Wylding Hall by Elizabeth Hand Page B

asleep, because he snores, and Will was, too.
    Julian was beside me. He wasn’t sleeping, but he wanted me to think he was asleep. I touched his hand, ran my fingers along his arm: nothing.
    I felt horrible. If he’d rejected me outright or if we’d had a fight, I could understand that. But he was just freezing me out. And I was utterly obsessed with him—crazy, the way you are when you’re seventeen. I thought I would die, I was so in love with him. But it was like loving a book, or a beautiful song: something you could never really touch.
    He was on the floor beside me, and Nancy was next to him. All of a sudden I felt this insane jealousy, just on fire—he wanted to be with her! That’s why he wasn’t responding to me.
    So I laid there and held my breath, to hear if they were whispering to each other, or if they were touching. I imagined her hand on him, and I couldn’t see and it was driving me crazy.
    I couldn’t hear a thing. It was pitch dark, a few weeks past midsummer, so it was still bright till almost ten at night, and the sun rose very early. But that night, it seemed as though it stayed dark hours longer than it should have. I just lay there, creepy little me, listening to their breathing and to hear if Nancy was having him off.
    I didn’t hear a peep. Until finally Julian whispered, “I saw it, too.”
    I thought he was talking to me, but he was so quiet I thought maybe he was talking to himself. Talking in his sleep.
    But then I heard Nancy move very, very slightly—she must have turned her head towards his—and I heard her whisper, “ I know .”
    That was all. I kept holding my breath in case they went on, but there was nothing else. I never asked Julian about it. Like I said, the next day, whatever was between us was over.
    I was heartbroken, but I didn’t show it—didn’t want anyone to think it mattered. We all had mayfly relationships in those days. Girls did, anyway. You’d be with someone for a one-night stand and it was like you were engaged to be married, you’d be so excited.
    But it was over. I didn’t know much back then, but I knew that whatever had happened between Julian and me was done. I have no idea what they were talking about, him and Nancy. I have no idea what they saw.

Chapter 7
     
    Nancy
     
    Suddenly, I heard this uncanny singing. To this day, I can’t explain what it was. Less like singing than birdsong: quite high-pitched, almost piercing, then a series of trills, and that high keening again. Then a fluttering sound right above me, like something was trapped in the rafters.
    I knew we weren’t supposed to open our eyes, but I couldn’t help it. When I heard that rustling noise, my eyes popped right open. I almost bolted. I thought it was rats scurrying around, which wouldn’t have surprised me a bit. There were all sorts of things living in the walls there. Rats and mice and god knows what.
    So there I am, staring at the ceiling—and that’s when I realize it can’t possibly be rats. Whatever it is, it’s above me. The rehearsal room had very high ceilings, which should have made for a bad acoustic, but didn’t. It sounded like a bird had got in and was bashing itself against the beams up there, trying to get out.
    I started to sit up, but I felt Julian’s hand on my arm, holding me back. He didn’t say anything, not out loud, but I knew he was telling me to stay beside him and look at the ceiling. Like he was a transmitter and I was picking up the frequency he was on.
    I looked up, but I couldn’t see anything. It was pitch dark, darker even than it had seemed when my eyes were shut. The bird kept flying back and forth; I could hear it strike the beams and the ceiling. A hollow thump, over and over again.
    There was something horrible about it. The fact that it just kept bashing itself against the beams and wouldn’t stop: it was killing itself, trying to get out. And if it did fall, it would fall on me, and that would be even more horrible.
    Even