Watch Me by Norah McClintock Page A

myself. Do you understand what I’m saying, Kaz?”
    I had already figured it out. I mean, what kind of dad hangs up on his own kid and then doesn’t even answer when his kid calls back?
    â€œIs it because I’m so dumb?” I said. “Is that why he doesn’t want me around?”
    â€œNo,” my mom said. “It has nothing to do with that. And you are
not
dumb.”
    â€œThen why did he hang up on me?”
    My mom squeezed my hand.
    â€œYour father had a hard time dealing with what happened, with the fire,” she said at last.
    She had to be kidding.
He
had a hard time dealing with the fire? What about me? I was the one who had been in the hospital forever. I was the one who had to have those skin grafts. I was the one with the horrible scars that everyone stared at. What could
he
possibly have had a hard time dealing with?
    â€œI saved his life,” I said. My dad had fallen asleep on the couch with a lit cigarette in his hand. I’d been asleep, but somethingwoke me up. Then I smelled smoke. I ran out of the house, just like my mom had told me I should do if there was a fire. I screamed for my dad, but he didn’t come out. So I ran back into the house to find him. “If I hadn’t woken up when I did, he would have died.”
    â€œKaz,” my mom said gently, “if you hadn’t woken up when you did,
you
would have died too.” I stared at her. I had never thought about that before, and she had never said it to me. I wondered if she had said it to my dad. I wonder if that’s what they had fought about.
    â€œYour father blames himself for what happened to you. I think when he looks at you, it makes him remember what he did. I think he’d rather forget. I think—” She stopped suddenly. “I’m sorry, Kaz.”
    I felt numb all over. I didn’t know what to say.
    â€œI love you, Kaz,” she said. “No matter what. I love you and I want you to stay here with me—and Neil. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
    She started to cry. I hugged her to try to get her to stop. Then I said something that was guaranteed to make her start all over again.
    â€œMom,” I said. “There’s something I have to tell you.”

chapter thirteen
    Two Saturdays later, I was standing on a chair in Jana’s grandma’s kitchen, handing dishes down to Drew. He was stacking them on the counter. After we emptied the cupboards, we were going to wash the shelves and put down new shelf paper. Then we had to put everything back. Drew wasn’t too happy about it, but I didn’t mind. In fact, I was glad to be doing it.
    Jana’s grandma was sitting at the kitchen table watching us. She was telling us aboutJana’s grandfather, who had died when Jana’s father was in high school. She was friendly and smiled a lot, which wasn’t at all what I had expected. I’d been terrified to ring her buzzer. Even Drew was scared, and he always acted like nothing could ever get to him. We were sure she was going to call the cops on us. But she didn’t. Instead she asked me and Drew and our moms to come in, and she made us tea. My mom was as nervous as I was, but it worked out okay. Jana’s grandma said that she was glad I’d returned her watch and her purse and that we could make up for everything else by doing some chores for her. I agreed for both of us before Drew could say anything.
    It turned out that I liked her. I liked listening to her talk about her brother and what it had been like reading all about the war in his letters and wondering all the time if he was okay. I also liked listening to her talk about what it had been like when she was raising Jana’s dad. Things sure had been different then.
    We finished washing all the cupboards. I put in the shelf paper, just like Jana’s grandma showed me. Then we started putting the dishes away. We had just finished when the