cheeks were red and she was smiling. She was so pretty, so endearing, that I couldn’t help but look at her for a minute or two. Who could she be?
Then it dawned on me. One of Shona’s daughters. Shona was blonde too. She had three, as far as I could remember. I didn’t know Shona well, she is a few years older than me, but I remember their mum, Elizabeth. She was very close to my gran and always so kind to me.
Jamie spotted me. He raised a hand and waved. I waved back, wondering if he’d recognized me, if I should go and say hello.
I stood there frozen, not really knowing what to do and not knowing why I felt so awkward.
He started walking towards me, a smile on his face, so I crossed the road and walked through the wee gate into the play park.
‘Eilidh!’
‘Jamie! How are you?’ We stood in front of each other, not sure of what to do. A hug? Not the Highland way. A kiss? Not in a million years. Shake hands? Continental but acceptable. We did that, awkwardly, laughing.
‘How are you? How long have you been in Glen Avich?’
‘About three weeks now. I moved back. From England I mean.’
‘And how’s Tom?’
Oh, here we go.
‘Jamie – to save both of us time and embarrassment – Tom and I separated.’
‘I’m sorry, Eilidh. I’m so sorry to hear that. My mum told me that you were having trouble … that you couldn’t ….’ he stumbled, ‘you know …’
‘Have children. Yes.’
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to …’
I shook my head, ‘It’s ok. Really. I’ve had all this since I came back. Sooner or later everybody will move on, the commiseration will stop and I’ll be just Eilidh again.’
Jamie smiled.
His black hair, his blue-grey eyes, his fair skin … Apart from a copper-coloured five o’clock shadow, he looked just like the boy I used to know.
The wee blonde girl had climbed down and was now on the swings, her lovely long hair floating behind her.
‘And how’s your mum? I haven’t seen her yet, Peggy hasn’t mentioned her either.’
The smile faded from his face.
I blushed. I knew what his expression meant.
‘Oh, Jamie …’ I started.
‘She died three years ago.’
‘I’m so sorry. Oh, I’m so, so sorry.’ I felt my eyes well up. Elizabeth, gone.
A sudden memory came into my head. A vision of the past …
I was sitting at the McAnenas’ kitchen table. Jamie and I were doing our homework and Elizabeth had just made us toast and jam. She stood behind us to check our maths assignment and put her arm around my shoulders, and I, not used to a mother doing this kind of thing, had soaked up the affection like a flower soaks up water.
Elizabeth.
I blinked, once, twice, to dry up the tears.
‘All we’ve been saying since we met is “I’m sorry’‘!’ smiled Jamie. ‘There, this will cheer you up. Come and meet Maisie.’
‘Oh, sure, which one is she? She must be the third, I think the eldest is about twelve now, isn’t she?’
Jamie looked confused.
‘What? The thirdm … oh, I see what you mean! No, Maisie’s not one of Shona’s daughters. She’s mine.’
‘Oh …’ I was going to ask about Maisie’s mum but the girl had run to us and was holding Jamie’s hand. She looked at me with a smile.
‘Hello,’ she said. Now that I saw her face properly, I could see her blue-grey eyes, exactly like Jamie’s.
‘Hello, Maisie. I’m Eilidh.’ I bent down and held out my hand. ‘Nice to meet you.’
‘I was riding on Rainbow,’ she said, in her wee silvery voice.
‘You were riding on the rainbow? How lovely,’ I said.
‘Nooo silly! Not on the rainbow! On Rainbow!’
I looked at Jamie, baffled.
‘Rainbow, her imaginary pony,’ explained Jamie.
‘Oh, I see. You were riding your pony. Maybe one day we can go on a real one, you and me. I love horse riding. I used to do it all the time when I was your age.’
Maisie’s face lit up. ‘Really? We can?’
‘If your dad’s ok with it, I can take you up to the Ramsay
Then it dawned on me. One of Shona’s daughters. Shona was blonde too. She had three, as far as I could remember. I didn’t know Shona well, she is a few years older than me, but I remember their mum, Elizabeth. She was very close to my gran and always so kind to me.
Jamie spotted me. He raised a hand and waved. I waved back, wondering if he’d recognized me, if I should go and say hello.
I stood there frozen, not really knowing what to do and not knowing why I felt so awkward.
He started walking towards me, a smile on his face, so I crossed the road and walked through the wee gate into the play park.
‘Eilidh!’
‘Jamie! How are you?’ We stood in front of each other, not sure of what to do. A hug? Not the Highland way. A kiss? Not in a million years. Shake hands? Continental but acceptable. We did that, awkwardly, laughing.
‘How are you? How long have you been in Glen Avich?’
‘About three weeks now. I moved back. From England I mean.’
‘And how’s Tom?’
Oh, here we go.
‘Jamie – to save both of us time and embarrassment – Tom and I separated.’
‘I’m sorry, Eilidh. I’m so sorry to hear that. My mum told me that you were having trouble … that you couldn’t ….’ he stumbled, ‘you know …’
‘Have children. Yes.’
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to …’
I shook my head, ‘It’s ok. Really. I’ve had all this since I came back. Sooner or later everybody will move on, the commiseration will stop and I’ll be just Eilidh again.’
Jamie smiled.
His black hair, his blue-grey eyes, his fair skin … Apart from a copper-coloured five o’clock shadow, he looked just like the boy I used to know.
The wee blonde girl had climbed down and was now on the swings, her lovely long hair floating behind her.
‘And how’s your mum? I haven’t seen her yet, Peggy hasn’t mentioned her either.’
The smile faded from his face.
I blushed. I knew what his expression meant.
‘Oh, Jamie …’ I started.
‘She died three years ago.’
‘I’m so sorry. Oh, I’m so, so sorry.’ I felt my eyes well up. Elizabeth, gone.
A sudden memory came into my head. A vision of the past …
I was sitting at the McAnenas’ kitchen table. Jamie and I were doing our homework and Elizabeth had just made us toast and jam. She stood behind us to check our maths assignment and put her arm around my shoulders, and I, not used to a mother doing this kind of thing, had soaked up the affection like a flower soaks up water.
Elizabeth.
I blinked, once, twice, to dry up the tears.
‘All we’ve been saying since we met is “I’m sorry’‘!’ smiled Jamie. ‘There, this will cheer you up. Come and meet Maisie.’
‘Oh, sure, which one is she? She must be the third, I think the eldest is about twelve now, isn’t she?’
Jamie looked confused.
‘What? The thirdm … oh, I see what you mean! No, Maisie’s not one of Shona’s daughters. She’s mine.’
‘Oh …’ I was going to ask about Maisie’s mum but the girl had run to us and was holding Jamie’s hand. She looked at me with a smile.
‘Hello,’ she said. Now that I saw her face properly, I could see her blue-grey eyes, exactly like Jamie’s.
‘Hello, Maisie. I’m Eilidh.’ I bent down and held out my hand. ‘Nice to meet you.’
‘I was riding on Rainbow,’ she said, in her wee silvery voice.
‘You were riding on the rainbow? How lovely,’ I said.
‘Nooo silly! Not on the rainbow! On Rainbow!’
I looked at Jamie, baffled.
‘Rainbow, her imaginary pony,’ explained Jamie.
‘Oh, I see. You were riding your pony. Maybe one day we can go on a real one, you and me. I love horse riding. I used to do it all the time when I was your age.’
Maisie’s face lit up. ‘Really? We can?’
‘If your dad’s ok with it, I can take you up to the Ramsay
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