Where We Left Off by J. Alex Blane Page B

the thought was, he found a sense of humor in it one that made him realize he was far more infatuated than he thought. 
    As passing streetlights neared him closer to home, he convinced himself that Sydney was nothing more than a desire; a lust without thought or feeling, nothing more than he’d felt before with any other girl who’d piqued his interest.  After all, he thought, approaching his driveway, just up the walk beyond the doors that gated his home was a woman lying in wait, unclothed in the darkness that surrounded her and familiar to his touch, familiar to his wanting of nothing more than what she was giving, familiar to his coldness.  He walked into his house and up the stairs without turning on the lights or even locking the door behind him.   He pushed open his door slowly and there was Erika, lying in his bed, barely covered by the sheets.   His gaze was distracted, neither admiring the idea of what was about to take place or the parts of her body he was able to see by the light peeking into the room.  He barely looked at her at all. She hadn’t even noticed.  He took his clothes off, skipping all the formalities of foreplay all the pleasantries of what he would usually say and do and gave her exactly what she wanted, nothing more and nothing less.  For the first time, he felt completely separated from his desire to sexually please her. He did, but it was more out of obligation, than actually wanting to.
    “Oh my God!” she exhaled, falling on top of him.  “Wherever your head is at, you need to keep it there cause’ that …was amazing!”
    He laughed, thinking she couldn’t have been more wrong.  Maybe it was amazing to her, but he barely noticed.               
    She rolled off of him, pulling the sheets just above her shoulders to warm her body from the chill that settled in the air.  Mason hadn’t moved an inch.  Regardless of the chill that fell across his drying body, he lay in his bed as if nothing had happened at all.  Erika gave no thought to it; this was nothing new to her.  But to Mason this was very new.  Not so much the distance, but rather, … why?  Why this time felt so different.  From the time he left The Avenue, or maybe it was from the time he’d seen Sydney, his why became more intertwined with her.  Why he second guessed the decision he was making to come home, why he barely felt a thing lying beside Erika, and why in just a few minutes he was about to get up and leave his bedroom.  He glanced over at Erika and back to the ceiling where his eyes had been fixed for the last twenty minutes. 
    “Are you thirsty?” he asked softly, hoping she had fallen asleep.
    She had. Moving to the sound of his voice, she said nothing while clenching the covers even tighter to her body.  Mason laughed to himself quietly, getting out of the bed to head downstairs.  He wrapped a towel around his waist and left the room. 
    He felt an awkward sense of relief pulling the door closed behind him, not in the mood to look back or even wanting to.  There was something about the absence of sound blending with the night dimming his home that felt comforting; just enough to clear his mind.
    He poured a drink, slowly watching it consume the two ice cubes at the bottom of his glass.  Just as they faded into the brown of his drink, his mind back to The Avenue and Sydney. The way she walked, the way she laughed with her friends, the way she pushed her hair back behind her ear.  I must be going crazy, he thought to himself, staring at his cell phone beside his wallet.  Despite the fact that Erika was upstairs asleep and how late it was, he actually wanted to call her. 
    He leaned forward in his chair, opened his wallet to the business card he had tucked away behind his driver’s license, and there it was.  Holding his cell phone in one hand and her number in the other, something in him knew that if he dialed it and she answered everything would change.  More than that,