Affirmation by Sawyer Bennett

doesn’t
move from the door but stands there with his hands in his pockets,
watching me.
    I
start the conversation. “Cal said you forgave him.”
    Matt
shrugs his shoulders as if it were nothing. “It needed to be
done.”
    “Why
is that?” I ask, completely fearful and yet totally needing him
to tell me.
    But
he doesn’t. Instead, he reaches into his coat pocket and throws
an envelope on my desk. I immediately recognize it as the envelope
that had my letter of resignation in it. The words “Matthew
Connover” are written in my completely messy handwriting.
    I
glance up to Matt, who returns my stare.
    “Open
it,” he says.
    Opening
the flap, I reach inside and pull out a pile of paper, all torn up
into itty-bitty pieces. I can see clearly enough that it’s my
letter of resignation, completely shredded.
    “I
don’t accept your resignation,” he says, his voice
authoritative and commanding.
    “Excuse
me?” I say in shock.
    “You
heard me. You’re not quitting. I need you.”
    Hmmmm.
He needs me?
    “You
don’t need me,” I scoff at him. “You can put an ad
in the paper and have a hundred attorneys lined up in the morning,
all with better grades and references than I have.”
    “No,”
Matt says with equal authority. “You don’t get it. I.
Need. You.”
    He
punctuates each word so that I hear him clearly.
    I.
Need. You.
    And
that’s all it takes for my heart to start really hammering.
Matt takes two steps until he is directly in front of me, and I have
to lean my head back to look up at him from my chair. He doesn’t
make me strain my neck for long because he drops to his knees in
front of me.
    His
eyes hold me. I see all the things I’ve been dying to see.
Desire, care, nurturing, tenderness, and passion.
    I
also see something else.
    Pleading.
    His
eyes plead with me to understand something, but I’m not sure
what it is he wants me from me. Before I can even fathom a guess, he
leans in, wraps his arms around my waist, and lays his head in my
lap.
    He
squeezes me, gently, and I can’t stop my hands from coming up
and stroking his head.
    He
stays in that position for several minutes, just squeezing me, his
head nestled in my lap. My mind is racing… I have no clue what
this means.
    Finally,
he lifts his head and looks up at me. The pleading is still there,
along with fear and uncertainty.
    “I
need you, Mac,” he says with a shaky voice. “I need your
smile, your touch, and your wit. I need your tenderness, your
brilliance, and your common sense. I need you to be my champion, and
I need you to want to come home to me every night. I need all of
those things… desperately. I think I might die without them.”
    He
stares at me… a storm of emotions brewing within those golden
eyes, and my heart is thundering so hard right now, I’m
surprised he can’t hear it.
    “You
need me?” I ask, completely shell shocked over his
proclamation.
    He
nods and his lips curve upward, his dimples just starting to pop.
“You’re usually not this dense, Mac.”
    I
smile in return and push my hair behind one ear, leaning it slightly
toward him. “It’s just… I’m not sure I heard
you correctly. You did say you need me?”
    “Yes,”
he says as his hands come up to hold my head. He leans in and kisses
me, so very sweetly. “I need you because I love you. When you
love someone the way I love you, the need for that person is
unquenchable.”
    “And
when did you come to this realization?”
    The
smile he gives me is so loving, that my heart just turns over and
kicks its little heart feet up in submission.
    “I
think I’ve always known it. I was just too filled with so many
other things that I refused to acknowledge it. But last night…
I held you while you slept, and I just laid there… the entire
time, realizing how wonderful it felt to have your body next to mine.
When it got close to the time I needed to leave so I could get ready
for work, I felt like my heart was being fucking pulled out of