Bad Astrid by Eileen Brennan

S he came into town
    like five tons of   bad luck.

    She came into town
    in a big moving truck.

    Meaner than any girl
    you’ll ever meet—

    and she and her family
    moved in down the street!

    Astrid was at least
    four feet two,
    without socks!
    She was boxy and solid,
    like a cabinet that
    talks.

    A cranky, crabby troll,
    Astrid barked and stood guard.
    She’d growl, spit, and sputter
    if I walked past her yard.

    She chased little chipmunks,
    popped heads off of flowers.

    She spent her time teasing
    my poor bird for hours.

    She loved to destroy
    any fun I had planned.
    She’d squirt-gun chalk drawings,
    topple my lemonade stand.

    In her bike helmet painted
    with a skull and crossbones,
    she tore up the sidewalk
    like a mini-cyclone.

    And she would
    never ,
    ever ,
    ever
    leave me alone!

    Such a nasty new neighbor—
    yes, it was quite a bummer.

    But I would
not
allow her
    to ruin my summer.…

    I’d learn knitting,

    the tango,

    and new karate kicks,

    and build a small Eiffel Tower
    out of Popsicle sticks!

    So I danced, kicked, and built,
    knit a seven-foot-long cap!

    Then one day the ground rumbled,
    and I heard branches snap.

    Through our hedge she came crashing,
    but she didn’t come alone—
    she brought a stop sign, our mailbox,
    and our neighbor’s lawn gnome.

    But still her bike rolled,
    and my heart sank a trifle

    as there came crashing down
    my Popsicle stick Eiffel!
    Astrid lay tangled
    like a set of jumbled keys.
    As I slowly crept close, I heard,

    I felt sad. I felt angry.
    I was just about to cry,
    but I stiffened my lip bravely,
    and instead I asked, “Why?
”

    “Why are you mean to me?
    And look at this mess!”
    Astrid stuttered,
    “I … I’m
sorry
.…
    I just wanted attention, I guess.”

    I began counting all the damage
    but realized before the end

    that my abominable new neighbor
    could really use a friend.

    So I pulled her from the wreckage,
    got a bandage for her knee.

    Astrid gathered Popsicle sticks
    and handed them to me.

    Then Astrid surprised me—
    she hugged me like a vise!
    I realized, yes, Astrid’s bad,

    but she can also be quite nice!

Eileen Brennan studied music and art at Lycoming College in Williamsport, Pennsylvania, and painting at the Tyler School of Art study-abroad program in Rome. After college she began exploring new mediums, including writing, animation, and film. Eileen has written for the Nick Jr. television show
Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!
and continues to write stories for children and adults. She lives in Brooklyn, New York
    Regan Dunnick has illustrated numerous books for children, and some of his works can be found in the permanent collection of the Library of Congress. He teaches at Ringling College of Art + Design in Sarasota, Florida. Regan lives in North Sarasota with his wife, Debbie, and his parrot, Mr. Pickles.