Young Frankenstein

Young Frankenstein by Gilbert Pearlman Page A

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Authors: Gilbert Pearlman
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entered .
    Inside, he went exploring and soon found a shelf that held a number of glass jars. Each jar contained a brain and was labeled. Igor began reading the labels:
    AlbertusMagnus (Physicist)
    Cornelius Agrippa (Natural Philosopher)
    Lawrence Talbot (Hematologist)
    Then:
    Hans Delbruck (Scientist & Saint)
    Elated, Igor carefully lifted the glass jar containing the illustrious Hans Delbruck's brain from the shelf. As he turned to go, he suddenly found himself facing a weird-looking hunchback who was draped in a black cape. Startled, Igor dropped the glass jar. As he heard the crash, he realized, too late, that he had been frightened by his own image in a glass case. Igor looked down. There at his feet was Dr. Hans Delbruck's brain. In fact, it was not only there-it was there, and over there, and over there, and . . . Clearly, not all the king's horses, nor all the king's men, would ever be able to put it back together again.
    Tears came to Igor's eyes. "Funny thing is, I tried," he said contritely .
    There was no time for more tears, though. The doc tor was waiting. Quickly, he snatched another jar from the shelf. As he was hurrying toward the exit, he took a fast look at the label:
    Bo Not Use This Brain (Abnormal)
    A question passed fleetingly through Igor's mind. Who's to say who's abnormal? Then he tucked the jar under his cape and fled the Depository.

 
    Supine on the operating table was the hulk that resembled a man. Thick limbs, thick torso, thick neck, thick arms, stubby fingers. And the face! It was the face of a mindless monster, expressionless, the eyes deep and dormant in the sockets, the plasticlike flesh, the shaggy fringe of coarse black hair, the cruel mouth.
    "Hideous!" Inga said, trembling .
    Dr. Frankenstein shook his head, smiling beautifically. "He's beautiful," he said. "And he's mine."
    "I like the way he dresses," Igor said, feeling the hulk's rough tweed trousers . "Class . You don't get this kind of stuff off the rack."
    "Well, are we ready?" the doctor asked enthusiastically . "Igor-up to the roof . Let's get a move on!"
    Igor departed .
    When he had gone, the doctor began fussing over the patient, making sure that the steel straps that bound him to the table were tightly in place, straightening his tweed jacket, brushing down his hair, getting him as presentable-looking as possible .
    Before long, Igor appeared at the skylight, which had been opened to the night. "What now?" he called down.
    "The kites!" Dr. Frankenstein answered. "Get the kites in the air."
    "Check!"
    "Will it really work, Doctor?" Inga asked dubiously.
    "Why shouldn't it?" he replied . "Those are the best kites money could by."
    A few minutes later, Igor called down again. "Kites aloft!"
    "Perfect!"
    Igor shouted down once more. "Doctor, are you sure this is how it's done?"
    "Yes, yes," the doctor answered impatiently. "It's all in the notes. Now, tie off the kites and release the chains and get back down here as fast as you can!"
    "What's the hurry?" .
    "There's the possibility of electrocution!" Dr. Frankenstein told him. Then Igor suddenly disappeared from sight. "Igor!" he shouted . "Do you understand? There's the possibility-"
    "I understand," Igor said. He was standing beside the doctor. "Why are you shouting?"
    "I thought-Oh-Did you tie off the kites?"
    "Of course."
    "Good. Check the generator."
    Igor went to a machine, studied its gauges for a moment, nodded to himself, then began following an electrical cable that connected the machine to the body.
    "Can you imagine?" Dr. Frankenstein said to Inga. "That magnificent brain in this monster body."
    Igor winced .
    "Oh, Frederick," Inga said admiringly, "you're not only a great doctor, you're a great-You're almost a-"
    "A god?" he suggested.
    "Yes."
    "I know."
    There was a rumble of thunder.
    "This is the moment!" the doctor said excitedly. He got onto the table with the body. "All right," he said, "elevate me!"
    "Now?" Inga asked. "Right here?"
    "Yes! Raise the

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