right in front of my face. He had a nice ass—not honky like mine—sleek and firm like a guy’s butt should be. Of course you couldn’t fit anything else in those jeans of his, so maybe it was illusion. Even so, my fingers twitched, and what do you know, my dick did too. I found myself surprised at how inspired that made me. In the back of my mind I knew I should be terrified at the implications of being gay, but I just couldn’t seem to get past the amazinglyness of it all. Is that even a word ? I didn’t care. It fit.
“Yours is nicer than Chuck’s,” Zane commented when I flipped on the light.
I laughed. “Everything I have is bigger and better than Chuck’s.”
He turned, smiling crookedly at me. “I don’t doubt that, cowboy.” He pulled me against him, his hands sliding down the small of my back, and, to, my, oh God . I couldn’t breathe—but that was okay since Zane appeared to be breathing enough for us both. His eyes looked troubled, while the corners of his lips drooped down. “Damn,” he muttered, then those thin dusky lips were on mine.
Oh . Wow . His chest was solid beneath my hands, and felt nothing like a girls. Even his mouth was firmer, more sure, more demanding, just more . Something else was very firm against my gut too. My insides quivered. The fear I knew had been in me somewhere, made itself known. His tongue teased trying to get invited into my mouth. My stomach flopped over as the terror flew forward like an angry banshee, and I shoved him. Zane landed in a confused pile on the couch.
He scratched his cheek, shaking his head. “All this fresh air must be fucking with my instincts.”
“I...sorry...just...um...” I took a wobbly step towards him, then covered my mouth, and bolted over the counter as my stomach heaved. Everything went muzzy as the contents of my stomach splashed onto the fake marble. In the middle of my retching I felt the tears prickle under my eyelids. I never cried. Yet there I was lying across the counter puking my guts out, my bravery depleted, while fat tears rolled down my cheeks. More than anything I wanted Zane to leave me alone right then. But he didn’t. As my gagging ceased he dragged me back by my jeans, wiping my face off with the kitchen towel before sitting me on the couch.
He sat down, and pulled me against his side. “You were supposed to hold my hair, remember?” His lips hovered above my ear. “Cowboy, why do you have to be so damn irresistible?”
I shook my head, devastated over my reaction to his kiss. Hiding my face against his shoulder, I felt more lost than ever.
Chapter Seven
Hissing, I cracked my sticky lids, and immediately regretted doing both. My head screeched as it fumbled around trying to find the merciful darkness again. Unfortunately the muffled announcer’s voice meant that probably wasn’t an option. The rodeo had already started, and I hadn’t even fed AJ yet. Dang . I missed church too.
I pulled my phone out of my back pocket, squinting to read the time. Thank you , God . It wasn’t quite eight-thirty yet. Team roping wasn’t until after the lunch break today. I pulled the comforter over my head, grimacing over the whiskey-flavored slime coating my mouth.
Suddenly everything came back to me in reverse order, as it tends to do after a night of purely idiotic drinking. I remembered throwing up right after I shoved Zane away because—I buried my face in the pillow. Why did I do that ? I’d flirted with him all night, then, when he’d acted, I’d freaked and pushed him away.
At least I hadn’t puked on him. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know where I had puked since I couldn’t recall making it to the sink. I rolled over, and peeked at the kitchen. I sort of made it. Zane obviously tried to clean, but there hadn’t been any water since I had forgotten to turn the pump on. A chalky layer remained on the brown faux marble counter.
My eyes hitched on Zane asleep on the pull-out. I wanted to believe
“Yours is nicer than Chuck’s,” Zane commented when I flipped on the light.
I laughed. “Everything I have is bigger and better than Chuck’s.”
He turned, smiling crookedly at me. “I don’t doubt that, cowboy.” He pulled me against him, his hands sliding down the small of my back, and, to, my, oh God . I couldn’t breathe—but that was okay since Zane appeared to be breathing enough for us both. His eyes looked troubled, while the corners of his lips drooped down. “Damn,” he muttered, then those thin dusky lips were on mine.
Oh . Wow . His chest was solid beneath my hands, and felt nothing like a girls. Even his mouth was firmer, more sure, more demanding, just more . Something else was very firm against my gut too. My insides quivered. The fear I knew had been in me somewhere, made itself known. His tongue teased trying to get invited into my mouth. My stomach flopped over as the terror flew forward like an angry banshee, and I shoved him. Zane landed in a confused pile on the couch.
He scratched his cheek, shaking his head. “All this fresh air must be fucking with my instincts.”
“I...sorry...just...um...” I took a wobbly step towards him, then covered my mouth, and bolted over the counter as my stomach heaved. Everything went muzzy as the contents of my stomach splashed onto the fake marble. In the middle of my retching I felt the tears prickle under my eyelids. I never cried. Yet there I was lying across the counter puking my guts out, my bravery depleted, while fat tears rolled down my cheeks. More than anything I wanted Zane to leave me alone right then. But he didn’t. As my gagging ceased he dragged me back by my jeans, wiping my face off with the kitchen towel before sitting me on the couch.
He sat down, and pulled me against his side. “You were supposed to hold my hair, remember?” His lips hovered above my ear. “Cowboy, why do you have to be so damn irresistible?”
I shook my head, devastated over my reaction to his kiss. Hiding my face against his shoulder, I felt more lost than ever.
Chapter Seven
Hissing, I cracked my sticky lids, and immediately regretted doing both. My head screeched as it fumbled around trying to find the merciful darkness again. Unfortunately the muffled announcer’s voice meant that probably wasn’t an option. The rodeo had already started, and I hadn’t even fed AJ yet. Dang . I missed church too.
I pulled my phone out of my back pocket, squinting to read the time. Thank you , God . It wasn’t quite eight-thirty yet. Team roping wasn’t until after the lunch break today. I pulled the comforter over my head, grimacing over the whiskey-flavored slime coating my mouth.
Suddenly everything came back to me in reverse order, as it tends to do after a night of purely idiotic drinking. I remembered throwing up right after I shoved Zane away because—I buried my face in the pillow. Why did I do that ? I’d flirted with him all night, then, when he’d acted, I’d freaked and pushed him away.
At least I hadn’t puked on him. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know where I had puked since I couldn’t recall making it to the sink. I rolled over, and peeked at the kitchen. I sort of made it. Zane obviously tried to clean, but there hadn’t been any water since I had forgotten to turn the pump on. A chalky layer remained on the brown faux marble counter.
My eyes hitched on Zane asleep on the pull-out. I wanted to believe
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