You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery by Mamrie Hart Page B

But also, young girls, don’t consider calling someone a virgin an insult. It’s not. Having your virginity is nothing to be embarrassed by. In fact, it’s more a bragging right than an embarrassment. It is way more embarrassing to put on a tough-guy act and call someone the misspelled name of a very respectable and beautiful American state.
    The Weirdo
    Lame! I clicked for the Viking bra tutorial! Unsubbing. #~>
      
    Where do I even begin with this one? Seriously. This person is pissed because she was searching for Viking Bra Tutorial. I can’t even be mad at her for unsubscribing. In fact, I want to slowly infiltrate this person’s life via the videos she likes and gradually become her best friend.
    I’ll probably have to pretend to be into opera and wear a hat with horns on it for a while, but I really think it will be worth it in the end.
    The Hypocrite
    Idiots with too much time.
      
    Oh, man. I love this comment so much. You might be thinking,
But Mamrie! It’s not that mean,
or
But Mamrie, there are no grammatical errors!
Look, when it comes to appreciating a ridiculous comment on YouTube, sometimes you gotta treat it like a chicken potpie. You gotta peel back a flaky layer or two to get to that real gooey goodness. I will admit that the potpie analogy is partially due to the fact that I’m watching Food Network as I type this. But it is true. Sometimes you’ve got to dig a little deeper to see where a person is coming from. And that is what I did with this gem of a user. I clicked on his avatar.
    This is something that people forget is possible on YouTube. As easily as you can click on my username and see what videos I’ve posted, I can do the same exact thing to a commenter. I can also see what videos you’ve uploaded, or liked, or commented on.
    This lil’ peach who took the time to tell me that I am an idiot and that I have too much time on my hands didn’t realize that (after drinking a few too many Rumple Minzes) I would click on that avatar of his.
    What I found really knocked me off my orthopedic slippers. Homeboy, let’s call him Reginald, had only one original video uploaded to his channel. Now, if I were to tell you that this one video was the most boring thing I have ever experienced, you probably wouldn’t believe me. But I swear on my collection of tiny hats, it’s the truth.
    Reginald’s only uploaded video was a montage of sunset pictures. Not a sweeping montage of time-lapse sunset footage. Not gorgeous sunsets over canyons, beaches, and other stunninglandscapes with shots from a GoPro strapped to an eagle’s head. No, no. Reg’s video was a slideshow of scanned sunset photos he’d taken through a window with an old camera that still shows you the date in the corner.
    Of course, he broke out every standard iMovie transition (star wipe, dissolve, even that weird spinning cube thing) to sandwich between each blurry sunset. It was set to a classic new age instrumental, to really get the viewer in the relaxation zone. But that’s not all! Halfway through the vid it kicks into a more rocking number and switches to (get this) waterfall pics, but not before Reg cuts to a title card reading, and I quote: “Did anybody sad water?”
    Guys. We all know good and well this was a painful and unfortunate typo. He clearly meant, “Did anybody
say
water?” but I think we can all admit the irony is heartbreaking. It
was
some supersad water. I felt so bad for Reginald. We used to live in a world where you could entice your friends and neighbors with a good cheese ball and a box of Franzia in exchange for them coming over and acting impressed with your boring-ass vacation slideshow. And you know, sunsets are the most boring vacay photos. Sunsets are the photography equivalent of people telling you what they dreamt.
    But now, sans slideshow party, this man had to teach himself how to edit and scan old photos to throw them onto the World Wide Web, shouting into the void and hoping someone would