Woman of Grace by Kathleen Morgan Page A

fear they’ll be all he has to cling to for a long while to come.”
    Her friend shot her a slanting look. “You care more for Devlin than you let on back there with Father Starr. I’m glad you don’t hate him anymore. That’s the greatest tribute you could pay Ella.”
    “No, I don’t hate him anymore.” She sighed and clutched Bonnie closer, her emotions suddenly all ajumble. “I can’t say as I particularly like or trust him, though. It’s just so difficult at times …”
    “No one ever said following the Lord would be easy, Hannah.” Abby’s lips quirked. “Sad to say, most of our biggest crosses in life turn out to be other people.”
    Once more, Hannah’s gaze settled on Devlin, shoulders slumped, head down. “Well, he’s certainly one of my biggest crosses. I only wish I knew how to get him to like me. It would make things so much easier with me in his house, taking care of Bonnie and—”
    “You aren’t going to be taking care of the children anymore.” As if to add extra emphasis to her words, Abby slapped the reins over the horses’ backs, urging them to a quicker pace.
    Hannah’s stomach gave a great lurch. Frowning in confusion, she turned in her seat to face Abby. “What do you mean? You heard Ella ask me to help take care of them, to love them.”
    Abby shot her a quick, apologetic glance. “Devlin’s made arrangements with a Widow Ashley to come out to the ranch this afternoon. She lost her husband in the influenza epidemic, and needs some sort of employment to support her and her infant son. She’ll be Bonnie’s new wet nurse, besides care for the children and the house.”
    Hannah felt sick. She also felt hurt, betrayed, and totally disoriented. She had hoped she’d be permitted to continue to nurse Bonnie and take care of Mary and Devlin Jr. But then she had also hoped that, in time, Devlin would come to accept and forgive her.
    Now it seemed it was never to be. She swallowed hard. “Where will this … this Mrs. Ashley be staying?”
    “Devlin thought it best if she bunked in with you. There is the spare bedroom …”
    Through the haze of pain and disbelief, anger gradually filled Hannah. So it had all been planned, and she had never once been privy to it.
    “When exactly was he intending on telling me?” she demanded hoarsely. “When the woman pulled up at the bunkhouse with her son and all her belongings?”
    “Please, Hannah,” Abby pleaded, “try to understand. I suppose I should’ve told you, but I kept hoping Devlin might change his mind.” The chestnut-haired woman sighed and shook her head. “Seems, though, he’s had this planned for a while. Even before Ella took sick with the influenza.”
    She reached over and grasped Hannah’s hand. “I’m so sorry. He’s not being fair to you.”
    Tears stung Hannah’s eyes. “He’s never, ever, been fair. And now … now for him to do this.” Her hand fisted and she pounded her thigh. “He has never valued what I did for him and his family. I’ve never been anything more to him than something to be used and tossed aside at the first opportunity!”
    “Oh, Hannah,” Abby cried softly. “Don’t say that. Devlin’s not himself right now. Maybe in time, once things settle down and he has a chance to think things through more clearly …”
    “No.” The girl shook her head. “He won’t change his mind. Not Devlin.”
    The tears fell unchecked now, and she found she didn’t care. She had been a fool to hope Devlin would ever change. She had been even more of a fool to care. But, blast it all, she did care.
    Hannah had always wanted to belong, to be accepted. She supposed, over time, Devlin MacKay had come to represent that goal. In some crazy, mixed-up way, Hannah imagined if she could gain his respect, the respect of a man who had used and then discarded her, she would have finally achieved her dream. She would finally have redeemed her lost purity—and her soul.
    But that was exactly all it was and