want us all to hang out.”
Will is Parker’s best friend, she says. Parker thinks it makes sense that Will and I would be willing to at least try to get along. She tells me about the party on Saturday at Mia’s house. “You have to come. It’s a group thing. Totally safe.”
Now I have to be entertaining. At a party. With Will as my date.
“You’re not talking,” Jillian says.
“Did he kiss you?”
She shakes her head.
“But you wanted him to kiss you?”
“I think you need a cupcake.” When she returns from the kitchen she’s got the rest of the package, a notepad, and a pen. As I eat one cupcake a second, she writes on the notepad. Finished, she slides it towards me:
If a = b and b = c, then also a = c.
“What is transitive relation? Ninth-grade math.” If I had a buzzer, I’d have buzzed in.
“So …” Jillian says in her sweetest, most patient voice. “If Chantal (a) likes Jillian (b) and Jillian (b) likes Parker (c), then Chantal (a) will also like Parker (c).”
It drives me crazy when she does this.
“He asked me out for a second date. And I want to go. To Mia’s party. And I want you to go, too.” I read her mind. She feels sorry for me because I am backward. I care more about cleaning up than having fun. What if she’s right? This is the wonderful thing about having a best friend like Jillian. She gently leads me through the dark when I am most afraid. And she is my best friend. I know I can trust her.
“Okay. Here are the conditions of my attendance.” I try to stay calm even though I know I’m agreeing to something I would never agree to otherwise. “I’ll go as long as you never leave me alone. Never. You
go to the bathroom, I go. I need to get some air, so do you. We are together at all times.”
“We’re going to be at the same party.” She laughs until she realizes I’m serious. “Okay. Okay.” She crosses to my side of the hallway, lifts a cupcake from the package for each of us, and puts her arm around me. “I’ll never leave you.”
Will
Central Control .
H appified. With iPhone in pocket, energy drink in hand, I head up to my room: central control. Parker pulled off part one. Part two and beyond are up to me.
I fire up my laptop, log in on Facebook, and click through to the events page. Saturday Night Smash-Up. I type the words next to event name. Tagline: Everyone is going to be there. Correction: Everyone who needs to be there is going to be there. I add some emoticons the girls like and hit enter. Before I’ve drained my drink, everyone I’ve invited will accept, and Saturday night will be smashin’.
My Facebook inbox lights up with confirmed attendances. I text Mia. She texts me, asks if I’m bringing anyone. Chantal, I text. Her text back: WTF!
Chantal and me. The shock on people’s faces. Killer. Parker nearly crapped his pants when I proposed the challenge and then ended up with Chantal. He said there was no way I would be able to complete it. We agreed I was handicapped so we made some adjustments to level the playing field. Adjustment one: Parker had to get Jillian to get Chantal on a double date with me. The enemy.
Stupid boy stuff started it, boogers on her arm when she told our third-grade teacher I copied the answers off Parker’s math paper. The way she came unhinged was as addictive as shooting grouse in
the bush. I’ve tortured her ever since and she is 100 percent compliant in the freakin’ out department. I swear I even missed her during the summer when it was only Parker, lime popsicles, and me.
My mom bought me a bike the summer after fourth grade and I was at Parker’s house from after breakfast to dinnertime, hiding out from my father, otherwise known as the Ogre. Parker’s mom said I was like brother number five. Becoming blood brothers in the lean-to fort we made in the woods near his house was awesome but expected. The man challenges? Superlative.
Picture it. There we were, blood dripping off our palms because I cut
Will is Parker’s best friend, she says. Parker thinks it makes sense that Will and I would be willing to at least try to get along. She tells me about the party on Saturday at Mia’s house. “You have to come. It’s a group thing. Totally safe.”
Now I have to be entertaining. At a party. With Will as my date.
“You’re not talking,” Jillian says.
“Did he kiss you?”
She shakes her head.
“But you wanted him to kiss you?”
“I think you need a cupcake.” When she returns from the kitchen she’s got the rest of the package, a notepad, and a pen. As I eat one cupcake a second, she writes on the notepad. Finished, she slides it towards me:
If a = b and b = c, then also a = c.
“What is transitive relation? Ninth-grade math.” If I had a buzzer, I’d have buzzed in.
“So …” Jillian says in her sweetest, most patient voice. “If Chantal (a) likes Jillian (b) and Jillian (b) likes Parker (c), then Chantal (a) will also like Parker (c).”
It drives me crazy when she does this.
“He asked me out for a second date. And I want to go. To Mia’s party. And I want you to go, too.” I read her mind. She feels sorry for me because I am backward. I care more about cleaning up than having fun. What if she’s right? This is the wonderful thing about having a best friend like Jillian. She gently leads me through the dark when I am most afraid. And she is my best friend. I know I can trust her.
“Okay. Here are the conditions of my attendance.” I try to stay calm even though I know I’m agreeing to something I would never agree to otherwise. “I’ll go as long as you never leave me alone. Never. You
go to the bathroom, I go. I need to get some air, so do you. We are together at all times.”
“We’re going to be at the same party.” She laughs until she realizes I’m serious. “Okay. Okay.” She crosses to my side of the hallway, lifts a cupcake from the package for each of us, and puts her arm around me. “I’ll never leave you.”
Will
Central Control .
H appified. With iPhone in pocket, energy drink in hand, I head up to my room: central control. Parker pulled off part one. Part two and beyond are up to me.
I fire up my laptop, log in on Facebook, and click through to the events page. Saturday Night Smash-Up. I type the words next to event name. Tagline: Everyone is going to be there. Correction: Everyone who needs to be there is going to be there. I add some emoticons the girls like and hit enter. Before I’ve drained my drink, everyone I’ve invited will accept, and Saturday night will be smashin’.
My Facebook inbox lights up with confirmed attendances. I text Mia. She texts me, asks if I’m bringing anyone. Chantal, I text. Her text back: WTF!
Chantal and me. The shock on people’s faces. Killer. Parker nearly crapped his pants when I proposed the challenge and then ended up with Chantal. He said there was no way I would be able to complete it. We agreed I was handicapped so we made some adjustments to level the playing field. Adjustment one: Parker had to get Jillian to get Chantal on a double date with me. The enemy.
Stupid boy stuff started it, boogers on her arm when she told our third-grade teacher I copied the answers off Parker’s math paper. The way she came unhinged was as addictive as shooting grouse in
the bush. I’ve tortured her ever since and she is 100 percent compliant in the freakin’ out department. I swear I even missed her during the summer when it was only Parker, lime popsicles, and me.
My mom bought me a bike the summer after fourth grade and I was at Parker’s house from after breakfast to dinnertime, hiding out from my father, otherwise known as the Ogre. Parker’s mom said I was like brother number five. Becoming blood brothers in the lean-to fort we made in the woods near his house was awesome but expected. The man challenges? Superlative.
Picture it. There we were, blood dripping off our palms because I cut
Similar Books
