Girl Lost by Nazarea Andrews

when my muscles were weak with exhaustion, trembling from a workout, my mind shut down.
    It's better than self medicating with drugs. Even Grayson approves, as long as I don't overdo it.
    There aren't many other runners out, this early in the morning, and I enjoy the quiet. I don't ever want it to end. I don't want to be forced to think. It hurts too much. I have to deal with James and that stupid fucking kiss.
    Orchid might hate me after she learns about it. And there is Micah.
    It wasn't fair, to ask that. I know it, and he knows I know it. My brother has been the only person to care for me in years.
    I shouldn't be so lost in memories that I've forgotten that truth. The Boy, for all that he has never left me alone, has not cared for me the way Micah has.
     
    I manage to avoid everyone until lunch. I'm sitting outside—it's one of the last days itll be nice enough to before winter sinks her claws in, so no one can say I'm being odd.
    A body drops down next to me, and I pause in the middle of a bite of yogurt.
    He is brightness, all golden skin and hair, and shiny teeth in a wide smile. His eyes—a boring brown—don't glitter with sly wit. They just smile, a bright smile.
    "You’re a freshman. Right? Rooming with Orchid Lewis.”
    I nod, and he leans back on his elbows. "I'm Lane Peterson."
    "Gwen Barrie," I say. Belatedly, I realize I'm holding the spoon still suspended. I lick it clean and drop it into the container, setting it aside.
    "It's really nice, right? I think this is our last summer day before we get winter."
    I smile, amused that our thoughts are so similar.
    "So we should celebrate."
    I arch an eyebrow. "How so?"
    "My team and I are doing a bonfire tonight."
    "Team?" I say slowly.
    He grins. "The rowing team? I've seen you down on the beach, Gwen Barrie."
    I smile. "Have you been watching me?"
    He flushes. "No. I mean. Not really. I see you and that guy—Micah. I talked to him. We'd love to get him on the team, but he's being pretty resistant."
    "Are you asking me because my brother told you to?" I ask abruptly.
    "That's your brother?" Lane asks, startled. I nod and he shrugs. "Nah. I mean, that's cool and everything, but I'm asking cause you’re gorgeous."
    I smile, realizing this is the first time I've had a conversation all week where I wasn't worried or stressed.
    And that, more than anything, makes me say yes.
     
    Lane stops by the dorm to pick me up at nine. James and Orchid are sitting her bed, arguing in low voices, and I'm at my desk, working on a paper and wishing he'd hurry the hell up—being around James is awkward, even more so because he's acting like the incident on the beach never happened.
    The rap on the door halts their quiet fighting and has me leaping from my chair to answer it.
    Lane is in a sweater and jeans, with no hat. I smile at that—hats annoy me.
    "Can we help you?" James asks coolly. He must have learned that from Orchid.
    "He's here for me," I say, snagging my coat and phone. "I'll be back later."
    I see their startled expressions as I pull the door shut, and Lane laughs softly next to me.
    "They're protective."
    "Just not used to me going out. I'm sorta a homebody."
    He grins happily. "Then I'll have to show you a good time, to make sure you come back out."
    I smile, a slightly strained expression. He doesn't notice, or if he does, he doesn't comment. Instead, he grabs my hand and leads the way through the dorm hall.
    It's cooled considerably outside, and I'm glad I brought a sweater. "So why did you just watch? Why didn’t you talk to me?" I ask.
    Lane flicks a glance at me. "Because you’re gorgeous and way out of my league."
    I blush. I'm not—I'm too thin and not nearly curvy enough, my hair isn't blonde or brown, it's some indecisive color between. My eyes are bright, and I like them—but that's not enough to cover the other ordinary aspects.
    "Come on," he says, grinning.
    I can see the fire from a distance, a brilliant splash of orange on the beach,