God on Sex: The Creator's Ideas About Love, Intimacy, and Marriage by Daniel L. Akin

biblical principle is that both parties are to provide adequate sexual satisfaction so that both “burning” (sexual desire) and temptation to find satisfaction elsewhere are avoided (1 Cor. 7:9).
5. The principle of satisfaction means that each party is to provide sexual enjoyment (which is “due” him or her in marriage) as frequently as the other party requires. Other biblical principles (moderation, seeking to please another rather than oneself, etc.) also come into play. Consideration of one's mate is to guide one's requests for sexual relations.
6. In accordance with the principle of “rights,” there is to be no sexual bargaining between married persons (“I'll not have relations unless you …”). Neither party has the right to make such bargains. This is a form of “marital prostitution” and must be avoided.
7. Sexual relations are equal and reciprocal. The Bible does not give the man superior rights over the woman or the woman superior rights over the man. Mutual stimulation and mutual initiation of relations are legitimate.
8. Whatever is safe, pleasing, enjoyable, and satisfying to both is acceptable. The body of each belongs to the other (1 Cor. 7:4). Neither should demand from the other what is painful, harmful, degrading, or distasteful to him or her.
He brought me to the banquet hall,
     and he looked on me with love.
Sustain me with raisins;
     refresh me with apricots,
     for I am lovesick.
His left hand is under my head,
     and his right hand embraces me.
Young women of Jerusalem, I charge you,
     by the gazelles and by the wild does of the field:
     do not stir up or awaken love
     until the appropriate time. (vv. 4–7)
     
PREPARE FOR PASSION (VV. 4–7)
    These verses continue the theme of romance. Interestingly, there is both encouragement and warning. Sex is a powerful gift. It is intoxicating. It has unbelievable potential for good or evil, to build up or tear down, to delight or destroy. Solomon gives us some additional instruction to ensure maximum sex, maximum safety, and maximum satisfaction. This is the sex God has planned from the beginning.
MAKE LOVE IN THE RIGHT PLACE (V. 4)
    The man takes his bride into “the banqueting hall,” literally “the house of wine.” This scene anticipates the wedding night and the marriage bed. The open vineyard with all its beauty and encouragement to love may be in view. Regardless, it will be a place reserved only and exclusively for them. The imagery of wine again speaks of the intoxicating love they will share.
MAKE LOVE WITH THE RIGHT COMMITMENT (V. 4)
    “He looked on me with love” speaks of the protective love of her lover, and the safe place to which he has brought her. It also testifies that the love which the king has for her is evident to everyone. He does not say one thing to her in private and contradict that in public. He is not warm and considerate when they are alone but cold and sarcastic when they are with others. He is not ashamed of his love for her. He is glad for all to see. No wonder she grows more and more secure in his love. Carr notes that some translate the Hebrew text, which is admittedly difficult at this point, in a way that is even more strikingly sensual: “And his wish regarding me was love-making” or more simply “his intentions were to make love.” 9 Solomon wants her and she wants him. They are the right partners. They have the right passion. They have the right place. But all the essential ingredients are still not present.
MAKE LOVE IN THE RIGHT WAY (VV. 5–6)
    Shulammite says she is in the midst of a great feast and she thinks about their lovemaking. Her mind carries her away to the joys of marriage which are just around the corner. The Bible teaches that we should feast on our mate and that God smiles when we do. Shulammite is so overcome with the passion of the moment she feels faint. “For I am lovesick” is translated in the NIV as “I am faint