billy, scaring me like that! But it isn’t Billy. A male face only inches away, not one I know.
The street lamp backlights him, making him all silhouette, no face. Head nodding like a bobble-head doll as he hops from foot to foot. A flashy grin. And then she solves him, his white teeth splitting his face like the Cheshire cat’s. Old Blue Eyes.
“Hey, whatchoo doin’ in there?”
Reba says nothing. Old Blue Eyes makes a show of shrugging his shoulders, turns, and ambles toward the subway, letting her take a good look at his swimmer’s shoulders, his tight butt. Men are tricky, Reba thinks. Especially men you don’t know. He could have friends with him. Muggers. Billy has said it a million times, never open the door. No matter what. Not that she has any cash, Billy takes the cash. She thinks of Maureen. How frightened she’d be right now. But Reba isn’t frightened.
Fear is not the issue, the issue is Billy’s wrath if she fucks up. What if the van gets stolen? Or a case of fruit? What if I get myself raped? Billy will never forgive me. The guy stops to light a cigarette. He seems to be alone. She cracks the door.
“Hey. You scared the shit out of me.”
He blows out a plume of smoke. “Oh, you’re talking to me now?”
“Fuck you.”
“Lady has a mouth on her. Look, that apple was good. I just wanted to see if you had any more.”
“You owe me thirty cents!”
“OK.” He takes three steps toward the van, reaches into his pocket, pulls out pocket change and holds it out to her.
Reba shuts the door. “That’s OK, you can keep it.”
He comes closer. “Why you locked up in this van?”
“I’m waiting.”
“What? I can’t hear you.” Smokin’. Grinnin’.
She rolls the window down a crack. “I said I’m waiting.”
He stands now so that Reba can see his face. He’s fidgety and calm at the same time, turning every now and then as if to make sure Billy is nowhere around. In profile, his high forehead, strong straight nose, his jawline are like something out of a magazine.
He places his hands on either side of the window and leans into her, speaks onto the glass. “For the Second Coming? Or for your boyfriend?”
“My brother, remember him? The big guy? If he catches you here he’ll kick your ass to kingdom come. Just for fun.”
“And maybe I’ll kick his ass…just for fun. This brother of yours, he ever been in prison?”
“No. Have you?”
“Not saying I have, not saying I haven’t.”
“Look, I don’t care if you’ve been to prison or what. All I know is, you can’t stay here. You can have another apple, then you have to go away because Billy has a temper and he will hurt you. He doesn’t care about prison or any of that, he’s just very strong and good at fighting.” Maybe this boy has a knife or a gun himself? Maybe he’s dangerous?
“I don’t want another apple.” He drops his cigarette and steps on it.
“You asked me if I had any more.” So beautiful.
“But I didn’t say I wanted one. You shouldn’t jump to conclusions. It can get you in trouble. I just feel good knowing there are more. Makes me feel secure. I’m the kind of person who wants to be sure that I can get what I want in an emergency. Because in this world, good things are hard to find.”
“Right.” She doesn’t want to sound angry, but everything comes out that way.
“So, he just locks you up here all night?”
“Not all night. Just for an hour or so. He hangs out with his buddies and has a beer. Not that
Here in the city, while the apartment buildings loom, the multitudes do whatever they do. Way up there, in the blackness, one yellow rectangle of light.
Someone is up there now, maybe dreaming the way I am. Maybe someone I should know, or who should know me? Maybe someone…
A SNAP, like a pistol crack, breaks Reba’s trance. Even before she wrenches herself around, she knows it’s not a gun, knows it’s someone rapping at her window. Fucking Billy, scaring me like that! But it isn’t Billy. A male face only inches away, not one I know.
The street lamp backlights him, making him all silhouette, no face. Head nodding like a bobble-head doll as he hops from foot to foot. A flashy grin. And then she solves him, his white teeth splitting his face like the Cheshire cat’s. Old Blue Eyes.
“Hey, whatchoo doin’ in there?”
Reba says nothing. Old Blue Eyes makes a show of shrugging his shoulders, turns, and ambles toward the subway, letting her take a good look at his swimmer’s shoulders, his tight butt. Men are tricky, Reba thinks. Especially men you don’t know. He could have friends with him. Muggers. Billy has said it a million times, never open the door. No matter what. Not that she has any cash, Billy takes the cash. She thinks of Maureen. How frightened she’d be right now. But Reba isn’t frightened.
Fear is not the issue, the issue is Billy’s wrath if she fucks up. What if the van gets stolen? Or a case of fruit? What if I get myself raped? Billy will never forgive me. The guy stops to light a cigarette. He seems to be alone. She cracks the door.
“Hey. You scared the shit out of me.”
He blows out a plume of smoke. “Oh, you’re talking to me now?”
“Fuck you.”
“Lady has a mouth on her. Look, that apple was good. I just wanted to see if you had any more.”
“You owe me thirty cents!”
“OK.” He takes three steps toward the van, reaches into his pocket, pulls out pocket change and holds it out to her.
Reba shuts the door. “That’s OK, you can keep it.”
He comes closer. “Why you locked up in this van?”
“I’m waiting.”
“What? I can’t hear you.” Smokin’. Grinnin’.
She rolls the window down a crack. “I said I’m waiting.”
He stands now so that Reba can see his face. He’s fidgety and calm at the same time, turning every now and then as if to make sure Billy is nowhere around. In profile, his high forehead, strong straight nose, his jawline are like something out of a magazine.
He places his hands on either side of the window and leans into her, speaks onto the glass. “For the Second Coming? Or for your boyfriend?”
“My brother, remember him? The big guy? If he catches you here he’ll kick your ass to kingdom come. Just for fun.”
“And maybe I’ll kick his ass…just for fun. This brother of yours, he ever been in prison?”
“No. Have you?”
“Not saying I have, not saying I haven’t.”
“Look, I don’t care if you’ve been to prison or what. All I know is, you can’t stay here. You can have another apple, then you have to go away because Billy has a temper and he will hurt you. He doesn’t care about prison or any of that, he’s just very strong and good at fighting.” Maybe this boy has a knife or a gun himself? Maybe he’s dangerous?
“I don’t want another apple.” He drops his cigarette and steps on it.
“You asked me if I had any more.” So beautiful.
“But I didn’t say I wanted one. You shouldn’t jump to conclusions. It can get you in trouble. I just feel good knowing there are more. Makes me feel secure. I’m the kind of person who wants to be sure that I can get what I want in an emergency. Because in this world, good things are hard to find.”
“Right.” She doesn’t want to sound angry, but everything comes out that way.
“So, he just locks you up here all night?”
“Not all night. Just for an hour or so. He hangs out with his buddies and has a beer. Not that
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