Wounded (In My Dreams) by Erin R Flynn Page B

didn’t tell him what I made.”
    “I know that hurt, but you have to see that wasn’t someone you’d want to date either.”
    “I know. But then I ditched those models, completely cutting them off even after I took one to a conference with me. And they just wouldn’t stop, sending me nasty messages, emails, posting on my blog, and on and on. It was just, god .”
    “So you started shutting everyone out.”
    “No, that would have been smart but I decided to try once more. My neighbor had a friend who had seen me and asked if I was single. We went out and the whole night he asked about my marketing strategies, really pushed past polite conversational interest in the other person’s job. I was annoyed because by then I’d started lying about what I did for a living but he already knew from my neighbor.
    “At the end of the meal, he stood up and told me I could pay for dinner, I had the money and it was the least I could do after he gave me a night of his life since he didn’t get anything good to help his own books sales. Then he walked out of the restaurant.”
    “Jesus Christ, people are assholes,” Jasper hissed and I couldn’t disagree. “So you shut down and moved?”
    “Yeah, I went to a weight loss clinic, they put me on a diet pill that helped but made me a little crazy. I visited Omaha and really liked it here. Found a place and moved. The move was horrible. They broke just about anything they could that wasn’t covered under the mover’s policy. My renters policy didn’t cover any of it even though I’d asked and they said it had.”
    “Then that shit with work,” he muttered and my head snapped in his direction. “I heard you talking on the phone with your mom last night.” I nodded and looked away again. “What happened?”
    “It’s long, complicated, and doesn’t have a happy ending,” I admitted, too raw to drag up any other hurtful topics.
    “How bad on a scale of one to ten?”
    “Twelve,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. “At least a twelve.”
    “Then you lost your best friend.”
    “Yeah, during all of that. He was sick and I missed it, and I wonder if it was because I was so distracted.”
    “Do you really think that?”
    I shrugged and took a drag of my smoke. “I don’t know. Hindsight isn’t always twenty/twenty and I know I did the best I could when it came to pup. After that I just went numb. I’d already been upset and gaining back the weight I’d lost, I didn’t care about much of anything for months though I was able to write again, and I think I just gave up, going through the motions because I have to.”
    “You’re a survivor,” he praised.
    I snorted as I put out my cigarette and stood, lifting the grill cover and flipping the burgers. “No, just that stubborn.”
    “Same difference,” he chuckled as he stood too. I didn’t flinch when he hugged me from behind, sighing even that he obviously forgave me. “You just need time to heal.”
    “Maybe, or maybe I’m just wounded to the point of being broken,” I replied, finally voicing my greatest concern in the world.
    “If you were broken, you wouldn’t still have such a kind heart and take the chance to help someone like me. I don’t believe you’re broken at all, Lily.” I shrugged, too tired to hope for such things. “Anyone I can beat up for you? Who was mean to you?”
    “Oh god, there would be such a list,” I snickered, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. “It would take you years to track them all down.”
    “I’ve got time.” He kissed my cheek as he pulled away. “Is work still bad now?”
    “No, but I took a big hit. It’s getting better. One day it will be great again. I’ll fight for that. I just don’t know I have the fight in me for anything else.”
    “You went for a walk this morning,” he argued and I raised my eyebrow at him. “You heard me say it might help and let me drag you out there. There’s fight in you, Lily. You just need someone to care