An Enormously English Monsoon Wedding by Christina Jones

saggy, er,
sagai
and nowhere to hold it, and no one is going to want to come to another party just a week before the wedding anyway, and we’ve got our hen and stag nights too.’
    Nalisha shook her head sadly.
    ‘Why on earth wouldn’t everyonewant several parties? Everyone loves a party.’ Deena beamed. ‘Anyway, let’s not worry about that now. You can leave the
sagai
to me. Right now, we seem to have far more important things to talk about. I’m very disappointed that you haven’t incorporated a
sanji
in your plans.’
    ‘Told you to say nothing.’ Nalisha played with her salad leaves and laughed quietly. ‘You’ll regret it …’
    Jay shook his head. ‘Please don’t interfere, Mum. I know you’re doing all this with the best of motives, but–’
    Erin, delighted that Jay
was
on her side, gave him a ‘no, it’s OK, leave this to me, please’ look across Nalisha. She really, really didn’t want a stand-up Keskar family row in the Swan’s hushed and illustrious dining room. Diplomacy had never been one of her skills, but she felt she had to at least try.
    ‘This, er,
sanji
? Is that right? What is it?’
    ‘It’s a Hindu wedding reception,’ Jay said quietly. ‘A lighthearted evening of dancing and music and lots of food. It’s supposed to be a chance for the families to get to know one another better.’
    Erin nodded happily. She could cope with this. Diplomacy was much easier than she thought. ‘That’s OK then. We’re having one of those. A bit of fun for everyone after the formality of the ceremony and the meal and the speeches.’
    ‘Oh, thank goodness for that.’ Deena looked mollified.
    ‘But ours is an evening reception, here, straight after the wedding,’ Jay said. ‘As in all normal British marriage ceremonies.’
    Erin wrinkled her nose. ‘Well, yes, of course it is. Why wouldn’t it be?’
    ‘Because,’ Nalisha said quietly, ‘Indian weddings have the reception the day
after
the wedding.’
    ‘Wow.’ Erin chewed andeventually swallowed a mushroom. ‘That must be exhausting. Well, we couldn’t do that anyway, because the day after our wedding we’ll be at Heathrow to go on honeymoon and –’
    Deena frowned slightly. ‘Oh, really, it’s such a shame you and Jay weren’t a couple when any of our family have been married, darling. Then you’d have been to their weddings and know exactly what we expect a wedding to be. Nalisha would have known
exactly
what to expect, wouldn’t you, darling?’
    Nalisha held up an elegant hand. ‘Please don’t involve me in this. You can’t expect Erin to know about all our cultural celebrations, can you? Yes, of course I’d have known, but then I’m a Hindu, and Jay and I have been to so many Indian weddings together …’
    ‘Have you?’ Erin said sharply.
    ‘Masses.’ Nalisha smiled. ‘We were always one another’s plus-ones.’
    Bugger, Erin thought, this just gets better and better.
    Deena pushed her plate away. ‘But surely Erin, you must at least know that our cultural heritage is one of strictly observed traditional rituals? And none more so than at a marriage?’
    Tavish put down his fork with a clatter. ‘I think there are a lot of things we need to talk about here, Deena. And possibly privately. It seems to me that Jay and Erin have organised their wedding day to include something of both cultures – which is wonderful – and maybe we should leave it at that today.’
    Deena shook back her glossyblack hair. The emerald earrings danced with green prisms. ‘And risk being a laughing stock? And risk everyone saying afterwards that the poor couple didn’t have any
poojas
or a Mandap Mahurat, not to mention the
pithi
? And risk being accused of allowing our only son to have a cheapskate wedding?’

Chapter Six

    ‘Excuse me.’ Erin’s brief sortie into diplomacy was instantly forgotten. She pushed her mushrooms away. ‘Clearly unlike Nalisha, I have no idea what any of those things are, but whatever they