Arsenic and Old Cake by Jacklyn Brady

tub are both heart-shaped and the room has mood lighting.”
    “The room,” Hyacinth said with a disapproving sniff, “has a dimmer switch.”
    Primrose shushed her and went on. “We also provide a complimentary bottle of champagne when you check in,” she said, flashing a set of dimples. “And we throw in a few other romantic touches, too. I’d just need half an hour to get your room ready before you go upstairs. And, of course, we’ll want to give you a proper welcome. If you’ll join our little group for cocktail hour at five, we’ll toast you and your new marriage in style.”
    A cocktail party to celebrate our marriage? So much for flying under the radar. I tried begging off. We were here to identify Monroe. Period. “Actually,” I said, “we have—”
    Gabriel cut me off before I could finish. “We’re free all evening,” he said. “We’d love to join you. And I think the Honeymooner sounds perfect.” He pulled out his wallet and handed a credit card to Hyacinth, turning that cheesy grin on me again. “Don’t you, chérie ?”
    Chérie most certainly did not. Chérie saw no reason to go overboard with this charade. And she tried to say so. “Gabriel. Sweetheart. ”
    He put a finger on my lips to stop me from speaking and followed up with a chaste kiss. “Really, my love. I insist.”
    I barely resisted the urge to kick him in the shin—which I could have easily done since he also wrapped one arm around my waist while he cooed like a besotted bridegroom. I might have delivered that kick anyway, but Old Dog Leg’s face flashed through my memory at that precise moment, accompanied by a whiff of Gabriel’s aftershave. By the time my head cleared, Mr. and Mrs. Gabriel Broussard were registered guests in the honeymoon suite at the Love Nest.

Six
    We closed the door to our room behind us nearly an hour later. Aside from the time in the car, it was the first time we’d been alone since we’d committed to three fun-filled days and two romantic nights of wedded bliss. Primrose had insisted on giving us a guided tour of the inn’s first floor, including the kitchen, a formal dining room, game room and small library, and the front parlor where we were to meet for cocktails later. We didn’t have to be downstairs for the cocktail party until five, which gave us plenty of time to settle on a game plan for finding and unmasking Monroe. Since we’d be the guests of honor at the party, I also thought it would be smart to get our stories straight so we could play the newlywed game convincingly.
    Gabriel put the bags on the floor and surveyed the room with hands on hips. He nodded as his gaze traveled over the promised heart-shaped bed, covered with a heaping helping of frilly throw pillows and red rose petals. “These must be why we had to wait to come upstairs,” he said, lifting one of the rose petals for a sniff. “They’re real.”
    “I kind of figured that out from the overpowering rose scent.” I rubbed my nose and fought a sneeze. “I hope you don’t think I’m cleaning those up.”
    “Let’s toss a coin,” Gabriel said. “I think that’s only fair.”
    “We wouldn’t have to deal with them at all if you hadn’t asked for the Honeymooner suite.”
    “Oh come on,” he said with a grin. “Are you trying to tell me you weren’t even a little curious to see this room in person?”
    I shrugged and sat on the edge of the bed to test the mattress. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t saggy either. “Not even a little,” I said. “I was more interested in Nights in White Satin. It sounded much more practical.”
    “Practical? For our honeymoon?” He shook his head and tried to look serious. “You worry me, Rita. You saw how excited Primrose was over this room. How could I disappoint that sweet old lady?”
    “Primrose does seem sweet,” I said. “Hyacinth? Not so much. I’m not sure she even wanted our business.”
    “Well, she’s stuck with us now.” Gabriel turned his