Deal With It by Monica McKayhan

little,” I admitted.
    “I got you. I promise I won’t hurt you,” Vance whispered.
    I had never seen this side of him before. Up until then, he’d been somewhat of a quiet guy, smart, with future goals and dreams. But today he was a teenage boy, with hormones raging out of control. It was confusing and a little scary.
    “I’m not ready. I think this is something we should talk about first and make sure it’s the right time.”
    “I tried to talk to you about it the other night, remember?” Of course I remembered. “Everybody’s doing it, Tameka,” he said, and then his lips touched mine again. “And it’s the perfect time. My folks are gone, and we have the whole house to ourselves. And…I got protection, if that’s what you’re worried about.” He reached into the drawer of his nightstand, pulled out three or four condoms and placed them near the lamp.
    “I need to get over to Mickey D’s. That’s where I told my parents I would be. I wanna be there when Mr. Summer picks up Indigo so he can take me home, too. My parents trust me to be responsible, and I don’t want to mess that up.”
    “You think making love to your boyfriend is irresponsible?” he asked. “I have girls throwing it at me on a daily basis, Tameka, but really I just want it to be with you.”
    “Girls like who?” All I heard was the word girls. I wanted to know who these girls were, and if he was catching it when they were throwing it at him.
    “Like, a bunch of girls. I don’t keep track.” He stood, grabbed the autographed football from his bookshelf, tossed it into the air.
    I was flooded with jealousy at the thought of other girls pushing up on Vance. At that moment I was faced with a decision—the decision to give it up simply because that was what I was expected to do. Or walk away, think it through and not make a hasty decision. I thought about my mother and how she had taught me to never let anyone touch my “pocketbook” before I was ready. I could still hear her voice in my head, giving me the same lecture that she’d given me a million times.
    “Please take me to McDonald’s, where the rest of my friends are, so I can catch a ride home.”
    Vance pulled his car keys from the pocket of his jeans, held them in the air. “Let’s go,” he said.
    In the car, he turned on V-103’s Quiet Storm.
    “You mad?” I asked.
    “Nah, I’m cool,” he said. “You cool?”
    “I’m okay.”
    “I didn’t mean to rush you into something you weren’t ready for, Tameka. I’m sorry.” He sounded so sincere.
    Now that was the Vance I knew—sweet, respectful. His fingertips brushed against my cheek.
    “Thank you for understanding.” I smiled.
    He shrugged.
    I could see the golden arches up ahead, and I wondered if I’d made the right decision. After all, we were in a serious relationship. Not just a fly-by-night, casual sort of thing. We’d made vows and promises. I just wondered what was required in a serious relationship. Did you give up your right to say no? Not to mention, girls were throwing it at him on a daily basis. It was just a matter of time before he considered going somewhere else, and I knew it.
    “Just let me know when you’re ready,” he said.
    I buttoned my coat up, slipped my gloves onto my hands, pulled my toboggan onto my head and braced myself for the night air.

six
    Vance
    I listened to the score on ESPN as my eyes slowly drifted shut. I hit the mute button on the television and hit the power button for the stereo. Lil Wayne spit some lyrics to me on 107.9. Things with Tameka hadn’t gone as planned. She wanted to wait until we had talked about having sex before we actually did it. What sense did that make? What a waste of an empty house, I thought as my head bounced against my pillow, and I struggled to stay awake and catch the score from the game.
    My phone vibrated on my nightstand. I picked it up. A text from Tameka.
    WUP?
    Nuthin, I typed.
    Just wanted 2 say GNITE.
    U