Divergent Parody: Avirgent by Maurice Hill, Michelle Hunt

live in.”
     She sighed and crossed her arms. “This is so stupid.”
     I gulped. Oh God, first I jumped off of a roof, out of a plane onto a train, now I have to fight to everyone just to become a Tricker? Where's my ticket to get out of here while I can?
    Al raised his hand.
    “Yes Al?”
    Al gulped harder than I did and cleared his throat. “Sir, what happens to the rest of us that lose?”
    TB4 giggled. “Well that's quite simple lad, the rest of you will go into the faction with all the other undesirables. You know, the working class.”
    “Noooooo!” I screamed. Limp Ussy and his crew made several swears. Even Christine was taken aback, but not by much.
    “Screw that,” said Limp, putting his fists together. “I'm not going to work with some betas in a factory.” He looked at his group. “Consider our friendship over.”
    Steven shrugged. “Like, whatever dude. We never had one.”
     Limp Ussy nodded. “True. Then I guess that means you're no longer my bitches. But all three of you, and the rest of these punks here will be the cannon fodder in my way to becoming the new initiate into Tricker. No one's gonna stop me!”
    He ripped his shirt in two, and threw the pieces on the floor. TB4 looked on shocked at how much bigger Limp's muscles looked compared to his, but not by much.
    “Damn it! I'm a beast! Nobody is going to take me down damnit! No one!!!!”
    He picked up Max, and threw him toward TB4.
    “Damn it!” TB4 leaped out of the way and Max shattered into and through the glass. The pieces fell like rain, and Max's blood splattered all over the floor, like out of some horror movie.
     “Yeah!!!” shouted Limp, flexing his muscles.
    I was so scared, I didn't even notice the small yellow puddle under my feet. My knees collapsed underneath me and Christine looked down, worried.
    “Damn girl, he broke bullet proof glass.”
    “Y-y-yeah...” I said, my voice breaking.
     Al hugged Hailey tight. “Don't worry sister, you can lose to me so he doesn't kill you.”
    TB4 cleared his throat, and picked himself back up from the floor. “Well then...I guess that makes seven of you. Um...” He looked at the rest of us. “And I suppose that also means six of you should start getting acquainted with the most powerful group in America once you get a working class job.”
    “Who?” I asked.
    TB4 gulped. “The I.R.S.”
     ---
    “Like, did you see him? He's not human! He's not human!” said Al, gorging on a muffin and then downing some milk. Hailey nibbled at her carrot tenderly. We were sitting in the cafeteria room, just several tables away from Limp's old crew now consisting of two people. And Limp sat by himself, eating bowls of cut up ham, chicken legs, and beef.
    Christine winced at Al. “Hey, watch yourself. You're gonna choke if you keep eating like that boy. Damn.”
    I agreed. “Yeah, and what you're eating is disgusting. Enjoy your heart-attack.”
    Al put down his milk carton and wiped away the little milk-mustache.
    “Hey, my pops used to say it's not how many years you have in your life, but how much life you have in your years. I'll die forever young, and you two can revel in your wrinkly old age with dried up-”
     Christine put up a hand. “I get it Al. So, what were you saying about Limp?” Christine picked up the fork from her plate and started eating a spoonful of collard greens.
    Al put his milk carton down and coughed, his hands shaking with nervousness and anticipation. “He's a freakin' monster that's what I was saying. His veins were like huge snakes. I bet if we popped  several of them, he could turn into a human fountain.”
    Christine put down her fork and said, “ Hell no, boy. What you're thinking about is against the rules. Not to mention, illegal.”
    “Oh come on, what Limp did was illegal! TB4, that...that douche-prick!”
    “Hey! Just because he's more fit than you, and has sexual relationships, doesn't mean he's a douche!”
    “He's a douche! If his