Craig Lancaster - Edward Adrift by Craig Lancaster - Edward Adrift

Donna, Victor, and Kyle by being later than necessary.
    Thirty-eight miles on, near the small town of Greycliff, I stopped again. This peeing business is getting a bit ridiculous, although I suspect that I make it worse by drinking so much water. By the time I got to Greycliff, I was on my second bottle, and I hadn’t yet covered a hundred miles. As unlikely as it seems, I may have to invest in a second case of water.
    It’s also possible that I did not maintain a constant 65 miles per hour on the interstate. In Livingston, for instance, 27 miles from Bozeman, the Cadillac DTS was blown aggressively by the wind. And as I came through the mountain pass into Bozeman, I deviated between going faster than 65 miles per hour down hills and slower than 65 on tight turns. The mountain pass between Livingston and Bozeman is a good representation of why I am taking this trip in small chunks. It stresses me out to drive through mountain passes.
    Now I am in Bozeman, at a coffee shop on Main Street because I am hungry. I left the house at 7:51 a.m. having eaten only oatmeal and three handfuls of sunflower seeds (which I have now abandoned because they’re messy and I do not like messes), and it’s now 10:23 and I am a bit lightheaded. That’s not good.
    I order a sugar-free chai tea which I’m eager to try, never having heard of such a thing, and a granola bar that the nice lady at the counter said would be OK for me to have in my condition.
    “I’m diabetic, you know,” I tell her.
    “Well, I didn’t know that, but we can work out something just fine,” she says.
    I appreciated that, both for her willingness to work around my dietary needs and for her pointing out that she had no way of knowing about my condition. It was silly for me to have suggested she did.
    I’m on my second gulp of the chai tea, which is really good and comes in a tall, thin glass that I find visually appealing, when a young man with close-cropped blond hair comes up to me and says, “Oh, you’re a bright boy, aren’t you?”
    I look around. I haven’t heard anyone say “bright boy” since I saw the 1946 movie The Killers , in which William Conrad says it several times in the opening scene.
    “Me?” I ask.
    He points at my sweatshirt. I look down. It reads: University of Montana, 2001 National Champions.
    “Yeah, you,” he says.
    “Well, I am pretty smart sometimes,” I say.
    He pokes me in the chest with his finger, and it hurts.
    “It’s not smart to wear a Griz shirt in Bozeman.”
    I look past the young man to the counter, but the woman who gave me the tea and the granola bar doesn’t seem to notice. He and I are alone in the back of the coffee shop.
    “I don’t care about the University of Montana Grizzlies,” I say. “I’m a Texas Christian University fan.”
    This makes him angrier.
    “So you’re just fucking with people then?”
    “No.”
    “It seems like you are.”
    “Conjecture can be a risky thing,” I say. “It seems that you’re assuming the reason for my wearing this sweatshirt, and as it turns out, you’re incorrect.”
    My father received it from a friend of his, a University of Montana supporter, and I got it from my mother when she was sorting out my father’s clothes to give away after he died. I wore it today because I was thinking of him.
    “You’re a real smart-ass, aren’t you?”
    “No, just smart.”
    What happens next is so abrupt I have no way to prepare for it. The angry young man hits me square in the nose with his fist. Intense pain spreads across my face, and my eyes begin to water. I almost fall off the chair I’m sitting on, but I catch the edge of the table with my left hand and hold myself up. I taste something tinny in my mouth, and I touch my nose. It’s bleeding.
    “Fuck you,” the young man says, and he turns and heads for the door.
    The woman who was working the counter runs past him the other way to check on me.
    “Are you OK?” she asks.
    “I’m bleeding.”
    I want to