Woman by Richard Matheson Page A

Again, he cut off Barbara as she began to speak. "If there
ever was an Atlantis, it undoubtedly sank from the weight of household appliances."
     
         Val cackled again, then,
hissing, clutched at his groin. "Hate to miss a word of this," he
told them, "but I have to take a leak."
     
         He moved to the bathroom and
knocked on the closed door. "Almost finished, Charlie?" he said.
     
         "Yeah," Charlie's
voice answered.
     
         "Well, cut it off, I
gotta piss," Val told him. He started dancing up and down. "Ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh!" he whimpered.
     
         "Use our
bathroom," Liz told him.
     
         "What a good
idea," Val said in a peeping voice. Breathlessly humming "The Dance
of the Hours" he hurried on tiptoe out of the living room.
     
         "You all right,
Charlie?" David called.
     
         "Yeah, yeah,"
Charlie answered.
     
         The tense silence between
Max and Barbara was broken as she spoke to David. "About this war between
the sexes, David," she said, "you said before 'in the beginning.' How
far back does it go?"
     
         "Our wedding day,"
Max said.
     
         "Oh, fuck you,"
she snapped.
     
         "That would be a
novelty," he said.
     
         "I gather no one cares
if we get to the award show on time," David said, getting impatient now.
     
         "It's not that late
David," Liz told him, checking her wristwatch.
     
         All right, to hell with it,
David decided. I'm not up for
an award.
     
         "How far back does it
go?" he began."Heaven only knows. There are, for instance, two
distinct versions of Creation in the Bible. One might be called the 'official'
version. The other is man's. The first refers to male and femalein God's image.
In the second, a mist goes up and man is made out of dust and woman out of
man."
     
         "A perfect
description," Max said, nodding. "Women are second-hand dust."
     
         "Oh, why don't you stuff 'it," Barbara told him.
     
         Max's grin was cruel.
"Right from the start, woman took from man. First, his rib. Then
everything else. To quote the Mahabnarata—"
     
         Barbara interrupted him, her
expression distorted by hate. "You've spent so much time researching your
distaste for women, it's no wonder you have no time for anything else,"
she said.
     
         Max's voice went on over
hers, speaking as though she hadn't. '"A wise man will avoid the
contaminating society of women'," he quoted, '"as he would the touch
of bodies infested by vermin.'"
     
         "Lovely," Liz
said, "Just lovely."
     
         "I trust you're
kidding, Max," David told him.
     
         "I only kid for
money," he replied.   .
     
         "Well, you're full of
it," Barbara said.
     
         "You were saying
David?" Liz said.
     
         He looked at her pleadingly.
Can't we end this? he
thought.
     
         "We're into it,
David," Liz said. "This is no time to drop it."
     
         "All right" he said, giving up. "At
the dawn of civilization, society was set up along matriarchal lines."
     
         "I'm back, you
matriarchal fuckers," Val said, coming into the living room. "The
pause that refreshes has refreshed."
     
         David went on, trying to be
oblivious to the air of tension in the room. "Giving birth, women were the
dominant figures. Men provided food and shelter and defended the community.
Everything else was female domain, including religion. God was female—born of
nature, benevolent and wise. Wicca in the Celtic language—the word 'witch' camefrom it. Men couldn't
understand that—or abide by it—so they declared it bad. Lilith for the Hebrews. Empusa for the Greeks, Lamia, the vampire.
Woman draining and destructive."
     
         "Right on," Max
agreed.
     
         Val grabbed his crotch and
leered at Candy. "Drain this baby."
     
         David felt a tremor of uneasiness
at the way Ganine was looking at Val. If he was right about