abused you both so he’ll never get unsupervised custody. We’ll figure it out, but the important thing right now is to keep her away from him.”
She shook her head slightly. “You’d do this for me?”
“I’m doing it for Jacqueline,” I said. “And, I guess, for you too.”
“I’m so scared, Lainey.” Sydney made a strange hiccuping sound, then suddenly rose and bent over me, perfume like a halo around us both, wrapping me into a tight, bony hug.
I looked out at the room over Sydney’s shoulder, feeling numb. It seemed strange, broken into parts like a collage, furniture pinned on a flat background and two girl-women taped haphazardly on top. Women with no history, their simple needs just as two-dimensional as the room around them. Impossible to believe that the stronger, surer one was me.
“You told her what?” Star asked.
I glanced at the baby. She was sitting on the floor by our feet, sucking contemplatively on a quartz crystal from Star’s altar. Jacqueline was an awful name for a baby; it put too much pressure on her. Babies should be named Kimmy or Meggie or Molly. “How d’you like the name Molly?” I said. “Just as a nickname.”
“Come on, Lainey, you can’t be serious.”
“Come here, Molly! Sweetie Molly. Do you spell it with an i-e or a y?”
“You’re going to hide the baby away from her own father? Isn’t that criminal?”
I glanced at her, then reached for the baby. “Sydney said he abuses her, Ma. She says he’s burned her.”
Star stared at me, her eyes round, then looked down at the baby as if waiting for it to give her some confirmation.
“The bruises on Sydney’s face today? David did that to her. He’s been abusing her and now he’s turned to Jacqueline, so Sydney has to keep her away, okay? It makes sense to leave her with me because I’m the last person anyone might expect to do Sydney any favors.”
“I don’t know, I don’t know, Lainey, there’s going to be trouble around this. My intuition’s saying she’s not telling you something,and you know how good my intuition is. There’s something not right about this.”
“Screw your intuition, I’m trying to keep a baby safe from her abusive father! You could be a little more compassionate here. I was thinking you might be able to watch her while I’m working, you’d like that, and then I could take over. Sydney’ll come by every night after work, and it’s only for a few days until we figure out how to prove David’s abused her. It’s the right thing to do, Ma, at least for now.”
“Let me do a reading.”
“Not on this. I don’t care what the cards tell you.” I pulled the baby up onto my lap, and tickled my lips against her hair.
Star watched me carefully. “She’s not your child, Lainey.”
“Don’t you think I know that?”
“Intellectually maybe you know it.” Star walked to her drawer. “I’m doing a reading.”
“Do it on yourself,” I said, striding to the hall, realizing how childish I sounded but not caring.
I walked downstairs with Jacqueline … with
Molly
and sat with her on the sofa, lifting the spinach block Sydney had left behind. Other than taking care of Star, what good had I ever done in the world? But now I felt like a different person than I’d been just hours ago, sturdier, so much more purposeful.
Molly made a pleading sound and I studied her face, trying to interpret it. Was she hungry? I looked in the diaper bag Sydney had left. There was a bottle half-filled with apple juice, a pacifier and four diapers. Would that be enough till tomorrow when Sydney came by with more? No, probably not, and depending on how bad things got with David she might not even want to risk coming here right away. I’d have to buy little things, a change of clothes and more diapers, baby food, maybe plastic plates with cartoon characters. In the store, ladies would look at me and smile like they did at pregnant women, that inclusive smile like I was carrying on their
She shook her head slightly. “You’d do this for me?”
“I’m doing it for Jacqueline,” I said. “And, I guess, for you too.”
“I’m so scared, Lainey.” Sydney made a strange hiccuping sound, then suddenly rose and bent over me, perfume like a halo around us both, wrapping me into a tight, bony hug.
I looked out at the room over Sydney’s shoulder, feeling numb. It seemed strange, broken into parts like a collage, furniture pinned on a flat background and two girl-women taped haphazardly on top. Women with no history, their simple needs just as two-dimensional as the room around them. Impossible to believe that the stronger, surer one was me.
“You told her what?” Star asked.
I glanced at the baby. She was sitting on the floor by our feet, sucking contemplatively on a quartz crystal from Star’s altar. Jacqueline was an awful name for a baby; it put too much pressure on her. Babies should be named Kimmy or Meggie or Molly. “How d’you like the name Molly?” I said. “Just as a nickname.”
“Come on, Lainey, you can’t be serious.”
“Come here, Molly! Sweetie Molly. Do you spell it with an i-e or a y?”
“You’re going to hide the baby away from her own father? Isn’t that criminal?”
I glanced at her, then reached for the baby. “Sydney said he abuses her, Ma. She says he’s burned her.”
Star stared at me, her eyes round, then looked down at the baby as if waiting for it to give her some confirmation.
“The bruises on Sydney’s face today? David did that to her. He’s been abusing her and now he’s turned to Jacqueline, so Sydney has to keep her away, okay? It makes sense to leave her with me because I’m the last person anyone might expect to do Sydney any favors.”
“I don’t know, I don’t know, Lainey, there’s going to be trouble around this. My intuition’s saying she’s not telling you something,and you know how good my intuition is. There’s something not right about this.”
“Screw your intuition, I’m trying to keep a baby safe from her abusive father! You could be a little more compassionate here. I was thinking you might be able to watch her while I’m working, you’d like that, and then I could take over. Sydney’ll come by every night after work, and it’s only for a few days until we figure out how to prove David’s abused her. It’s the right thing to do, Ma, at least for now.”
“Let me do a reading.”
“Not on this. I don’t care what the cards tell you.” I pulled the baby up onto my lap, and tickled my lips against her hair.
Star watched me carefully. “She’s not your child, Lainey.”
“Don’t you think I know that?”
“Intellectually maybe you know it.” Star walked to her drawer. “I’m doing a reading.”
“Do it on yourself,” I said, striding to the hall, realizing how childish I sounded but not caring.
I walked downstairs with Jacqueline … with
Molly
and sat with her on the sofa, lifting the spinach block Sydney had left behind. Other than taking care of Star, what good had I ever done in the world? But now I felt like a different person than I’d been just hours ago, sturdier, so much more purposeful.
Molly made a pleading sound and I studied her face, trying to interpret it. Was she hungry? I looked in the diaper bag Sydney had left. There was a bottle half-filled with apple juice, a pacifier and four diapers. Would that be enough till tomorrow when Sydney came by with more? No, probably not, and depending on how bad things got with David she might not even want to risk coming here right away. I’d have to buy little things, a change of clothes and more diapers, baby food, maybe plastic plates with cartoon characters. In the store, ladies would look at me and smile like they did at pregnant women, that inclusive smile like I was carrying on their
Similar Books
