It’ll be so nice to have good weather. I always thought Ryan was smart to go to college in California. Maybe you might want to transfer to a warmer climate. That might make school better for you?”
We hadn’t really talked about why school was bad for me. But I guess it didn’t take a genius to figure out it wasn’t going swimmingly if I was suddenly taking a leave of absence and heading to Florida.
“I don’t know. We’ll see.” I couldn’t think beyond April right now. Getting to Florida and getting my relationship with Chris back on track was about the only thing on my radar. “Do you think you’d ever move somewhere warmer?” I asked her.
More than anything, she loved being out in our yard, with all her bird feeders and roosting boxes, watching birds. But in the winter there weren’t as many birds to watch. Somewhere warmer she’d have more varieties of birds all year round.
“I don’t think I could move,” she said.
I understood why she wasn’t the type of person who could pick up and move across the country. But not much beyond birds made her happy so it was hard to hear that she couldn’t move even if it would mean two times more happiness.
“What about coming to Florida to visit me?” I spoke the words before I’d had a chance to really think about them, to think about how insane what I was proposing was. Mom had a hard time going to the grocery store. She wasn’t going to be getting on a plane.
“I would love to see a purple gallinule,” she said.
I had expected her to say no. To come up with the usual excuses. “So come. You could see the horse show, meet Chris, watch Logan… and see birds. Tons of birds, I’m sure.”
Mom smiled. “Maybe I will.”
I felt a flutter of hopefulness. Of excitement. Would she actually come to visit? Maybe her desire to see me, or even to see birds, would outweigh her anxiety.
She clicked over to her blog, Feathered Friends, to look at the comments other bird-crazy people had left her. “Oh, look what BirdLover89 said…”
I stood behind her and watched her for a few moments. She leaned close to the computer, chuckling at some comment by another bird-friend. Did these other bird people leave their homes? Did they have lives?
I knew that Mom would never come to Florida. She couldn’t handle the airport, the flight, even if she would get to see spectacular birds. I felt sad for having thought she would ever be able to come—and stupid too. Wasn’t I old enough to know that things didn’t change just because you wanted them to?
Chapter 9
I took an uber to the airport and boarded the plane, leaving behind the frigid New England weather for sunny Florida. Twelve weeks with Chris lay ahead.
The grayness was gone even before the plane landed. Out the small oval plane window were a blue sky and plump white clouds. Actual blue—pretty, charming, hopeful blue. No more blocks of sky the color of smog. And there were rays of sun! As we started our descent some people pulled on their sunglasses. I was sitting near the wing and the sun was glinting off the metal. Then, as we came closer to landing, I saw green. Grass, trees. No monotonous layer of dirty snow. The first palm trees I saw were along the runway as we touched down.
“Welcome to the North Pole,” the steward cracked over the PA, fulfilling that newly-found need for airlines to live up to their zany commercials and also offer in-flight comic relief.
Everyone chuckled. This was far from the North Pole.
Linda had asked whether she should pick me up at the airport but I told her Chris would. I came down the escalator to the few obligatory men in suits holding placards with the names of the people they were waiting for. I guess a part of me that had seen one too many romantic comedies hoped that Chris might be waiting for me with a sign that said HANNAH or even I LOVE YOU HANNAH! But that was pretty silly. In fact, Chris texted me and said he was in his car waiting outside. I
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