Confessions of a Hostie 3 by Danielle Hugh

not a genie,
I have no magic wand. I am standing there trying to serve them a
meal (and now delaying food being served to everyone else behind
them) all because they expect me to perform a miracle.
    I am magician, yet fortunately I can
multi-task.
    'As I keep repeating: the manager made an
announcement saying it will be 10-15 minutes to reboot the system,
so it should be available soon, for now would you care for the
chicken or the beef?'
    They still argue. I serve the gentleman
sitting next to the agitated couple. He quickly responds
'Beef'.
    'And sir, how about a nice glass of wine to
have with your meal?'
    He has a red.
    'There you go sir, please enjoy your lunch
and I am sure the entertainment system will be up and running
before you have finished.'
    I manage this whole conversation while the
couple next to him continues to bitch.
    I ask them again 'Would you like the chicken
or the beef?'
    They still complain about the lack of
entertainment.
    'As I keep repeating, I have no control over
the entertainment system, yet I do have control, at this stage, of
a choice of meal. Should I need to come back later with your meal,
that option may not be available. So, would you like the chicken or
the beef or would you prefer to eat whatever meals are left over
later?'
    I was only moments away from pushing the cart
toward the next row when the man finally answered 'One beef and one
chicken.'
    I know some people like to vent for the sake
of venting, yet being yelled at because an entertainment system is
unavailable for 10 minutes-or-so is ludicrous. Fortunately the
system did reboot successfully. Sometimes it doesn't. It is an
aircraft, having limited power and limited capacity with
nonessential items, such as inflight entertainment systems. The
mechanics of the plane essential to flying through the air have
intricate backup systems; entertainment systems don't.
    I'd much rather have a reliable aircraft than
a reliable TV screen. I would have loved to relay that to the
screaming couple.
     
    Planes in modern times have always been
reliable, yet safety has improved dramatically over the years. With
more and more planes in the skies each year, one would expect more
incidences, however there are less. It is testament to a
professionally run industry with strict guidelines. I regularly say
that I feel safer in a plane than in my car - but that might be a
reflection of my driving abilities. The facts are that you are
safer in a plane than in a bus, car, or a train.
    I have been asked 'What is more important;
safety or service?'
    It is a clear choice: Safety.
     
    Did you get there
safely is a far more significant question than how was your meal or how was the
movie?
    In a perfect world each passenger has a
choice of meals, a working entertainment system, and a seat with
plenty of legroom. It does not always pan out that way. When
passengers complain - and they do - we try not to take it
personally. Some things are out of our control. Even so, you need a
thick skin to be in this job.
     
    Working with Kathy continues to be a
pleasure. She's had 40 years of complaining passengers. There were
no individual entertainment systems inflight when she began flying.
There was next-to-nothing. Reading a book or watching a small TV
screen with only a couple of movies were the only forms of
amusement on a twelve hour flight, yet, according to Kathy,
passenger complaints were a rarity.
    Kathy is not the type to start every sentence
with when I began flying or back in my day ..., however I love
learning about the job 40 years ago. I ask many questions. Kathy is
happy to oblige.
    When she first joined, the airline the Boeing
747, the Jumbo , was the latest and
greatest aircraft to hit the skies.
    'I remember how huge it was, how impressive'
Kathy recalls. 'I thought to myself at the time, being the 1970's,
that if this amazing aircraft is flying around now, what will be in
the air by the turn of the century? I remember thinking in the year
2000 that the