took great delight in brushing her teeth for the first time in two days. Maybe she was being too hard on the man, she decided. He was going out of his way to make them comfortable, and it was none of her business what he did with his personal life. He’d worked tirelessly throughout the day to get the town back on its feet, despite the fact that he’d never wanted the job. She had to give him credit for that.
For her, helping others had been a conscious act of meeting her own needs. With her parents so heavily involved in their medical-supply business, which took them all over the country, she’d spent a lot of time with baby-sitters and nannies. And without brothers and sisters, there was a certain amount of loneliness involved. She’d admired her parents’ business skills, but she’d been more impressed with the doctors and nurses she met through their dealings and the gentle one-on-one relationships that existed between the medical professionals and their patients.
Her parents had suggested medical school, which they were certainly able to afford, but she had not been interested in becoming a doctor, who was, in her opinion, a mere figurehead of the medical profession. It was the nurses who made the difference, she decided. They were the ones who did all the hand-holding, who soothed patients’ fears and reassured them in the middle of the night. By becoming a nurse, she had fulfilled both other people’s needs and her own.
It was only later that Michelle realized it wasn’t enough. Jeffrey Rigby was fresh out of medical school, ready to conquer the world. He wasn’t hardened like the older doctors—he genuinely cared about his patients. Michelle had caught him crying in the supply room once after losing a young boy he had tried to revive. It had drawn them closer together. So close, in fact, that he often turned to her with his problems. She was only too glad to be there for him. He gave so much of himself that it was only fitting she console him and be his anchor of support when things got tough. And when he’d kissed her one morning after a particularly grueling night in emergency, the bond had grown stronger.
This was love, she decided. It didn’t matter that there weren’t fireworks or bells going off in her head. It was two human beings connecting. It did not matter that their lovemaking was not the stuff that made up erotic romance literature. It was gentle and pleasurable, like a soothing balm to a weary soul. And when he’d confessed his brief fling with the nurse in radiology, she’d tried to forgive him. When he’d told her about the baby and his decision to marry the woman, she’d had no choice but to break off their relationship. Still, she’d remained his friend. The pain in his eyes was proof that he’d suffered enough. She’d had to put away the hurt and concentrate on being strong, his “tower of strength,” as he often called her. There would be no more intimacy, she told him, because her sense of right and wrong would not allow it. But she would always be there for him to talk to.
In the beginning it had been difficult. She had dreamed of a future with him. They had common interests and goals, and they both wanted children one day. Now another woman would carry those children. It wasn’t fair, Michelle told herself, when she passed the woman in the nurses’ lounge or hallway, watching her waistline thicken with each passing month. She had not realized until then how much she longed for a child, to have the family she’d never had growing up. But it was not to be. Thankfully, the pain had eased over the ensuing months, but not the feeling of rejection and betrayal. She would not make the same mistake again.
When Michelle finally came out of the bathroom, she found Reba already in bed, fast asleep. She changed into the cotton shirt Gator had given her and laughed at the size of it. The hem almost reached her knees, and the sleeves were at least six inches too long. She rolled
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