God, you totally just quoted Star Wars! You, my friend, go straight to the
top of the awesome list," Meg tells him with a big smile as she moves next to me and
wraps her left arm around my shoulder and clamps her right hand tightly over my mouth.
"Addison would love to teach you how to bake. The shop closes at six-thirty tonight,
so be here by six-forty-five. Just knock on the back door."
I struggle against Meg's arm and try to talk around her hand against my mouth, but
she's not having any of it. She tightens her hold and brings the heel of her boot
down on top of my toe. I let out a squeak of pain from behind her hand and shoot her
a dirty look with my eyes.
Zander looks back and forth between us and laughs.
"Well, that's very nice of Addison to offer her services. Meg, could you tell her
that I greatly appreciate it and I will be here at six-forty-five on the dot?"
He winks and smiles at me before bringing the cup of coffee up to his mouth and taking
a sip. I forget about struggling and I sag against Meg as we both watch him get off
of the stool, turn, and walk out of the shop.
"That guy has a great ass," Meg says softly with a sigh, her hand still over my mouth
having forgotten to remove it because she's too busy staring at all that pretty. I
just nod my head silently in agreement to her ass statement. We both stand there in
a daze, staring at the door he just walked through until the timer goes off on one
of the ovens and the reality of what Meg just did hits me like a two-by-four to the
face. I bang my hip into hers and elbow her in the side until she drops her arms from
around me with an irritated shout of pain.
"Hey, what was that for?" she complains as she rubs her side.
"Are you kidding me? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?" I whisper yell at her so the customers
won't hear my outburst. "Why would you do that? Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!"
Meg rolls her eyes at me as I start pacing back and forth behind the counter, wondering
how quickly I can get a passport and leave the country.
"Seriously, chill out. He's just a guy. A very cute guy who obviously likes you. All
morning you've been walking around here in a creeptastic cloud of happiness and it's
because of HIM."
She walks over and stands directly in front of me so I have to stop my manic pacing
and stare at her.
"You and I both know that life sucks. At any minute something crappy could happen,
and the two of us just sit around just waiting for the crappy and expecting it. When
something good happens, we have to reach out and grab it, otherwise our lives will
turn into one giant run-on sentence of daily sucks. I'm tired of the sucks, Addy.
Come on, be tired of the sucks with me."
She wags her eyebrows at me, and I let out a sigh.
"Come on, all your friends are doing it," she says with a laugh as she reaches out
and shoves my shoulder.
I chuckle at her exuberance as she skips around me and heads back into the kitchen
to remove the cupcakes—that are probably burnt now—from the oven.
She's right. I know she's right. Life is a daily crapshoot and you never know what's
going to happen next. I used to love the thrill of never knowing what life would bring
and the excitement of waking up to a brand new day and all of the possibilities. Now
I spend each day full of dread that something bad will happen. I wake up each morning
wondering what will go wrong next. I don't enjoy the little things anymore because
I know something bigger will come along that will swallow up those little things and
make them disappear like they were never there. What's the point in enjoying those
little things when they'll be gone soon?
I don't know if Zander is a little thing or a big thing: a possibility or a liability.
I've made sure to keep the guessing game out of life by shutting off my emotions and
just doing what I need to do to make it through each day. I'm suddenly very aware
of how empty my life
top of the awesome list," Meg tells him with a big smile as she moves next to me and
wraps her left arm around my shoulder and clamps her right hand tightly over my mouth.
"Addison would love to teach you how to bake. The shop closes at six-thirty tonight,
so be here by six-forty-five. Just knock on the back door."
I struggle against Meg's arm and try to talk around her hand against my mouth, but
she's not having any of it. She tightens her hold and brings the heel of her boot
down on top of my toe. I let out a squeak of pain from behind her hand and shoot her
a dirty look with my eyes.
Zander looks back and forth between us and laughs.
"Well, that's very nice of Addison to offer her services. Meg, could you tell her
that I greatly appreciate it and I will be here at six-forty-five on the dot?"
He winks and smiles at me before bringing the cup of coffee up to his mouth and taking
a sip. I forget about struggling and I sag against Meg as we both watch him get off
of the stool, turn, and walk out of the shop.
"That guy has a great ass," Meg says softly with a sigh, her hand still over my mouth
having forgotten to remove it because she's too busy staring at all that pretty. I
just nod my head silently in agreement to her ass statement. We both stand there in
a daze, staring at the door he just walked through until the timer goes off on one
of the ovens and the reality of what Meg just did hits me like a two-by-four to the
face. I bang my hip into hers and elbow her in the side until she drops her arms from
around me with an irritated shout of pain.
"Hey, what was that for?" she complains as she rubs her side.
"Are you kidding me? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?" I whisper yell at her so the customers
won't hear my outburst. "Why would you do that? Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!"
Meg rolls her eyes at me as I start pacing back and forth behind the counter, wondering
how quickly I can get a passport and leave the country.
"Seriously, chill out. He's just a guy. A very cute guy who obviously likes you. All
morning you've been walking around here in a creeptastic cloud of happiness and it's
because of HIM."
She walks over and stands directly in front of me so I have to stop my manic pacing
and stare at her.
"You and I both know that life sucks. At any minute something crappy could happen,
and the two of us just sit around just waiting for the crappy and expecting it. When
something good happens, we have to reach out and grab it, otherwise our lives will
turn into one giant run-on sentence of daily sucks. I'm tired of the sucks, Addy.
Come on, be tired of the sucks with me."
She wags her eyebrows at me, and I let out a sigh.
"Come on, all your friends are doing it," she says with a laugh as she reaches out
and shoves my shoulder.
I chuckle at her exuberance as she skips around me and heads back into the kitchen
to remove the cupcakes—that are probably burnt now—from the oven.
She's right. I know she's right. Life is a daily crapshoot and you never know what's
going to happen next. I used to love the thrill of never knowing what life would bring
and the excitement of waking up to a brand new day and all of the possibilities. Now
I spend each day full of dread that something bad will happen. I wake up each morning
wondering what will go wrong next. I don't enjoy the little things anymore because
I know something bigger will come along that will swallow up those little things and
make them disappear like they were never there. What's the point in enjoying those
little things when they'll be gone soon?
I don't know if Zander is a little thing or a big thing: a possibility or a liability.
I've made sure to keep the guessing game out of life by shutting off my emotions and
just doing what I need to do to make it through each day. I'm suddenly very aware
of how empty my life
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