Wish You Were Here by Rita Mae Brown Page B

quite like it—have you?”
    â€œNever.”

5
    Even Mrs. George Hogendobber’s impassioned monologue on the evils of this world failed to rouse Mrs. Murphy and Tucker. Before Mrs. Hogendobber had both feet through the front door she had declared that Adam fell from grace over the apple, then man broke the covenant with God, a flood cleansed us by killing everyone but Noah and family, Moses couldn’t prevent his flock from worshipping the golden calf, and Jezebel was on every street corner, to say nothing of record covers. These pronouncements were not necessarily in historical order but there was a clear thread woven throughout: We are by nature sinful and unclean. This, naturally, led to Kelly Craycroft’s death. Mrs. H. sidestepped revealing exactly how Hebrew history as set down in the Old Testament culminated in the extinction of a paving contractor.
    Harry figured if Mrs. Hogendobber could live with her logical lacunae, so could she.
    Tossing her junk mail in the wastebasket, Mrs. Hogendobber spoke exhaustingly of Holofernes and Judith. Before reaching their gruesome biblical conclusion she paused, a rarity in itself, walked over to the counter, and glanced over. “Where are the animals?”
    â€œOut cold. Lazy things,” Harry answered. “In fact, they were so sluggish this morning that I drove them to work.”
    â€œYou spoil those creatures, Harry, and you need a new truck.”
    â€œGuilty as charged.”
    Josiah entered as Harry uttered the word
guilty
.
    â€œI knew it was you all along.” He pointed at Harry. The soft pink of his Ralph Lauren polo shirt accented his tan.
    â€œYou shouldn’t joke about a thing like that.” Mrs. Hogendobber’s nostrils flared.
    â€œOh, come now, Mrs. Hogendobber, I’m not joking about the Craycroft murder. You’re oversensitive. We all are. It’s been a terrible shock.”
    â€œIndeed it has. Indeed it has. Put not thy faith in worldly things, Mr. DeWitt.”
    Josiah beamed at her. “I’m afraid I do, ma’am. In a world of impermanence I take the best impermanence I can find.”
    A swirl of color rose on Mrs. Hogendobber’s beautifully preserved cheeks. “You’re witty and sought-after and too clever by half. People like you come to a bad end.”
    â€œPerhaps, but think of the fun I’ll have getting there, and I really can’t see that you’re having any fun at all.”
    â€œI will not stand here and be insulted.” Mrs. Hogendobber’s color glowed crimson.
    â€œOh, come on, Mrs. H., you don’t walk on water,” Josiah coolly replied.
    â€œExactly! I can’t swim.” Her color deepened. She felt the insult keenly; she would never think of comparing herself to Jesus. She turned to Harry. “Good day, Harry.” With forced dignity, Mrs. Hogendobber left the post office.
    â€œGood day, Mrs. Hogendobber.” Harry turned to the howling Josiah. “She has absolutely no sense of humor and you’re too hard on her. She’s quite upset. What seems a trifle to you is major to her.”
    â€œOh, hell, Harry, she bores you every bit as much as she bores me. Truth?”
    Harry wasn’t looking for an argument. She was conversant with Mrs. Hogendobber’s faults and the woman did bore her to tears, but Mrs. Hogendobber was fundamentally good. You couldn’t say that about everybody.
    â€œJosiah, her values are spiritual and yours aren’t. She’s overbearing and narrow-minded about religion but if I were sick and called her at three in the morning, she’d be there.”
    â€œWell”—his color was brighter now, too—“I hope you know I would come over too. You only have to ask. I value you highly, Harry.”
    â€œThank you, Josiah.” Harry wondered if he valued her at all.
    â€œDid I tell you I am to be Mrs. Sanburne’s walker for the funeral? It’s not Newport