of the way I used to sit on my little brother before he was big enough to win in our occasional altercations.
It was clear I wasn’t going to crawl out from underneath her.
I expected her to bite my throat. That’s what she said she was going to do. Instead, she lay on top of me, pinning me to the ground while I wore myself out trying to escape.
I was laughing the entire time.
Finally I lay back, exhausted. “You win.”
And that was when she lowered my mouth to me. She moved slowly, very slowly, and it was clear what she was going to do long before she opened her mouth.
And wrapped her teeth over my throat.
I stopped laughing. Her breath was hot against my skin, and I could feel her teeth just beginning to press against me.
I didn’t struggle. I froze entirely. It wasn’t scary. It should have been scary. It was, however, deeply, deeply intimidating.
Slowly, she began to tighten her jaws.
I thought she would tighten just a little, symbolically perhaps. But she held me pinned, and her jaws tightened, and then a little tighter, and a little tighter.
It began to hurt, and I felt myself begin to panic, just a little. I didn’t think she’d hurt me.
“Elisabeth?” I think it came out a little like a whimper. “Please… I…”
She froze, but then she began to growl, deep in her throat. It wasn’t loud, but it was a growl.
“Elisabeth?” I said, more panic in my voice. She tightened fractionally more.
I couldn’t think anymore. I fought my control my reaction. I fought to not fight. I knew I couldn’t win, after all. I could only… surrender.
But hadn’t I already done that?
“Please, Elisabeth…”
And she froze, then, slowly, although not as slowly as she had tightened, she relaxed her jaws, and finally my throat was free.
Then she licked my face a few times before settling down even more heavily atop me.
We lay like that for a minute or two before I asked, “May I hug you?”
She grunted approval, adjusting her paws so I could reach up and wrap my arms around her. I held her tightly to me for a while.
“I did something wrong, didn’t I?”
She grunted.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
There was a pause, and then, only for a moment, she whimpered above me. For a second, I thought I was holding her too tightly. Then I realized…
“God, I’m an idiot.”
And the bitch grunted agreement at me.
“Not funny,” I said.
She lifted her head and gave me another lick, this time right across the mouth.
“Eww!” I said. I wiped the slime off into her fur. “Don’t do that.”
So she adjusted her weight and did it again. I wasn’t expecting it, and her tongue actually slipped partway between my lips that time.
“You did that on purpose!” I said.
She grunted several times while I wiped my mouth off against her fur some more. Then I wrapped my arms around her again and buried my face in her fur, inhaling deeply. She smelled wonderful. I couldn’t have described it. But she smelled wonderful.
But she was getting heavy.
“I’m having a hard time breathing,” I whispered into her ear.
She shifted her weight, then slowly climbed off me before lying down next to me. I rolled onto my side so I could look at her. She panted happily at me. I lifted an arm and let my fingers dig through her fur. Her eyes closed, and a moment later she was making the same noise Celeste had made earlier.
It was a little absentmindedly, but I let my fingers roam. I spent most of the time with them buried deep in the scruff of her neck, but I also found myself stroking her fur and digging my fingers in here and there, trying to find her muscles.
She looked like a really, really big dog. It was hard to find her muscles under the fur, but what I found felt exceedingly powerful.
“You’re amazing, Elisabeth,” I said. She leaned over and licked me. I sputtered. “Stop that!” She just lolled her tongue at me, and I wondered if that was a wolf laugh.
We lay together for a few
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